What I Wouldn't Give
by Loveless27
Summary: A different outlook on what happened post Sophia set after 4x07 in which Emily and Naomi's lives head in different directions, one of them down a darker path. The question is will they come full circle so they are back in each others lives?
1. Chapter 1

**This popped into my head whilst listening to the song What I wouldn't give by Holly Brook - apologies if it's all a bit angsty I had some bad news recently and my heads been in a bit of a funk. **

**I don't own skins but I wish I had Naomily chained up in my head for my own personal pleasure! *sigh***

* * *

Naomi stumbled through the front door completely off her face, tonight had been especially shit. Another night out with Effy and Cook a familiar experience that she looked forward to just so she could drink herself into a stupor and consume as much drugs and alcohol as humanly possible without passing out and hopefully not run into anyone she knew. But it appeared tonight wasn't destined to be, it appeared Naomi was due some punishment for fucking the dead girl and making a mistake she now felt she would never be forgiven for and a part of her felt she shouldn't be forgiven. She had hurt so many people with her actions and even though she hadn't pushed Sophia she had certainly played a part in her death.

Of all the people Naomi could have seen out it had to be her Emily, no not hers not anymore just Emily, Emily and that bitch, that giant not Naomi who had her grubby hands all over her precious little pocket sized red head, in fact she had been at the point of practically fucking her there and then in the club. It was as if a ton weight had been placed on her chest crushing her so she couldn't breathe she could only see red and not just the red of Emily's hair she was furious but she couldn't tear her eyes from the pair, she seemed destined to torture herself.

Anger radiated through the blonde upon seeing them together and just seeing Emily rather than the once cherished feelings of love and want that she would normally experience when she saw her beloved red head. Deep down she still loved Emily and she felt she would continue to do so but Naomi was a different person now ever since Emily had stabbed her in the heart and twisted the knife so the wound couldn't heal. The old Naomi had left with her, this new version was even more closed off, even more self destructive and ice cold. At least that's what most people thought, it appeared only Effy was able to see through the facade and see the truth; she was always watching and always analysing the blonde. She would notice the defeated and soulless look in her eyes however brief it may be, the clench of her fists and jaw, something the blonde done to stop herself from walking across and taking back what should always be rightfully hers. The way Naomi steeled herself so she could keep her composure and not show to everyone the hurt inside her, to not show Emily how much it hurt without her by her side, her hand clasped in her own.

Effy's own fury rose at the red head, she didn't disagree that Naomi had made a mistake she cheated on Emily of course it was a mistake - more than a mistake - but Emily's actions had been harsh and spiteful something she hadnt thought she would be capable of, she had broken Naomi the day she had walked in on Emily and Mandy mid fuck. Although I suppose you could argue that this was technically no different to what Naomi had done, Effy's intuition was that it was premeditated and sadly she was rarely wrong she felt as though Emily had known that Naomi was going to walk in on them, like she had planned it to get back at the blonde, to give her a taste of her own medicine so to speak. It's ironic really as in her opinion Naomi had been doing everything in her power to win Emily back, she had taken the cold shoulder, the abuse both mental a physical, the embarrassment in front on her friends and Emily's family at that fateful barbeque of Mrs and Mrs Campbells, she had taken everything the red head had thrown at her and the shit Katie had thrown that Emily was probably unaware of.

Effy watched Naomi swipe some pills from Cook and then down a number of drinks together whilst torturing herself looking over at the pair who were currently stampeding all over the blondes lifeless body. Finally and thankfully she watched Naomi leave, well more like stagger from the bar after she had spent more than 20 minutes staring at the toilet door she had watched Emily and Mandy pass through and not return from, a scowl firmly plastered on her face as she downed shot after shot. Leaving it another half hour or so after Naomi had left she followed the same path made by the blonde knowing she would have needed time on her own.

* * *

Laying on her bed stripped down to her bra and jeans as she had managed to throw up on her top Naomi's mind raced like a joy riding teen being chased by the police, her anger had faded during her cold walk home and it was replaced by longing for her familiar red headed beauty, longing to have her laying here next to her here now, caressing her porcelain skin, enjoying the little whimpers and moans of pleasure she could elicit from the petit woman who owned her heart lock stock and barrel. Instead all the blonde had were her thoughts, thoughts to tempt her with that she couldn't have and couldn't hold.

Naomi vaguely heard a key in the front door and then heard it click shut shortly after she then heard the thud of Effy's boots on their way up the stairs.

Not long after Emily had left Effy had moved into the house after not being able to cope with her mum any longer. It had actually been a welcome release as she rarely pushed Naomi, that all seeing knowledge she possessed almost always resulted in Effy doing exactly what it was that the blonde needed at the time. There was however one downside and that was that Effy watched her friend like a hawk.

She felt rather than heard Effy's presence at the door, it had been expected and so when she heard Effy speak to her if hadn't been a shock.

As she glanced a look at the door she saw Effy leaning casually against the door frame, one foot crossed over the other and her arms mirroring in a similar fashion her head tilted and clearly surveying the blonde from afar 'She doesn't love her you know' like it really mattered to the blonde, Emily didn't love Naomi anymore it made no difference if she did or didn't love Mandy the whole point was that she wasn't in love with Naomi all because she had been scared. Scared of the fact that one small beautiful red head had such a hold on her, that she would give her life for another person something she had never thought was possible Emily Fitch was like kryptonite to the blonde a pure undiluted weakness that crippled her and left her a quivering wreck inside who had no control and no power over herself. That was why she fucked Sophia to prove to herself she was in control to prove she wasn't a slave to her feelings, want and need for the red head.

At hearing no response from the blonde Effy walked further into the room and dropped down onto the bed next to Naomi resting her head in her hand facing her whilst Naomi continued to stare blankly at the ceiling. Effy grasped Naomi's forearm and traced her fingers down it feeling all the imperfections that now marred her beautiful pale skin 'I almost expected to come home and find some new additions...' trailing off she stared at the blonde waiting for a sarcastic retort but received nothing but a shrug. A ripple of hope crossed Effy's features this wasn't like her companion normally she would come home and release her anger in some form whether that be fuck some random girl she picked up or trash her stuff or harm herself by taking her temper on out a solid object or herself as she had so many times which had resulted in the many scars that graced the blondes body. Effy also frequently got flipped off when she mentioned Naomi's harming even though more than once she had come home and found Naomi a wreck having to clean her up whether it be from illness due to excessive drinking or cuts and grazes due to her destructive nature she had developed. There were now too many scars to count, she had tried before but they crossed each other leaving no clear path. It was scary as only a couple of months had passed since the fateful day that had created the damaged Naomi that existed today and the level of destruction the blonde had caused in such a short period was unfathomable.

It had started slow at first, by accident in fact the unintentional result of one or maybe ten too many drinks at a bar and a trip on a staircase which had left the blonde bloody and bruised for some time but the event had served two purposes - the pain had been a welcome distraction from the gaping hole left behind by Emily but at the same time the crimson blood had served as a reminder of her Emily, it was like a double edged sword. Effy knew Naomi didn't self destruct to gain attention as many people would think, she done it to prove to herself she was in control and to feel something other than the nothingness left behind now, or sometimes just to forget and enjoy the nothingness without the guilt and the remorse. The fact that she hid her habit so well from everyone - everyone except Effy - spoke volumes about how it wasn't a cry for help. If people wanted help they would walk openly, arms spread wide to show to all the extent of their pain. No... self harmers weren't attention seekers quite the opposite in fact.

The scars that marred her porcelain skin were to always serve as a reminder of what love did to you and why it would never happen again, no... correction it couldn't happen again. Harming had been one of the blondes releases - her trusty friendly blade that had allowed her to see the red she desired red that reminded her so much of her Emily and then it had evolved into something different a form of self inflicted punishment, punishment for allowing herself to become so weak and so reliant on one person something she vowed she would never do but something that had happened without her realising none the less. It also proved to give her a distraction; the pain numbed her thoughts and drove away her inner demons that would torment her. It gave her an out, a distraction where she was safe where she could choose to control her pain rather than letting her pain control her.

But now Effy sensed something different in the blonde, she had seen it building recently, brief glimpses in Naomi's eyes and in her actions. Defeat - pure and simple. She couldn't go on this way forever and she had recognised this but it was up to Naomi to voice it, to speak it aloud so she could begin to heal. She needed forgiveness not from Emily as you would think but from herself, she needed to forgive herself and stop punishing herself, maybe then she could deal with her pain and stop finding ways to distance or distract herself from it. Effy waited patiently the same way she had been waiting for weeks, waiting for her friend to take that step and learn to live again. She grasped her hand and laid on her back beside the blonde tracing lazy circles on her hand a sign of reassurance that she understood her and was here for her for whatever she needed an unspoken vow of friendship.

'I can't stop thinking about her Ef, I can't get her out of my head' a tear slid down the blondes cheek 'I want to forget her but...' She didn't finish her sentence, she didn't need to Effy understood, she was scared, scared that if she let Emily ago she would be giving up on them for good that would be it, the end, finito.

'I know Naoms but this can't go on forever' Naomi didn't need Effy to point this out but she had pointed it out regardless if Naomi was ready to talk then Effy was going to grab the opportunity with both hands and try to help the blonde start to deal with this so she could learn to live her life, she had waited for Naomi to make the first move but she wouldn't sit back and watch her friend suffer forever.

'I can't tell what's real and what's in my imagination anymore all I see is red Effy... everywhere I turn - it all reminds me of her... she's my... my everything...' Naomi trailed off having felt she had said too much already. Effy knew it was now or never she grasped Naomi's hand tighter and turned so she could see the blondes face she took a deep breath 'I know she was Naoms but she can't be not anymore, not unless you're going to fight for her and stop punishing yourself, you need to forgive and fight for her back or forget her and learn how to live without her, because this... where you are now in a kind of limbo, this isn't going to cut it not forever, not for you babe, sooner or later it will wear you down or destroy you completely.'

A muffled sob was all the response she had received and then the blonde had turned her back on Effy curling into a ball 'Ef will you stay with me tonight' it was whispered almost unheard but a simple request so she wasn't alone and Effy would oblige she would keep her friend close to her and show her that she was loved 'course just don't get any ideas, my tits are still off limits' a sound halfway between a laugh and a sob left the blondes lips and Effy stood up slipped her clothes and boots off down to her underwear and slipped in the bed making herself comfortable whilst she waited for the blonde to do the same. Naomi had equally slipped under the covers and returned to the position before facing away from her so Effy scooted over and wrapped her arms around the blonde and held her close as she waited for sleep to overcome her. This wasn't the first time Effy had comforted the blonde and she had a feeling it wouldn't be the last. Naomi obviously wasn't ready to let go, not yet she needed more time but at least there was hope now, at least she was starting to talk to her now rather than continuing to bottle it all up.

Naomi would be okay, Effy would make sure of it but one thing was certain the blonde would always carry with her a constant reminder of the red head in her heart and on her skin but they would be hers and hers alone. She understood all too well, she understood that Naomi wouldn't ever tell anyone the reason behind her wounds as to do that she would have to let someone close again and she wouldn't drop her guard and let anyone in the same way. She'd built her fortress stronger and more impenetrable than ever before.

As Effy listened to the blondes breathing even out she pressed a kiss to the nape of the her neck 'everything will be ok I'll make sure of it Naoms' with that she snuggled in closer to the blonde making sure that Naomi was loved as tomorrow things would resume back to normal, until the time came that Naomi was ready to learn to live again.

**So I had originally intended this as a one shot - just a way to get some of my dark mood out of my head but I'll leave the decision to you guys as if you want more or not. No pressure! Any reviews good or bad would be welcomed as this is my first skins story on here - thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to everyone that reviewed or added to their story alerts, it genuinely brought a smile to my face. I was a little worried that some of the content wouldnt sit well with some people. I'm going to apologise now as I've never written fluff before so I hope I've done an OK job, I'm not convinced after reading some of the amazing works on this site however I hope you'll forgive me if its not up to scratch. Enjoy!**

* * *

Naomi woke with protective arms wrapped around her; Effy must have spent practically the whole night holding and comforting her. Most people would find this level of caring a true act of friendship and Naomi didn't doubt it for a second but it made her feel weak and more than a little bit pathetic. The new and improved Naomi shouldn't need comforting, she felt anger rising inside her directed at no-one but herself and her weakness. Glancing at the clock she realised that they had slept nearly half the morning away though that wasn't all that surprising considering that they hadn't gotten into bed until some ungodly hour for your regular Joe. Extracting herself from her protector's arms she padded out the bedroom and into the bathroom but not before grabbing some clothes from the floor in the process.

Turning the tap and then grasping the edge of the sink with both hands Naomi glanced at her reflection in the mirror not really recognising the person staring back at her anymore but knowing this was who she was and who she needed to be right now, not the weak person she was last night, the person that let Effy in a little too close a little too deep into her defences. Nor the person who let the sight of Emily get to her so much and cause such an uncontrollable reaction in her.

As much as she hated to admit it Effy was right - wasn't she always! Naomi did need to make a decision; fight or flight but now just wasn't that time, now was the time for ignorance. As they say ignorance is bliss, distraction from everything is just what the doctor ordered, well maybe not if they saw the sight of her, but her own internal pharmacist was writing a prescription for alcohol, drugs, partying and maybe a little something something if her luck was in, all in the name of a bit of what she considered to be healthy self destruction.

Splashing her face with water she pulled herself together and buried all her insecurities and weakness from last night back where they belonged deep in the back of her mind locked and chained away. Not quite ready to give up on Emily but not ready to do anything about it either, things were to stay the same and there wasn't much longer until she and Effy would leave for University anyway then things would get easier, no Emily equals no problem that was the plan. Until then she would take each day as it comes, no hesitation and no regrets just existing to get from one day to the next. One month that's all she needed she could do that, after that she and Effy would be at Uni and Emily, well she had overheard that Emily and Mandy were off on the trip they had planned together to Goa, to go fuck on every beach India. It was never meant to be anyone other than Naomily, but Naomi had no one to blame but herself, she had been the one that fucked it up she seen to it that it Naomily wasn't going to India and wasn't going to fuck on every beach.

Throwing one last look at her reflection she scowled at herself and then headed into the kitchen to grab a much needed coffee. Learning to function on little sleep had resulted in a desperate need for a caffeine fix each morning or afternoon, whatever time it was when she crawled or was dragged out of bed, today was definitely one of those days she was completely exhausted. It was like there was a monster crashing around the house before at least one cup of coffee was consumed. Caffeine was the perfect start to the well it didn't so much matter if it was a perfect day or not, it was just necessary to make her even the slightest bit human and only mildly snarky as opposed to a right royal bitch.

Coffee consumed she decided she didn't want to hang about to be met with one Effy's knowing glances so she hurried into the shower to wash away the remnants of sleep and dressed quickly not bothering with makeup today. Grabbing her stuff and shoving it into her bag she hastily headed out the door and walked a familiar route to one of her frequently visited spots, an oak tree at the park that provided the perfect shade in the summer and the perfect protection from the rain in the winter, well or summer.

Today was to be one of those traditional British days, you know the type bitter cold, miserable and wet, this is the point where you wished you had looked outside before actually leaving the house and grabbing a coat but it was too late now, Naomi would just need to rely on a spliff or two and some cigs to keep her warm.

Most people hated walking in the rain but there was something about it that appealed to Naomi that she couldn't quite put her finger on, she loved it almost felt like she deserved to be cold, deserved to have the bitter wind and chill nip at those parts of her exposed completely to the elements.

Reaching into her bag she pulled out her fags and sparked one up letting the calming effect wash over her that just made the rain feel even more special, even more appropriate. It didn't take long to reach the oak tree and almost immediately she felt her eyes being drawn subconsciously to the engraving in the bark a simple N and E interlinked. She felt the familiar sting in her eyes which signalled the brewing of tears, biting back her feelings she steeled herself something that she was getting better at as time drew on.

Settling back against the tree Naomi let her memories drift back to the day she and Emily had marked this spot as their own; it had been not long before returning to college for their final year.

* * *

Naomi and Emily sat with their backs resting against the tree passing a cigarette between them watching the kids enjoying themselves running amuck in the playground and the frantic adults chasing after their children.

A snort of laughter passed the blondes lips completely unexpected...

'What? What's so funny?' Emily questioned not understanding what had made Naomi chuckle aloud so suddenly.

'See that scrawny kid over there' she pointed in the direction of a small blonde haired boy who was sitting on the floor throwing his arms and legs about clearly having a major tantrum 'he just started having a paddy because that girl' she pointed again 'wasn't giving him any attention...pretty fucking hilarious'

Emily just looked at her with raised eyebrows 'Jesus I thought it was actually something funny not you being a weirdo I think you might have had one too many spliff's love, its addled your brains'

'Ha ha very funny Ems the only thing addling my brains is when you put that delicious pink tongue of yours to work' she added a cheeky wink for good measure and then ran her hand delicately up Emily's exposed thigh thanking the good weather which left her red headed beauty scantily clad in a vest and some deliciously snug denim shorts which stirred a hungry reaction in the blonde.

'Behave you wretch not in public the kiddies might see' a flustered Emily replied her face almost matching the delicate shade of red of her hair.

'No fair...so if I _can't_ have my wicked way with you, then what can we do' Naomi huskily slurred whilst tracing lazy circles on Emily's milky skin of her thigh gently letting the circle rise higher and higher and relishing the almost audible gasp that left the lips of an almost breathless Emily who was clearly being turned on by her actions.

'Um...I...Fuck' Naomi was making her crazy she was so turned on right now it was hard to form a sentence let alone come up with a witty retort to silence the blondes actions, but she knew she was fighting a losing battle and sooner or later she wouldn't be able to resist the blonde.

It was thankful that when laying down by this tree you were just out of eyeshot of the park as otherwise soon there could very well be some very irate parents shielding their children's eyes should they happen to glance in the general direction of the duo so clearly turned on for one another.

Naomi's eyes bored into those of her lovers seeing how turned on she was making Emily, she herself was equally turned on and Emily wasn't even touching her so she could only imagine just how Emily was feeling right about now. She loved the fact that she could make Emily speechless without doing more than gently roaming her hands almost innocently across her skin. She shifted her weight so that she was resting one arm on her elbow whilst she continued her actions then gently dipped her head towards the milky thigh and let her tongue trace a similar pattern to that which her hand had just made all the while watching Emily's face for her reaction, though it wasn't necessary as she needed only listen for the hitch in her breath which was shortly followed by a verbal curse that brought a smile to the blondes lips.

She let her hand resume its earlier actions whilst she sat back up and pressed a ginger kiss to the breathless lips that had uttered the curse only minutes ago, slowly pressing feather light kisses across the soft and supple lips and then gently tracing her tongue across Emily's bottom lip begging for entrance which was quickly granted, slipping her tongue into her mouth she teased and caressed Emily leaving her breathless further as she pulled away but not before flicking her tongue forcibly over Emily bottom lip one last time which resulted in a groan leaving said lips.

Gently she encouraged Emily to slither further down so both were laying fully on the ground now rather than resting against the bark of the tree. She looked into Emily's eyes once more and saw the hunger in them, saw the want that existed within those deep brown orbs. Gently stroking her hand down Emily's face from temple to Jaw she pressed another chaste kiss before gently pushing her head to the side so she could turn her attention to a slender milky neck that was begging for attention.

As she let her tongue slide across the skin and then gently nip at Emily's neck her hand lazily traced its way down the red heads torso feeling the rise and fall of her chest that had been caused by her actions. She slipped her hand lower all the time keeping up her actions on the milky throat before her now gently sucking on Emily's pulse point at exactly the same point in time as she slid her hand under the fabric of Emily's vest and traced her hand across the flat abdomen underneath causing Emily's back to arch off the ground before gently tracing one finger under the waistband of her denim shorts from one side to the other teasing her lover further.

Another breathless curse left Emily's lips 'Fuck Naomes...you...Jesus...you're such a fucking tease...' Emily could feel the blonde smirk against her neck before hastily pulling away and crushing her lips against hers to silence her as her hands now hurriedly worked to unbutton the denim shorts that stood between the blonde and her ultimate goal.

Making short work of the offensive buttons she slipped her hand inside the almost childish girl boxers that quoted cute trunks across the waist band and were adorned with cheeky faced elephants. Reaching her destination she gasped herself at how wet her red head was for her, she ran her fingers in Emily's wetness whilst watching the red heads eyes roll back into her head as she moaned in pleasure as she thrust two fingers swiftly yet gently inside her willing companion. Setting a steady rhythm she watched as Emily's lips parted and she started to pant gently whilst thrusting her hips in perfect harmony with Naomi.

Naomi didn't need to watch the red heads face as she felt her climax building, she could feel her muscles twitch beneath her. She knew there was risk that they would be discovered and despite how much she would like to please her Emily for hours she knew that it wasn't possible below the beautiful tree which they currently worshiped each other beneath. Curling her fingers at the perfect moment of each stroke she brought her beloved red head to new heights, she crushed her lips against Emily's in an attempt to stifle any audible moans or gasps of pleasure that she knew Emily was unable to control whilst she soared above the clouds in that moment where it seemed impossible for the pair to be any closer. Naomi continued to thrust as Emily rode out her orgasm all the while continuing to kiss the red head lovingly giving as much attention to the red heads lips as she had to her body.

She pressed kisses across Emily's face as she came down from her high, her chest still heaving as she struggled to regain her breathe. 'Fuck...that was...wow' a smirk formed on the blondes lips it seemed her actions often left Emily incapable to formulate full sentences, her only retort being a gentle chuck followed by a sexy 'Hmmmm' as she showered more kisses across Emily's face and neck.

Gently Emily finally opened her eyes and stared up at the blonde who was now gazing lovingly at her, she knew words weren't needed but she voiced them anyway 'I love you' a shy smile on her face as she saw the grin directed back to her from the blonde 'Love you too Ems' a simple declaration yet pure and true, anyone who gazed upon the paid could see the love that existed between them.

Shortly after Emily had gracefully yet eagerly returned the favour and let the blonde soar above the clouds herself, free and safe in her arms. The rest of the afternoon passed quickly and as the parents took their children home and the park emptied the pair still laid staring at the sky which was darkening in the east stealing the beautiful sunshine that was visible through the breaks in the tree's canopy.

'I like it here' Emily said completely out of the blue 'its peaceful I'll remember this place forever' she added with a light chuckle.

'You're not the only one' Naomi added with a happy sigh.

It was then that the pair had decided to mark this spot as their own, so this tree would physically represent one of the places that the pair had shared together a level of intimacy and love that few people would experience let alone understand.

Pulling herself from her memory which was as clear as day she mentally berated herself for remembering each detail so clearly as if it had only happened yesterday. Yes this specific spot held such memories for the blonde both good and bad and she was a glutton for punishment, it was with that very same knife that the pair had used to carve those letters lovingly into the bark that the blonde used to carve her own markings onto her skin. Her own memories specific scars holding specific memories that would only be known to the blonde, they would be the ones that she held close to her heart, that she would cherish forever as each had taught her a valuable lesson even if it hadn't been experienced at the time the mark was made.

As twisted as it was the, knowledge that the blade was so close to her and Emily almost encouraged the blonde to crave new markings even more. Pulling out the penknife from her bag she turned it over in her hands almost eager to see the red that was so familiar for more than one reason in light of her little trip down memory lane but now wasn't the time and doing that would almost certainly result in returning home to Effy's gaze sooner than she wished so she stowed the blade back into its place and instead extracted a tin with pre-rolled spliff's.

Sitting back she watched the day roll on by as she had done that fateful day without really thinking about anything, closing her eyes she rested back against the bark and just enjoying the peace and quiet.

At some point she must have drifted off as she felt the presence of someone sitting next to her. She gingerly cracked an eye open and saw none other than the infamous James Cook next to her blowing smoke rings above them both 'about fucking time you woke up blondie, I'm gagging for a spliff and you have that tin in some kind of hulk-ish vice grip' gesturing at Naomi's hand with his lit cigarette which was indeed firmly clamped around the tin that held those sticks that Cook so eagerly desired. A sleepy snort was the only response the blonde could muster until she pulled herself together and woke up a little better. Naomi shifted closer to Cook for some warmth regretting the absence of a jacket and her stupidity of falling asleep out in the open when she was already cold and wet.

Noticing the blonde move closer Cook automatically wrapped an arm around her shoulders and swiftly snatched the tin from her now relaxed grip and proceeded to light up and take a long drag and then passed the spliff across to Naomi.

'So...Good night then Naomikins, you took off early...pull anyone hot?' he questioned waggling his eyebrows as if to accentuate the implication behind his comment.

'Well I did wake wrapped firmly in a brunettes arms, but I'm not sure she counts, I vaguely remember something about tits being off limits' Naomi rolled her eyes and snatched the spliff from Cooks lips taking a long toke enjoying the warmth from the spliff and from Cook himself. 'So who told you where I was? Let me guess Effy?' she questioned with a raised eyebrow and a look that implied don't even try to lie to me I can read you like a book.

Nah not spoken to her babes, don't have to be a genius to figure where you would go' jabbing a thumb at the carving in the bark 'I saw her last night at the club figured you would be here...figured you might fancy getting fucked tonight...' he added with a shrug.

A dark look crossed the blondes features for a moment but went un-noticed by Cook who had returned to blowing smoke rings into the sky.

'Well you figured right I'm far too sober, Keith's?' Naomi looked across at Cook her mask firmly in place and a cheeky grin on her face which almost mirrored the mask that Cook wore most of the time.

Jumping to his feet Cook reached a hand down and hauled Naomi up off the floor with a swift nod he agreed 'Keith's!'

The pair left the park arm in arm, passing a freshly lit spliff between them their laughter echoing in the distance as Cook protested that Naomi hadn't set up a video for him in her room last night when he found out that it had been Effy's arms which had been encircled around the blonde.

**So there you have it, sorry for making you wait a while, I'll try and be a bit quicker with the next but I'm scheduled to become a drunken mess this weekend and trust me when I say I cant type for shit when I've had a few too many!**

**Please review and let me know what you like/hate!**


	3. Chapter 3

**So thanks once again for your reviews and I want to apologise for being so slow at updating again, I'm not going to promise I'll be quicker next time as I have a feeling I'm going to be a bit shit. Again. But please hang in there if you can and stay with me on this one!**

**Anyway here goes!**

Chapter 3

Keith's had been pretty grim as per usual but it had at least served its purpose, you could always count on Keith to get you totally fucked from both the alcohol he continued to serve after his legal licensing hours passed and also his own special brew that he concocted that always hit just the right spot in getting you as high as a kite and forgetting everything else around you.

A rather drunken Cook was trying to get a monumentally fucked Naomi back home but not making a good job of it or at least not managing to do it quickly or quietly. This was mostly because Naomi seemed to find everything fucking hilarious and apparently had completely forgotten how to be quiet and unable to keep her voice down. Staggering from side to side singing away at the top of her voice and completely out of tune to the most horrific rendition of 'take on me' heard to man Naomi and Cook steadily made their way back home the journey taking twice as long as it normally would.

'Shhhhh Shhhhh Cook' she part slurred part giggled whilst attempting to press her finger to her lips but instead succeeding in poking her finger almost up her nose and then breaking into yet another fit of uncontrollable giggles, because apparently it was just that funny. Cook couldn't quite seem to help himself either as he started chucking away at the blonde although at least he wasn't shrieking with laughter at the top of his voice. This was almost uncharacteristic for Cook, but currently that position was being filled by Naomi.

'Naomikins I love you babes, you're fucking hilarious but seriously no more of Keith's shit for you babes' he chuckled whilst trying to keep Naomi upright, she was absolutely off her tits and he had taken to supporting her now just to get her home quicker. Cook hadn't seen her so fucked for a long time, he realised it probably had something to do with the fact that she didn't eat anything all day and practically had a shot of every spirit behind the bar and then some!

At least one thing was certain, Cook had succeeded in taking her mind off Emily and all the other shit going on even if it was only for one night, tomorrow could be the day for thinking thoughts that would undoubtedly leave Naomi missing her beloved red head despite how much she tried to make herself believe she hated her. That is of course after she slept off the current predicament she had gotten herself into.

Finally making it back to Naomi's house he prompted her to find the keys which at the time seemed like a good idea but in retrospect it would have just been easier to get them himself as he looked on in awe and horror as he watched Naomi tip her bag upside down and pour the contents on the floor outside the front door whilst continuing to giggle as her possessions bounced, rolled and scattered away making a reasonable racket and didn't actually help the duo find the desired keys.

Pushing away from Cook she slumped down onto her knees with a thud still giggling and shuffled her hands around the floor closing one eye and poking her tongue out the corner of her mouth whilst she tried to focus on the carnage she had created to find her house keys.

Cook just stood there and looked on with disbelief before finally snapping himself out of it and finally dropping to the floor also, he started shoving Naomi's possessions back into her bag 'Fuck sake Naomikins what do you need all this shit for anyway' as he shoved her phone, lip gloss, spare change, chewing gum, lighter, cigs, numerous receipts and scraps of paper, her trusty pot tin and various other items including some of which that were rather hastily shoved back into the bag as quickly as possible and had brought a slight pink tinge to Cooks cheeks and had earned another batch of giggles from the blonde.

Naomi leaned back against the front door with her legs stretched out in front of her still chuckling away to herself, whatever Keith had given her had certainly made an impact, Cook couldn't remember the last time that Naomi had been in such a good mood, or heard her laugh so much even if it wasn't genuine but more drug induced laughter.

Naomi continued to wait as Cook finally collected the last of her belongings and then looked up at the blonde a mild frown on his face 'Do you have the keys?' he asked Naomi who was still giggling sleepily but just shook her head from side to side to signal that she didn't have them, whilst she tried to pat at her lets to check her pockets.

'Fan-fucking-tastic' he muttered and then dropped down next to Naomi slipping his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close whilst he reached a hand into his own pocket and pulled out a packet of fags sparking one up.

'Just fucking brilliant babes, what bloody idiot goes out without their keys!' He just felt a half hearted shrug, something told him Naomi didn't much care.

'Looks like we're camping out here tonight blondie there goes my chance of getting a willy waggle'

This just resulted in an even louder snort of laughter leaving the blondes lips and a rather pathetically aimed punch at Cook completely missing its target.

Snuggling into Cook closer Naomi felt her eyelids begin to get heavy as sleep tried to claim her but the cold hard floor beneath her wasn't a comfortable sleeping place; she missed the comfort of her nice warm bed, soft mattress and pillows.

Fortunately for her Effy had been awoken by the raucous noise the pair had created, well mostly Naomi had created. A loud high pitched shriek from Naomi signalled the opening of the front door as the solid door behind her which she had been resting against albeit uncomfortably had disappeared and the pair fell back into the doorway and laid looking up at an unimpressed Effy upside down.

Making no comment but quirking an eyebrow she turned on her heel and walked back off to bed, she would get her revenge later on Naomi for worrying about her all day and also for waking her. A hung over Naomi made an easy target for sarcasm and ridicule.

Cook had watched Effy walk away; more specifically watched the swagger of her hips. Although the pair no longer had that sort of relationship he still appreciated how sexy Effy was, the mystery that she held about herself that made her so desirable.

'Come on Naomikins, lets get you to bed' hoisting the drunken blonde heap off the floor he carried her up the stairs and unceremoniously literally dumped her on the bed and smiled as a little 'ughf' noise echoed about the room as Naomi hit the mattress.

He watched as she soon after flipped on to her side and grabbed a pillow hugging it tightly to her chest before closing her eyes and succumbing to the tiredness that had been threatening to consume her. Slipping her shoes off he took one last look at the slumbering blonde and then silently left the room.

As quietly as possible he made his way downstairs and set up shop on the sofa drawing another cigarette from his pocket as his mind wandered through the events of the evening. As always they had both had far too much to drink and as always he had always been better at handling it than Naomi but he had noticed the times when her mask had fell, brief though they may be. He knew what played on the blondes mind, it wasn't necessary to think of where it was that he had found her asleep earlier in the day to know that Emily still plagued her thoughts.

Things would get easier though time healed all wounds wasn't that what everyone said? The truth was that time didn't heal the wounds, it just taught you how to ignore them and not let them hurt so much or so obviously. Time taught you how to make your mask out of iron impenetrable and unbreakable.

He himself had built one of those very masks, his hurt hidden firmly behind his 'I don't give a fuck' attitude, Naomi had already had a mask very similar to that, though it had been shattered by Emily, picked apart piece by piece until nothing was left, until Naomi was left raw and vulnerable and scared.

Stubbing out his fag he laced his fingers behind his head whilst his thoughts lingered in the past until eventually sleep claimed him also.

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A dull throbbing pain echoed in the blondes head in time to the thud of her heart beat. Her mind was foggy, yesterday a distant memory that she couldn't recall a great deal about, not since she had woken next to Cook it had seemed like a good idea to get trashed at the time but right now it was definitely a bad idea, a very bad idea, she felt like total complete and utter shit.

Reaching a hand out she rubbed it furiously at her temple in the hope that it would make the thudding disappear whilst still firmly keeping her eyes closed but she already knew that nothing was going to remove the thud this morning not without help anyway. Turning onto her back she flopped her arms over her eyes resting them on her forehead as she sighed heavily, her whole body felt so heavy and tired and sick, completely nauseous in fact.

Naomi hadn't even dared open her eyes at this point, she had no idea how she would leg it to the bathroom if the feeling didn't subside and throwing up where she was just wasn't an option! Taking slow and deep breaths she felt the churning in her stomach begin to lessen thankfully after a while, so she took the risk of cracking one eye open, the piercing light of the day far too bright which only intensified the throbbing in her head, but at least on the plus side she didn't feel like she was going to empty her stomach contents right this minute.

She heard someone moving about loudly nearby, the thudding of the footsteps each acting like a nail being driven into her temple as she continued to try to adjust to the light blinking rapidly as her sore eyes objected, it was almost as if someone were stomping around on purpose. Probably only Effy she vaguely remembered seeing her last night, or was it this morning? She couldn't decide and it didn't really seem important anyway as she couldn't remember speaking to her anyway.

'You look like shit' Effy stated as she walked into sight carrying a glass of water and something in her hand which she placed on her bedside table and then sat heavily on the edge of the bed making Naomi bounce a little in the process.

'Feel like it too' Naomi retorted croakily, her mouth like sandpaper and a sewer combined, shifting into a sitting position she coughed a little and then looked to see what Effy had brought her a thankful smile in her head that didn't grace her features as she grabbed the pills left and swallowed them down greedily, drinking half the glass of water in the process.

'So, good night then?' Effy asked with a quirked eyebrow. Something told Naomi that she already knew the answer to this but apparently felt the need to ask it anyway hoping to make Naomi squirm.

Naomi just shrugged, she didn't really remember much just bits and pieces Effy would know that though, she knew Naomi well enough to know that when she pushed her limits her brain shut her memory function down, she was like a fish in both senses of the word, could continue to drink like one and didn't remember a thing.

Effy just smirked and rose from the bed 'shower. Now. You stink' she waved a hand in front of her face as if to further imply how bad the smell was, a pillow was half heartedly flung at her retreating form as she left the room with the usual sexy swagger in her step.

'Bitch' shouted Naomi at her retreating form with a wry smile on her face before eventually rising and heading to the bathroom.

The rest of the week passed in a similar fashion, spend the day recovering from the prior evening and then get ready to go out for the evening and have a good ol' giggle with Cook and Effy and get trashed in the process, these weeks were their last weeks of freedom. Soon the trio would head their separate ways, Effy and Naomi off to university and Cook was going to remain in Bristol and help his uncle Keith and keep up his outstanding sex status - man whore.

Both Effy and Naomi would look on with amusement and disbelief at watching Cook sidle his way up to the latest bit of totty to catch his eye and begin to recite the lyrics of 50 cents candy shop in their ear filthily whilst rhythmically thrusting his hips against them. How on earth that got him laid neither of them understood, in fact it made Naomi want to gag.

At least Naomi was exempt from Cooks advances and how she loved to tease Effy of the fact that she'd already been there and done that, the response she received was usually Effy flipping the bird which just earned her a cheeky grin from the blonde knowing Effy had no comeback.

These were the things from Bristol that Naomi would miss, she and Effy would both miss their friends however they would at least have each other and that was enough for now. The pair had built a strong bond at both losing those they loved at the same time and ironically Effy had been the one to cope with it better than Naomi, but on Naomi's defence Effy's and Freddie's decision to part ways had been mutual and amicable, unlike Naomi's and Emily's which had been hurtful, spiteful and destructive.

One thing Naomi wouldn't miss was her current home; a home which carried so many memories that she would sooner rather forget had ever happened. Naomi almost couldn't wait to leave but she had to wait a little longer.

In a week Gina and Kieran were heading back home from their travels, perfectly timed so that Naomi and Effy had a couple of weeks to sort themselves out before moving off to their new home before the start of term. A new start where Effy hoped Naomi would get her fresh start and finally start to heal and move on and live her life rather than destroy it piece by piece with her relentless activities.

This perfectly timed move had two advantages, it was short enough that Naomi wouldn't need to keep up the tiresome facade of being okay or good or fine around her mother who usually had the uncanny ability to read her like a book much like Effy, though thankfully her mother was still foolable unlike Effy who really could read Naomi from cover to cover.

Also it meant she could move the stuff she didn't want to take with her back to her childhood home of yellow and communal living! Thank God she would never have to experience communal living again, there were only so many times you could wake up with Jesus in your bed and not be mentally scarred from the ordeal. Also the naked guy with the headphones – creepy! If that didn't give you nightmares then nothing would. No, communal living wouldn't be missed and Bristol in general wouldn't be either.

Cook however, Cook would be greatly missed leaving him behind would be hard, but not as hard as trying to leave Emily behind. That was something she didn't think she would ever be able to but Naomi knew where she would need to start.

Effy had noticed Naomi become more and more solemn, more and more reserved as the time drew closer to their departure. She would spend her days alone in her room sorting her stuff or even doing menial tasks such as cleaning, washing and most boring of all ironing but all were oddly therapeutic and would allow Naomi to function on autopilot whilst her mind was elsewhere.

One afternoon Naomi left her home and head to the park to rest under the familiar Oak tree that she would always hold close to her heart forever, however she would give anything to stop feeling the way she did and giving anything meant giving up her safety net she had created, and there was no better place to achieve this than the Oak tree she had forever since associated with her beloved red head.

Emily was gone, she had left to travel, a part of her had hoped that she wouldn't go, that she would run back and seek out Naomi, beg her forgiveness, beg her to take her back, to hold her, to love her for all eternity Naomily together again perfect and whole.

But that was all a fantasy, not reality, which was a thing of dreams where sugar spice and all things nice existed where there were no snips, snails or puppy dog tails. A fantasy where they would shine and cast a golden glow and their love would dazzle the sun with its radiance and would burn brightly forever more a beacon in the distance.

But this was more like a fantasy that would turn into a nightmare every time the blonde woke, every day torturous and a struggle but Naomi had finally admitted to herself that holding on to the past wasn't possible anymore. If she truly wanted to be free she needed to be brave, not brave like Emily had asked to her so long ago, but brave for her to do what she needed to do, to be selfish, to do what was right for her and her alone.

She sat there staring at the tree that she had marked as her own that fateful summer's day and withdrew her trusty penknife from her bag. She stared aimlessly for what felt like an eternity convincing herself that this was the right thing.

She spoke for once truthfully and honestly to no one but herself, finally admitting and voicing the thoughts that she had held so close inside her and protected for so long now.

'I can't do this anymore, I tried but I can't, I'm tired...so sick and tired of holding on now that its destroying me' tears slid down her face in quick succession, not able to hold back her pain anymore. It was like speaking aloud had broken a dam down and the flow couldn't be stopped.

'I waited, I hoped and waited for you to come back to me, I'm sorry for what I done, sorry for hurting you the way I did I wish you would have forgiven me...wish I could have taken it back...'

Naomi paused lost in her thoughts, thoughts of how things could be different but she eventually shook her head as if to dismiss them, they weren't real and wouldn't be.

'I'll love you forever, maybe...maybe one day we can be together again, somewhere, somehow'

Her voice cracked on her last words, she raised her penknife and cut out the part of her life that tied her and had held her back, her tears sliding silently down her face as she did so.

Maybe now she could be free. Maybe now she could move on.

Effy watched from the opposite side of the park, hidden from Naomi's view. She watched Naomi rise from the floor and wipe tiredly at her eyes and then finally walk away having left a new raw scar that would heal with time as all wounds did.

This was Naomi giving up what it took to move on. Effy stared at the tree, at where she knew there used to be delicately carved letters that had represented so much, letters that were now no longer visible, that had been cut away much like the pair had cut each other out of their lives with their actions one stoke at a time.

This place now marked a new beginning.

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**So I was going to be mean and leave this a little ambiguous at the end, but I figured that you might all hate me and I thought I had made this story dark enough in places already to leave you thinking that. I hope you liked it, honestly I'm not all that happy with it and have struggled over the best way to move this on.**

**I have an idea where I want to take this and its going to still be a bit angst'y until I can make up my mind on what will trigger the change. My head is telling me what would be perfect but I know if I were reading this I wouldn't want it to happen that way, so I'm searching for a suitable alternative, any suggestions are greatly appreciated!**

**Anyway please review if you have time they are always appreciated even if you want to let me know that you dislike this chapter as much as I do!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks again to those lovely people who left a review!**

**So a little bit of a quicker update from me, I don't know what happened there. This is just a filler really and a bit of a change of pace. Don't hate me peoples it had to be done - we all need a bit of sunshine yellow and laughter in our lives at some point!**

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Effy hadn't been surprised to find the house empty when she had returned that evening, she had prepared herself for two possible scenarios her mind not quite able to settle on which one she would return to.

Scenario one would be Naomi home and shut off probably with a bottle of whiskey and something to try and distract her a bit but ultimately she would likely be regretting the decision that she had made to move forwards, still trying to convince herself that it was the right thing to do.

Scenario two would be Naomi absent from the home they shared, more than likely with Cook getting drunk, getting high and getting blisters from the dancing that she would partake in and quite probable that she would push her limits and pass out meaning that Effy was unlikely to see her again until the morning or afternoon and Cook was going to have to miss out on getting laid so he could take care of her. This brought a smirk to Effy's face, Cook always said that he would always take one for the team, knowing that's not exactly what Cook had been attempting to imply when he mentioned it so frequently.

Effy almost preferred scenario two where Naomi would go out and get trashed and crash out somewhere safe. She would leave Cook and Naomi to look out for one another, and get on with sorting the house out, getting ready to move. She hated being the responsible one Naomi may be a clean freak but lately she was hopeless at doing it before it got too bad, it was almost a last ditch attempt to save the house from toxic waste status half the time. If everything was left to Naomi lately it would be inhabitable!

Shoving her iPod into the dock she pressed shuffle and then started the task of packing up the lounge, smiling at every item and photo she put aside to be sorted out later, the task brought back happier memories of when the gang had all been together before the shit had hit the fan.

There were a couple of photos that sparked specific memories in her mind. One where she was stood next to Panda with her outrageously bright clothes which were almost always in complete contrast to her beloved blacks greys and silvers that she was notorious for wearing. Another photo from Panda's sleepover brought a geekish smile to her face, the 5 of them dressed in those ridiculous homemade pyjamas that bore labels of sexy poo and brainy poo. Obviously taken before Panda's mum had gotten high and passed out on the MDMA party brownies, Panda had locked herself in the bathroom and Katie's wanker of a boyfriend Danny arrived with all his football buddies.

That photo was a keeper and would definitely be packed in a box to head to their new home without a second thought, although it would be hard for Naomi to have photos of Emily about Effy knew it was essential and would play an important part of her dealing with it and overcoming it rather than burying it all deep inside, something she suspected she would do without Effy there to prompt her otherwise. Also your past was important, without it what drunken stories would you have to tell!

Naomi had indeed turned up the following day bleary eyed and unbelievably grouchy, she had grunted what Effy presumed was supposed to be a greeting and had headed upstairs to sleep some more. Effy had checked on her a couple of times and had smiled at the way Naomi had completely cocooned herself in the covers, if it weren't for the light snores coming from the bundle of covers she would have more than likely had to prod Naomi to make sure she was still alive in there.

The day for Naomi had pretty much been a write off, when she did finally rise from her pit it was almost dark and she still felt completely drained and exhausted, the night was a complete blur, she felt they were often the best kinds though. She was sure Cook would take pleasure in slowly but deliberately dropping hints at what a fool she had made of herself.

Rather than head out for another round of Keith's and clubs with Cook, Naomi decided to spend the evening with Effy sorting out all the stuff in the house and packing up the stuff they wanted to keep at Gina's or take with them whilst they listened to some music and just generally relaxed for the evening.

'What about this one?' Effy questioned with a raised eyebrow whilst raising an adoringly cute picture of a young Naomi looking up at the camera holding a protest sign above her head whilst being carried off by a security guard.

'God, I had forgotten about that one, my first protest! I couldn't wait to go with mum she was so pleased when I kicked a lab technician in the shin as she was being carted off. Yeah keep it but only because I look super cool' Naomi replied with a twinkle in her eye clearly mentally drifting back to that day as if it were only yesterday.

'You're holding a sign, wearing a poncho, in the rain and being dragged off by some burly security guard! Care to explain just how exactly that makes you super cool? Effy queried and added air quotes around super cool purely for the dramatic effect.

'Hey I was doing my bit to save those poor animals! Just ask thumper I bet he would have appreciated all my hard work!'

'I doubt it, not unless he popped out of Bambi, got kidnapped and was being used by those corporate pigs to test their latest make up products on' Effy smirked over at the blonde knowing she had her beat, in truth the photo was adorable and pretty darn cool. How many people could claim such an act to their name also at such a young age and also it demonstrated the beginning of the woman before her with her unwavering political views and passion to fight for them, though now she had a habit of throwing her shoes at them rather than kicking them in the shins. Despite that there was no way Effy was going to admit that she thought it was pretty cool, not when she had a prime opportunity to outwit Naomi again!

Effy watched bemused as Naomi opened and closed her mouth trying to build a reply and just frowned as the photo was waved in her face by a rather smug looking Effy who then dropped the photo into the box which contained the stuff they would take with them.

'You know, it's times like these that I hate you, you insufferable know it all. No wonder you got accepted to study psychology!' Naomi mused frustrated at Effy's ability to get one over on her once more.

Effy waved her hand dismissively 'I'm just doing that for the narcotics Naomes, think of them right there within my grasp' she reached her hand out and grasped at the air in front of her and sighed dramatically as her fingers closed around nothing pulling her clenched fist back to her chest.

'Also someone needs to be there to psychoanalyse the gang when they all go bonkers - Cook will be there for being a sex addict and you'll be there to for some rehab for your alcohol addiction, speaking of which fancy a beer?' she winked as she dashed out the room narrowly avoiding the pillow that was flung at her retreating form.

Walking back in the room with a beer in each hand Effy glanced over at Naomi who was hunched over the iPod dock clearly searching for a song she liked. As Metrics - Gold Guns and Girls opening guitar riff began to spill from the speakers she simply raised an eyebrow at the blonde before taking a large gulp from her bottle and then dropping them both down on the table, grabbed Naomi's hands pulling her towards her and started dancing as stupidly as possible to the music swaying her hips from side to side as she sang along with the song.

Naomi just stood there completely shocked at Effy, it was rare she was in such a good mood, and something told Naomi it wasn't an all natural good mood, she mused wondering if she could get a hold of whatever Effy had taken, quickly after dismissing the thought as she joined in dancing around the living room with Effy a genuine smile plastered on her face. Effy was a good friend, a best friend and Naomi felt honoured to be able to call her that, she had stuck with the blonde through her best times and her worst and not once judged her for the decisions she made, however foolish they may be.

The pair both reached for their beers and clinked the necks together with flare as they continued to move in time to the next tune that blared from the speakers

'To university' Effy voiced

'To drinking' retorted Naomi with a devious smirk on her face

'To narcotics' Effy replied as she pulled a spliff from her cleavage and waved it at Naomi

'If you think putting it there is going to stop me smoking it, the your mistaken love' Naomi added

'Thought didn't cross my mind Naomes, I always knew you were a breast girl' she chuckled as she lit up and took a drag before passing it across to Naomi who's eyes were wide with shock and had completely stopped dancing. Effy had to actually wave the spliff in front of her face before Naomi snapped out of it and took the offered item. She shouldn't have been surprised at the comment made but it was completely out of the blue and unexpected but so very Effy to be so bold.

It's safe to say the rest of the evening passed in somewhat of a blur and ended with both parties considerably drunk and more than happy, an evening that had started out as being a quiet and relaxing in comparison to the last few nights. The evening had ended in the pair doing shots and prancing about the room in the sombrero's that had once been worn by Naomi and Emily as they celebrated their first night in their house together and nearly set light to themselves in the process.

It was odd but when Naomi was around Effy it was easier, the pair had developed a bond much unlike anything they had experienced before. The hole left behind by Emily was still there, though it was as though someone had stemmed the flow of blood from the open wound and Naomi felt as though she had a weight lifted from her, someone to share the burden with rather than another person she had to hide from.

Around Effy Naomi could be herself she wouldn't have to hide or pretend to be okay she didn't feel the need to either. She didn't feel like moping around all the time like a lost puppy, she could push aside her pain and enjoy life and each day, one day at a time it would get easier. That was why they had decided to leave together; they were good for each other a safe place to come home to where they could be themselves.

The next few days passed quickly with the rest of the house being packed up and now a clean-up mission was needed before the keys were to be handed back to the landlord. One of the downsides of the many enjoyable nights spent at Naomi's by the gang were the marks that it had left around the house. The result being that in the living room repainting was needed and some serious elbow grease required on those bits that couldn't be touched up around the rest of the house.

Fortunately Gina and Kieran were back and both were set to work with operation clean-up. Naomi and Effy each grabbed a paintbrush each and thrust a bowl of cleaning products at Kieran and Gina before poking their tongues out and dashing from the room as their laughter echoed down the hall at the cursed 'fecking hell' that had been voiced by Kieran when he had opened the bathroom door. The room itself was relatively clean however the door handle had come clean off in his hand as he had pulled the door open which had result in Gina chucking away as she watched Kieran struggle to get the handle back in place with more muttered curses under his breath as each minute passed away with no success. Gina finally took pity on him and grasped the handle jamming it back in place without any hesitation and then abruptly turning and carrying on with cleaning the kitchen.

Back in the lounge Naomi and Effy were giving the walls a once over. A result of removing the many posters and articles that had been blue tacked on the walls in addition to the many other marks that adorned the walls. However as it often happened when people were painting together, more paint ended up on each other than it did on the walls.

Naomi shrieked as Effy slapped her paintbrush along her arm leaving a thick trail of paint behind. 'Oh you're so going to pay for that one!'

Naomi dipped her own brush into the pot and flicked it at Effy leaving a splatter of paint across her face and torso as her mouth opened in shock, before looking down at her to check out the massive yellow stripe that was splashed across her black band t-shirt.

Naomi laughed manically as she dipped her brush again and added a second splash of colour almost parallel to the first whilst Effy still stood their shocked.

'I look like a fucking bumble bee' Effy whined whilst shifting her weight on to her right foot and jammed her hands on her hips as she scowled at Naomi who couldn't quite get her breathing under control due to the hilarity of the situation.

As Naomi doubled over to try and catch her breath resting her hands on her knees Effy took the opportunity to dip her own brush into the paint and then swipe her dripping brush across Naomi's chest as she rose from her laughing fit with a devilish smirk across her face. A raised eyebrow was issued in challenge as if to say "come on is that all you've got" to which both girls jabbed their brushes at each other trying to cover as much skin as possible with the yellow paint whilst laughing with each other.

Losing the battle with Effy, Naomi swung around with her eyes still half on Effy and her arm outstretched; she was shocked as she came into contact unexpectedly with something solid in front of her. Looking up she noticed her mum standing there with a furious look on her face as Naomi had literally slapped her around the face with the wet brush. The yellow in complete contrast to the red tinge that had set into Gina's cheeks however Naomi wasn't quite sure if it were from embarrassment or anger.

Behind her she could hear Effy's muffled sniggers that couldn't quite be silenced even though she had clamped her hand firmly over her mouth; she silently prayed that she would get a hold of herself as she felt Gina about ready to explode at them both like a volcano. Not quite sure how to act Naomi stood stock still blinking with a look that one would expect on a deer met with the bright beam from headlights as she waited for her mum to speak, or possibly explode.

A pale hand reached up and wiped the paint on Gina's face as she took in the state of the pair in front of her, as much as she wanted to be angry at them for prating about she had to admit that it was pretty funny and they had done a good job on one another. Pointing at the pot of paint and then the wall Gina made a suggestion to both girls 'you might find it better if the paint goes on the walls' before she turned and left the room but not before dipping two fingers in the paint and leaving the room without a second look.

Naomi and Effy just turned and looked at each other before bursting into laughter which only intensified as they heard Kieran's voice from the other room as Gina had clearly smothered the paint from her fingers across him also.

Deciding that they daren't encounter the wrath of Gina again the pair got on with painting the walls rather than each other and made swift work of it, they then made a start at cleaning up the splashes of paint which had landed on the windows and skirting boards by accident before they safely put the lid firmly on the paint pot and headed into the kitchen to grab a much needed and deserved cup of tea from Gina who seemed more than pleased with herself.

Glancing across at Kieran they could both see why as Gina had clearly written 'dick' on his forehead in yellow paint to which Kieran seemed to have forgotten about as he sat at the table drinking as he done a double take upon seeing the paint covered teens in front of him.

'Bloody hell, you two look like blue bird threw up on you' Gina chuckled as Naomi gave Kieran the two fingered salute before hopping up on the kitchen counter and pulling her tea to her blowing on it gently to cool it slightly before taking a sip appreciatively.

Effy on the other hand just shrugged and leaned against the door frame in a familiar stance before pulling her hands into her view and picking away at the paint that covered her finger nails.

'So when are you girls off then' questioned Gina before taking a sip of her own drink.

Effy just looked at Naomi, they hadn't actually decided on when they were going to leave, however they were able to move in anytime from Monday onwards. Naomi had wanted to get there early and be unpacked and settled before they had to actually attend any academic related activities and possibly even check out the local bars or clubs to get a feel for the place. Having not discussed this Naomi and Effy just shrugged at one another which earned them an audible 'tsk' from Gina who clearly through they should be more organised than they were.

The truth was that it didn't really matter when they left whether it be tomorrow or next week the important bit was that they were going, a new life and a new start with their friendship strong and their past behind them. Now was the time to move forwards and learn to live again for them both.

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**So you'll have to forgive me, I know someone had Naomi throwing a shoe in their story but for the life of me I can't remember who it was, so yeah credit goes to whoever that was for that one.**

**Also I know the lounge at Naomi's house was actually wallpapered yellow but you'll have to forgive me for that one, a paint fight is almost traditional before leaving a rented place as I always end up having to touch up at least one room.**

**As always please feel free to leave a review whether you think I'll like it or not - it will always be appreciated.**


	5. Chapter 5

**So I was severely hung over today but last night was a blast though oddly I came home smelling like a guy =/ as my drinking buddy last night wore way too much aftershave and loves to hug people when drunk - the big gay! Also I totally ruined my white flip flops! I don't know what possessed me to think it was a good idea to go out in them – oh yeah I was planning on skipping out early and not staying late lol like that was ever going to happen!**

**Anyway enough rambling! Here goes...**

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Chapter 5

The first few months of university had passed in a blur; well make that a drunken blur and when not drunk there was the hangover, absolutely no rest for the wicked so more often than not the days went from get up and go do those things they call lectures and then from there straight to the pub for a 'hair of the dog' to cure the hangover, or just get started on creating the next one.

It was surreal being here for Naomi, being away from Bristol a place that was so familiar to her and moving to a new city, a new start. Manchester, the city of...well... rain mostly as Naomi had quickly discovered, and she hated umbrellas so she more often than not would turn up to lectures not only feeling like shit but also completely soaked. But on the other hand who cared about rain when there were so many awesome places to get drunk and high in this city? And there were plenty of places to obtain any drug of your choice.

On the rare occasion when there was sunshine there were amazing places to just chill out like Piccadilly Gardens, which was a great place to just sit and enjoy the sunshine with a drink and some smokes. Often you would get street dancers there or some other form of entertainment be it a band or a lonely old man and his dog playing for cash to buy his next bottle of booze. Plus it allowed Naomi to partake in one of her favourite past times - people watching something she used to do with Emily as they would giggle and laugh at the people around them.

With her IPod playing through her headphones much louder than was necessary Naomi stared aimlessly around at the hustle and bustle around her, watching the many people rushing about back and forth from shop to shop or on their way to or from work. Rushing, everyone rushed here and that was why she liked it so much. Because if you were always rushing you didn't have time to stop and think too much and dwell on the past, to remember what it was she had left behind, her friends her mum and Kieran because even though she would never admit it she loved her mum and she did think that Kieran was pretty darn cool. Plus what other step dad could you find that would share a spliff and a bottle of Jack with you?

The problem was that it was inevitable; a flash of vibrant red was all it took to bring the memories crashing back down on her, smothering her new life with their chains locked firmly around her heart. Try as she might months in she still couldn't let Emily go completely even though she had vowed to move on that day at the park. That little bit of hope lingered that maybe just maybe there would be a chance again someday.

But the thought was stupid and childish, Naomi hadn't even told Emily that she had applied to the Metropolitan University, Emily had only known about Goldsmiths, no one knew about MMU well obviously except for Effy and Cook. The chances of her seeing Emily again were slim to none and Emily had never mentioned any universities outside of the South of England before so she was kidding herself.

Rummaging around in her satchel she checked her phone - no new messages - Effy must still be working on her assignment. It was odd how the roles had reversed so dramatically. Naomi had always been the one to be bookish and geeky when it came to academic matters and now Effy had taken that role whilst Naomi's days went by with little care for anything. Although she had moved on with her life it just felt empty and incomplete, it was only really when she was around Effy that she felt like her old self, quick witted and with a wicked tongue that could bat sarcasm, insults and jibes back and forth with one another with very little effort.

Effy who also like Cook seemed to have a knack for making Naomi smile with hardly any effort at all, although thankfully both had different methods of making her smile - it would be a little disconcerting if Naomi heard 'Grab my balls' in Effy's sexy voice from down the hall.

Pulling her long sleeve back to check the time she felt her eyes drawn to the healed white lines that interrupted the milky white skin that covered her forearm. She knew before she done them that she would in some way regret them later, they were hers for life but they weren't a mistake to her, they had helped her through a difficult time and she knew at some point in her own twisted way she would wear them with pride. But for now she wasn't ready for that, the only way to hide them was to suffocate in her long sleeves or just learn to brush of the looks and questions that were posed to her.

She had been foolish not long after Emily had first gone, reckless and hungry for more, they had been necessary to distract her and let her feel something. However the other problem was that it became addictive and she found herself thinking up any excuse to justify doing it. Seeing a shock of red hair across the bar or a petite attractive girl with brown eyes you could get lost in, anything that she could use as an excuse to pick up her trusty blade and create her own artwork across her skin.

Tugging her sleeve back down she shook herself from her thoughts. Things had changed, Naomi didn't need it anymore and she could ignore the addiction when she felt particularly low or sorry for herself, she didn't need it anymore. Things might not be perfect but piece by piece she was building a new life and she didn't want harming to be a part of it, not anymore it reminded her too much of Emily the blazing red too close to the familiar colour of that beautiful silky hair that she longed to run her fingers though.

She had vowed that she wouldn't do it again, her last act with her trust penknife was to carve her mark from the tree and even now months on from then she had been strong and not picked it up or even carried it with her it was safely tucked away in her bedroom in its resting place.

Gathering her stuff from the floor she slipped her satchel over her shoulder and started the trek back home by foot her pace set by the music blaring in her ears.

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'Honey I'm home' she chorused as she stepped over the threshold smiling at her own joke as she roughly pulled her headphones from her ears and threw them on the table along with her keys. She was met with silence... 'Effy?' she questioned again just in case she hadn't been heard the first time.

Effy stepped out from the doorway that lead to the lounge pale faced and with a stony expression 'Jesus who died' Naomi joked but apparently that had been the wrong thing to say as Effy's eyes dropped to the floor guiltily before she raised her head back and stared determinedly into Naomi's eyes ignoring the pounding of her heartbeat in her ears and her desire to run from the situation.

Naomi just stood there she felt numb; Effy didn't need to voice it she could see it written all over her face, something terrible had happened. She felt lightheaded an unnatural humming noise drowned out all other sounds around her as she reached a hand out to the wall to steady herself.

Effy took a deep breath and moved towards Naomi who took a step back to keep the distance between them. 'Naomes' she begged her voice breaking just a little bit, she pleaded with her eyes to get Naomi to let her close, but Naomi just slowly shook her head. Effy sighed and drew another breath; she began to recite to Naomi what she herself had been told upon answering the phone...

_Earlier that day..._

Effy answered the phone to be met with a very serious voice...

'Please may I speak with Miss Naomi Campbell?'

'No sorry she's at a lecture is there anything I can do or can I take a message?'

'Are you Miss Effy Stonem?'

'Yeah'

'This is Police Constable Avery from Avon and Somerset Constabulary. I'm sorry to have to inform you that Ms Gina Campbell and her partner Kieran were involved in a road traffic accident earlier this morning.'

It felt as though her heart had stopped...she couldn't quite comprehend the words being said to her down the phone. Why were they telling her this?

Not able to voice any of the questions silently buzzing around her brain she remained stoic listening as the officer continued.

'Kieran is currently in a critical state in intensive care following surgery but I'm afraid that Ms Campbell was killed upon impact, I'm very sorry for your loss.'

Her world collapsed this was some sort of sick and twisted joke. Not Gina, anyone but Gina, Gina Campbell with her huge warm and loving heart who had been like a second mother to her ever since she had lived with Naomi, even though she wasn't a mother in a physical presence sense she had always been there and they had stayed in regular contact. Effy had sworn to Gina that she would take care of Naomi and vice versa, they were practically like sisters to one another now. Together they would keep one another safe, it was a level of security that wasn't needed in truth but it was a comfort none the less to Gina.

She vaguely heard the officer continue talking but she couldn't hear him or take in anything being said to her, it was like she had gone temporarily deaf. He had said something about a drunk driver who lost control on the motorway and how she had been listed as next of kin along with Naomi. Then some information about what would happen next.

She had hung up the phone without realising it her body acting on autopilot as her mind tried to race at the speed of light and shutdown all at the same time, she felt as though she was going to self combust. How was she going to tell Naomi? How does anyone tell someone their parent was dead?

'God' she said to no one but herself as she sank onto the sofa behind her. This would destroy Naomi she had a good relationship with her mother now, she loved her dearly, they were meant to be going back to Bristol in a couple of weeks when they had a break in term to spend time with her mum and Kieran and catch up with Cook. Kieran... God poor Kieran not out of the woods yet please god let him be okay she thought.

Naomi wasn't listening, she wasn't listening to Effy tell her that her mother had been in an accident she wasn't listening to anything except the pounding in her ears of her racing heart beat. Her vision began to blur, as her heart beat increased tenfold she began to sway on her feet everything seemed to move in slow motion as she staggered a little bit raising a hand out in front of her to stop Effy from moving hastily towards her in concern etched across her face.

She felt droplets of water running down her cheeks her breath coming in short sharp bursts; she couldn't get her breathing under control despite everything around her moving in slow motion everything inside her was racing. She swayed once more but this time she didn't steady herself as she fell to the floor a loud slapping noise echoing through the hallway as her body bounced a little upon impact.

Instantly Effy rushed to Naomi and heaved her onto her back swiping the blonde hair from her face and checking to see if she was conscious. Fear spread through her as she realised that she wasn't she gently shook Naomi almost hysterically calling her name the volume increasing with each proclamation until she was practically shouting her name at the unconscious body.

She tried but to no avail to heave Naomi's body off the floor and get her into the lounge on the sofa, wasn't there supposed to be some crazy levels of adrenaline that were meant to kick in about now turning you into wonder woman? She couldn't lift the blonde so she settled for pulling her head into her lap and stroking the blonde hair begging her to return to consciousness.

Naomi didn't keep her waiting long as her eyelids fluttered open slowly and unsure. She chocked back a sob almost instantly as everything came rushing back to her. Covering her hands over her face she began to shake as her tears consumed her.

Effy heaved Naomi into a sitting position and buried her head in the crook of her neck as she felt Naomi's body wrack, breaking just a little bit more with each sob that left her lips.

'Oh Naomes I'm so sorry babe so very sorry' she whispered in her ear crooning softly at her as she stroked her hand across the back of her neck and rested twiddling with the hair at the nape of her neck trying to comfort the blonde though there was nothing she could say that would help, she wished she could say everything would be alright but the truth was right now it wouldn't be okay, it couldn't and there was no point in telling Naomi a lie that wasn't going to make her feel better. Nothing was okay she didn't know how you dealt with something like this, it was one of those things that you couldn't comprehend or understand unless you had experienced it yourself and even then it wasn't always possible as everyone was different.

Effy done the only thing she could she held the blonde as tight as possible nothing more nothing less.

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**Coolbeans17, what was it you said about wanting more angst? I feel bad for doing this I really do, please don't hate me!**


	6. Chapter 6

**So Sorry for taking so long to update again, I know I'm shit – also sorry I feel really bad for killing Gina off, it seemed like a good idea at the time but now I feel like uber guilty and wish I could miraculously resurrect her but what's done is done, there's no going back people! For what it's worth I never intended on really writing many scenes with her in? Not buying it? Not me neither!**

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Arranging the funeral had been hell. If Effy hadn't been there for her Naomi didn't think she would have been able to do it. There were so many stupid things to think about like picking the songs that would be played and arranging notices in the paper and contact all of Gina's _many_ loving friends.

It had been so hard at first to tell someone that Gina had died, ridiculously hard to say...almost like voicing it, speaking it aloud made it real even though in her brain she realised it was truly real her heart just didn't want to admit it. In the end Effy had taken over and Naomi was more than grateful it was just another thing she owed her thanks for.

As for Kieran he had pulled through however he was still in hospital and wasn't likely to be let out any time soon. But Naomi was glad he was okay even though he probably wished he was dead, sometimes she wished that herself.

The day of the funeral had arrived quickly.

Naomi was dressed standing in the living room staring into a picture of her and her mother together a happy memory of them together doing something that they both loved. There weren't that many of those memories, far less than she wished now. Naomi had become such an angry teen and her mother had taken in so many strangers that their relationship in younger years had been strained and as a result there weren't many pieces of photographic evidence of their relationship. But you expect to be able to make up for that in later life, not to have your mum taken form you at such a young age.

Life shouldn't have regrets and Naomi's seemed to be stacking up. Regrets about her mum, about Emily about the many other stupid and foolish things she had done from her childhood. Like the time she had tried to be smart and was messing about on a shopping trolley whilst her mum was shopping for what seemed like hours. Only to have the trolley flip up and her arm slip between the bars and snap. To make matters worse Gina just stood there laughing whilst her daughter was pinned under the trolley exceptionally red faced! Yes many regrets but at least now she could look back upon some of them with a smile and others well they still nearly brought her to tears just too fresh and raw to be humorous, she wondered if they ever would be looked at with a light hearted view.

Shaking her head from her memories she traced a finger gently across the glass where her mothers face resided behind. Loosely held in her hand was a tall flute filled with alcohol, apparently it was popular to offer a drink to guests at a wake who had come to pay their respect to the infamous Gina Campbell. Although the service was not traditional per se many of the common traditions would be upheld such as the tradition of a gathering afterwards where you can all mourn and celebrate her life together, or just get drunk in some peoples case.

Another tradition was black, Naomi herself decided to rebel against the tradition of wearing black to the funeral, instead she wore a beautifully tailored white suit, she would represent light at the funeral she felt that her mum would like it that way even if Naomi herself didn't feel like a light at all.

Effy would be the Yin to Naomi's Yang wearing her common black attire, they were completely in contrast to one another, there to support one another. Well more to support Naomi than anything.

'Naoms' Effy questioned hesitantly not wanting to disturb the blonde from her thoughts but at the same time having no choice.

'It's time...the cars are here'

Naomi turned no trace of a tear in her eyes for she had none left to cry. She would exist through the next few hours in a dream like state, thanking people as they bestowed upon her their regret and sadness for her loss at how someone so bright had been taken so early, she would shake hands and even accept the offered hugs from those who were close enough to her and she would fulfil her duty.

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The funeral had been respectful even the naked guy had given Gina the honour of donning clothes, Naomi was glad he had, she wasn't sure some of the guests would have reacted well to the spectacle of a pair of naked buttocks strolling around casa del Campbell.

Effy stared across at Naomi, once again poised in a similar position to that which she had found her earlier, however this time the glass that had been in her hand had been replaced with a bottle of jack but as before she was staring once again at the photos, in hope that no one would speak with her because she was exhausted, tired of saying thank you to what felt like a billion people. She was tired of smiling a fake smile; she was tired of it all she just wanted to be left alone - no more strangers.

Raising the bottle to her lips she took a long swig enjoying the burn as the amber liquid trailed down her throat, and then she saw it, a flash of red. At first believed it was a figment of her imagination; it wouldn't have been the first time. Often in a bar or just out walking in the street she would see it and she would turn instantly only to be disappointed in her findings.

Today she almost lacked the energy to turn instinctively to see if it was Emily however she did so anyway once again operating on auto pilot.

Her breath hitched in her chest, her heart skipped a beat and then began to race. The rhythmic beat had been replaced with a constant pounding of her name in her ears over and over again _Emily Emily Emily Emily, r_epeated over and over again relentlessly pulsing through her veins spreading like wildfire.

What was she doing here? Emily wasn't supposed to be here! Although obviously it occurred to her that Emily may have changed her plans from when they had talked about and planned to travel. All Naomi could think between the beating of her name in her heart was not now, anytime but now, she just couldn't deal with it not all at once, not today. She had longed to see Emily so often she sometimes had trouble distinguishing in her head what was memories and what was fantasy.

Despite trying not to she found her eyes drawn to the redhead. It seemed she had changed very slightly, though at the moment Naomi couldn't quite tell if they were changes for the better or not. Her hair appeared brighter a true cherry red but maybe that was just because Naomi felt that everything else in her life had existed in greyscale lately, like all the colour had been sucked out of it.

Naomi caught herself staring at the vibrant redhead across the room, she just couldn't stop herself, as much as she consciously tried to pull her gaze away she found herself drawn back to Emily. Sighing angrily at herself she muttered an audible 'fuck sake' before turning her back on the red head and storming away in the direction of Cook safe in the knowledge that he would more than likely have something to take her mind of the current Emily predicament she had herself in.

Walking over to Cook she caught his eye sight and pulled her head in a sharp jab to the side signalling for him to follow her out into the kitchen...he followed like a lost puppy would follow their master.

'Naomikins give Cookie a hug babes' reaching his arms out wide he stepped forward to hug her but hesitated upon the look on her face dropping his arms slowly to his side and then shoving them forcefully in his pockets sheepishly.

'So...how you holdin' up babes?' he asked hesitantly to which he just received a stone cold stare in return.

Completely ignoring his question Naomi got straight to the point 'I need something Cook, something to take the edge off'

Cook hesitated not sure how to respond 'not today Naoms seriously babes you shouldn't plus you're out of luck Cookies all out.' He had a smug expression on his face in an attempt to support his statement.

'Fuck sake Cook just give me something...anything' she pleaded almost desperately frustration evident in her voice. 'You're never all out so don't give me that shit Cook!'

She felt herself falling apart it was all getting too much, she needed something just to take the edge off a little and she had nothing. Effy had been exceptionally astute, watching her every move since they had got back to Bristol though it wouldn't be obvious to anyone, anyone except Naomi of course, the pair of them had become so close that they could both read each other so easily. However right now that meant that Effy had kept Naomi clean, she had been denied anything stronger than a spliff and right now a spliff just wouldn't cut it.

'Cook, fucking look at me!' she proclaimed angrier, her voice increasing in pitch slightly with her rising frustration.

Cook had retracted his hands from his pockets and crossed them over his chest almost protectively as he leaned against the wall his smug expression still plastered over his face. This hadn't gone unnoticed by Naomi she had spotted the way he had protectively pulled his jacket around himself tighter, she dropped the bottle of jack on the table with a loud bang and sent Cook a smug look of her own as she tugged his hands from his chest and placed them firmly on her hips, Cook barely put up any resistance, just as she had expected.

Taking a step forwards she placed a hand on his chest and then moved her face in closer so that she could whisper in his ear 'Cook, you know I love you right' she purred seductively knowing this would distract Cook long enough to allow her to reach inside his inner jacket pocket and remove a bag of white powder. She pulled back with a sad yet satisfied expression on her face as she waved the bag in front of Cooks face, grabbed the bottle of jack from the table in one swift movement and then left the house as quickly as possible before anyone could stop her.

Naomi didn't have the energy to go much further than the green opposite her mum's house on the count of not having slept a lot recently. It wasn't that she wasn't tired, she was completely exhausted but she just couldn't seem to switch her brain off thinking about Gina, about Emily about everything all at once. Surely it wasn't possible for one person to feel all this at once?

Not caring that she was wearing white she dropped down on to the grass and pulled her knees into her chest and hugged them close. She just wanted to forget right now, seeing Emily had just been too much on top of everything else today. She looked at the bag of white powder clutched within her grasp, she didn't know what it was but then she didn't much care either. Cook was unlikely to have brought bad drugs and he certainly would have stopped from taking them if he had concerns. She wondered what had possessed him to bring them to the funeral, did he really know her that well? Dismissing the thought she opened the bag, spread the powder over her gums and sat back waiting for the high to take her over.

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Effy had seen the whole exchange, but had decided that if she had tried to prevent it then it would have just made a scene. Cook had looked directly at her as if to ask 'should I stop her' but Effy had just shook her head. Naomi would be okay.

Plus Effy hadn't been the only one watching the exchange. Emily's eyes may have well have been glued to the blonde since she had caught sight of her. Between Naomi and Emily there had been nothing but stolen glances and Effy was impressed neither had managed to not notice one another. To Effy both had failed miserably at being sly about their obvious interest in each another, an elephant running through the room would have been more discrete in her opinion.

If Emily was able to shoot fire from her eyes then Cook would be a pile of ash, he would have been set alight with the death stare sent his way when Emily had seen Naomi step in so close and sexily whisper in his ear before taking something from Cook. She whispered something to the person standing next to her and then headed for the back door hoping to follow Naomi in her footsteps but before she reached the door her path had been blocked.

'Emily... so good to see you' Effy stated sarcastically raising one eyebrow so her expression mirrored her tone of voice which was so eerily fake, even a blind man didn't need to see the look in her eyes to know that it was forced and in no way was Effy actually pleased to see her. 'You look miserable' She added after her greeting, her eyebrow still raised.

'It's a fucking funeral who wouldn't look miserable' Emily replied crossing her arms over her chest and shifting her weight on to one foot, irate that she had been thwarted in her attempt to follow the blonde, and also in retaliation to the greeting she had received herself.

'hmmm' was the only reply Effy had given... she had that look, the all knowing look that could look right through you and see what was written on the inside of your skull. It was ridiculously unnerving and Emily changed her stance feeling uncomfortable under the stare of those vibrant blue eyes, which portrayed anger within their icy blue depths.

'What are you doing here anyway' Effy questioned her eyes drifting off Emily and into the distance behind her.

'I've come to pay my respect to Gina' Emily replied quickly, what other reason could she possibly have to be here? She had after all been considerably close to Gina before everything had gone tits up so it didn't seem all that unreasonable to be here. But to Effy her response had been too quick as thought it had been rehearsed in her head over and over again.

'let me re-phrase that...what's _she _doing here?' Effy motioned with raised eyes to behind Emily where standing was none other than Mandy, who Effy's eyes had been burning a hole in.

Emily didn't even need to turn around to understand who Effy was talking about. She had expected that Mandy's presence here wouldn't go down well however she hadn't really had any say in the matter. It had been part of the agreement of Emily being here and being able to say farewell to Gina and remember and rejoice all the wonderful things about her. But obviously she wasn't going to tell Effy.

'She's here for me' it was a simple answer close enough to the truth to be plausible but again for Effy just a little too quick and a little too automatic that it didn't feel real.

Effy's gaze didn't waver and that alone would have caused anyone to crumble under the blue eyed unrelenting stare however add to that the fact that Emily knew almost instantly that her blatant lie hadn't been bought she almost began to physically squirm as Effy appeared to be waiting for a truthful answer and Emily had no intention to tell Effy the truth, so instead decided upon changing the subject.

'So...how's things? Katie mentioned you were at Uni now?' If she was honest she didn't really give a crap about the answer she just wanted to take the pressure off of herself. Katie had mentioned something to her about Effy leaving for Uni, she hadn't really paid attention but was glad she had remembered at least that to try and distract the infuriating brunette in front of her.

'Good. When did you get back?' a one word answer and then bang turn it back around straight at Emily, so typical of Effy to realise what Emily had been trying to do and not give her a chance to move onto a safer topic of conversation. Emily had used to love watching people squirm under Effy's skill but it wasn't so much fun being on the returning end of it.

'A few days ago' Emily replied honestly but gave away no more than that even though she was still under Effy's unyielding gaze.

They had arrived back in Bristol only 3 days ago having cut their travelling short for a number of reasons one of the major ones being cash. It turned out that Mandy wasn't such a great travelling companion and hadn't been particularly good on the cash aspect, well...or any aspect for that matter and the result was that they had decided to cut it short and use their return flight earlier than expected. Emily was glad to be back, travelling hadn't been all it was cut out to be and she missed Bristol not that she would ever admit it. She missed Katie, her dad, she missed her friends and all the comforts she had been accustomed to. She even missed Jenna and that was saying something.

Sadly it was only when you lost something or had it taken away from you that realised just how much it meant to you in the first place, and just how much you had taken it for granted.

It was being completely cut off from Naomi that had made Emily realise just how much she had missed her. The truth was that when she had still lived in Bristol she had been full of rage at the blonde. She hadn't been able to move past Sofia and hadn't had the opportunity to miss her because she was filled with fury the whole time.

Effy had noticed that ever since they had been talking Emily's eyes kept drifting to the back of the room where she had watched Naomi disappear to only minutes ago. She decided she wasn't going to make this any easier on Emily having not forgiven her for what she had done to Naomi, for the mess she had left behind without a care. In fact whether or not Emily had wanted to pay her respect to Gina Effy was shocked that Emily had the balls to walk into this house after everything she had done.

Sensing that all wasn't well in paradise she decided to go for a killer blow straight away with no hesitation...

'Mandy not as great as she first appeared to be then' it was blunt and straight to the point, like a slap in the face and being called out on something far too close to the truth so unexpectedly meant that Emily didn't know how to react. She just stood there stock still and silent. A sparkle appeared in Effys eyes she took enjoyment in the distress a few simple words had caused. Deciding that now was an opportune moment she added further insult to injury...

'Well I had better go, better go check on Naomi. Lovely to see you Emily.' She flashed a fake smile that was more pleased with her own skill than actual pleasure at seeing Emily then turned and walked in the same direction that Naomi had not even waiting for a response. She had also used the same fake cheery tone that she had used to greet Emily to dismiss her making it clear that it had been anything but lovely to see her.

She had mixed feelings about what she had just done, perhaps Emily had been here to make amends or to apologise to Naomi but it wasn't the right time and she didn't think Naomi could deal with it so had made the decision for her friend. Naomi could be mad at her later but right now she needed her.

Walking out onto the green Effy sat down next to Naomi and wrapped an arm around her pulling the bottle from her and taking a swig herself as they both sat there silently gazing upon the yellow house that shone just a little bit too bright on such a dull day.

They would sit there for some time, watching the many guests leave including watching Emily and Mandy leave, Emily who once again hadn't been able to draw her eyes from the blonde and seemed somewhat jealous of the closeness between the pair with brilliant blue eyes sat huddled together on the green passing a bottle between them.

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**So I'm not really happy with this chapter my heads kind of distracted but I didn't want to leave you waiting any more.**

**Think it's okay / hate it? Let me know I won't bite...much haha =)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Big thank you to everyone that has reviewed / story alert etc you guys rock!**

**So you have been graced with the fortune that I had to go away for work today and spend 4 boring hours on a train giving me plenty of time to sit down and give this some much needed attention.**

**Makes a change for me not to keep you waiting for ages you lucky things or unlucky depends on how you look at it! =)**

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'What the fuck were you thinking Emily? Going to see that snarky blonde bitch after what she did to you' Katie was having a go at Emily…again, it seems odd that she always remembers what Naomi did but completely overlooks the fact that Emily fucked her over also.

"For fucks sake Katie, how many times do I have to tell you for you to get it into that thick skull of yours or did Effy really hit you that hard with that rock that one time" frustration evident as Emily's arms flapped at her side, someday maybe Katie would actually listen to what she said, maybe…if she were lucky.

"I went for Gina okay! You remember Gina that woman who was the only one to support me when I said I was gay! You know unlike _you_ or mum" she knew it was a bit of a low blow but Katie was getting on her tits and seemed unlikely to stop her relentless Naomi bashing any time soon.

"God Ems way to drag up the past I said I was sorry all right, anyway that was ages ago I don't care anymore" yeah okay Katie if you say so Emily thought, the only reason that she didn't care anymore was because they no longer ran in the same circles and that meant that Emily's personal life had no impact on hers anymore. It seemed completely pointless to actually mention this thought as it was more likely than not going to end up with Katie bitching at her yet again.

A verbal growl left Emily's lips as she stormed from the kitchen down the hall and straight out through the front door, slamming it with such force that the glass rattled slightly. Not only was she getting shit from Mandy but Katie too, all it would need was for Jenna to come along and top if off. What was it that they said bad things come in threes? Emily felt like she was approaching a multiple of 6 lately.

Ever since seeing Naomi again she just couldn't seem to get the blonde out of her head, Naomi had seemed like a shadow of her former self. The room had used to radiate when Naomi walked in, radiate with contempt and sarcasm maybe but radiate none the less but now she felt nothing it was dull and lifeless and to Emily that's the impression she had of Naomi now, she lacked that spark the twinkle in those bright blue eyes that she adored so much, it had been one of Emily's favourite features of the blonde but when she had seen her even from across the room they didn't feel alive right now.

Though maybe it was just because it was Gina's funeral? Yes sure that would be it of course she would be considerably upset I mean not exactly the greatest day of your life is it.

Emily toyed with the idea of going to see Naomi again, but what excuse would she have, after what she done it's not like she could just turn up on her doorstep and say 'Oh high sorry I fucked you over and stamped all over your heart all those months ago, just wanted to say hi and see if you fancied catching up over a coffee?' yeah right Emily, good thinking.

Plus exactly how would Emily explain what she had done, it was irrational and childish and not exactly deserved, pretty sure that the expression do on to others as they do onto you wasn't meant to have such a literal meaning. A part of Emily knew she needed to see Naomi even if it was just to apologise and offer her condolences over Gina, regardless of what had happened between them the truth was that she had been close to Gina and knew Naomi would be hurting and her selfless nature meant that she felt the need to comfort those in pain, even though her actions with Naomi had been selfish rather than selfless as of late.

Emily hadn't exactly been paying attention to where she had been walking just letting her feet carry her, it was a rare occasion of British sunshine where there a few white fluffy clouds in the sky the type you could look at and try to guess what the cloud looked like. Finally taking her surroundings in she realised she had walked to the park she used to frequent so much as a kid, memories flashed back to her of the time she used to spend here. She looked around at the swings and remember the time she and Katie had been having a competition of who could swing the highest and then jump the furthest at the peak. She had won of course, but at a cost as she cut her chin open needing stitches all because she didn't quite get her feet under her properly when landing and toppled over. She remembered her dad picking her up and carrying her all the way home Katie jogging behind grumbling and complaining that Emily was getting carried and she had to walk, typical Katie looking out for number one.

She looked around the rest of the park and saw the oak tree in the distance, remembered the times she had used to spend there with Naomi, it was like ice had filled her lungs, they had both hurt one another and with time comes wisdom, she regretted the fact that she had pushed Naomi away so harshly, despite what Naomi had done she had in her own way forgiven her but it wasn't forgotten. When she had left for Goa to travel she had still been so angry at Naomi and had taken pleasure from hurting Naomi and causing her the same pain that she felt herself, but then over time Emily had also realised that she had been cruel and she still had feelings for Naomi, she had wanted this experience with Naomi and without her it just didn't feel right.

Walking towards the tree she tried to pull herself back together, it was pointless working through such thoughts, she knew she couldn't take them back, if she had the ability to turn back time she would have done something, anything to stop Naomi from making the mistake with Sophia but she couldn't and they were all stuck with the decisions that they had made whether they be for better or for worse.

Getting closer to the tree she saw someone, a figure laying on the ground in the trees shadow, long slender legs encased in skinny jeans and a long sleeved grey cardigan wrapped around her as she lay there, arms crossed over her chest, eyes closed and blonde locks blowing slightly in the wind…Naomi.

Her heart hammered in her chest, the ice that had filled her lungs at her memories felt like it had turned to liquid as she drowned in the prospect of seeing let alone talking to Naomi. She hadn't been back here for a long time, not since they had broken up at least, she didn't know the blonde still visited this spot. It crossed her mind as to why Naomi would visit here; she wondered hopefully if maybe it was because it was a place that she felt close to Emily?

She was frozen some 10 meters away from her target not able to kick her body into gear and turn and run or move forwards, she was just stood there unmoving staring at the object of her thoughts and wondering what she should do, or just willing her body to do something rather than just go into complete and total shutdown.

Whilst thinking over her situation she couldn't help her eyes being drawn to Naomi, looking at the way that she laid, the way her arms were protectively wrapped around her waist, though she held no regard for her personal safety with her eyes closed laying under a tree in such a trusting manner. Anyone could walk up to her and she probably wouldn't have a clue.

Emily was still trying to decide if she should approach Naomi or leave without the blonde noticing her? Earlier she had been so eager to see Naomi but now that she was here in such close proximity to the blonde with no distractions and no interruptions she felt daunted at the idea of actually talking to her. It was like being a teen all over again, gazing at Naomi from afar stalking her with her eyes. She watched the steady rise and fall of Naomi's perfect breasts, felt a little bit mesmerised by those perfect peaks moving in time to her calm and level breathing.

She wasn't a coward anymore she knew she wanted to talk to Naomi and so she would, but it felt as though her body had been recently turned to stone as her muscles protested shakily at moving forwards towards her target.

Standing over Naomi casting a shadow, she took a deep breath and plucked up the courage 'Naomi' she questioned hesitantly angry at the nerves that could be heard in the shake of her voice, quickly before the blonde could open her eyes she crossed her arms over her chest in a mirror image to Naomi laying on the floor, this was mostly so that she could hide the fact that her palms were sweaty and shaking ever so slightly with nerves. It was like being a 14 year old Emily talking to her crush, but back then ironically she had been much better at this.

She watched Naomi as she cracked an eye open and then watched those familiar blue eyes open wide in shock, watched Naomi's mouth open a couple of times before she almost shrieked Emily's name at her followed by something muttered that Emily didn't quite catch, but she had the impression that it was probably something along the lines of 'fuck' or maybe even 'bollocks'. Hastily shuffling up into a seated position resting her back against the tree Naomi snuck her legs close to her chest and wrapped her arms tight around them.

'Do you mind' Emily questioned whilst pointing to the grass as if indicating that she wanted to take a seat next to the blonde. Naomi just shook her head to answer that it wasn't a problem; she didn't seem to quite trust her voice just yet, or maybe she just didn't trust herself to say something she would regret. Instead she shuffled over slightly making room for Emily to sit down next to her who instead of tucking her legs under her like Naomi had; she stretched them out in front of her crossing them at the ankles as she leant her back against the tree, careful not to touch Naomi in any way.

An awkward silence over took them both as they just sat there together in the shade like old times. But it was nothing like old times, or else they would have been huddled together touching each other whether it just be holding hands and tracing their thumbs over each other's hands in a lazy manner as they basked in the glow of the sunshine or resting their head on one another as they leaned in together to enjoy the view.

Naomi's heart had taken back up its erratic beating of Emily's name where there should have been a thud of her own heartbeat. She couldn't believe that of all the places she had chosen to get away from everything she would get interrupted by the exact thing that had been plaguing her thoughts. Typical for ages she longed to see Emily and now she got what she wanted and didn't know how to deal with it.

After Emily had left after the funeral she had eventually gone back inside to find familiar faces that she knew had stayed to comfort her. With all the strangers gone from her childhood home she began to relax slightly but that may have had more to do with the spliff that had been thrust into her hand the moment she had sat down. They toasted to Gina and then together all spent the evening just getting drunk and talking about old times with Cook being the life of the party as per usual.

Naomi liked it that way as it took the pressure off her, she could just sit back and let the conversation flow around her, she wasn't paying attention but laughed at all the right moments, and smiled sleepily when someone directed a grin her way, it was enough to fool everyone except maybe Effy and Cook but that didn't matter so much as they both understood. Her thoughts were wrapped up in Emily, Emily who had been here only hours ago, standing in this very living room with none other than Mandy. She hadn't seen her in the living room, after she had caught the flash of red nothing else registered in her mind except for getting the heck out of dodge as fast as possible, but she had seen them leave together so it seemed that she must have been here somewhere the whole time.

There was one question that was running through her mind on a repetitive loop why here why now and the more she thought about it the more wild the answers she came up with were, the more desperate they were to think that Emily had come for her. But then her brain would kick in and it would tell her that if she were here for you, she wouldn't have come with Mandy; it just didn't make sense so there must have been another reason.

'Sorry about your mum' Emily had finally broken the silence though it still felt suffocating 'I heard it was a car accident, a drunk driver or something' she added nervously not really sure if it was right to talk about it or not. Naomi had just nodded or maybe she had just dropped her head lower to rest on her knees Emily wasn't quite sure and decided to not push the issue remembering how stubborn and defensive Naomi would get if you pushed her too far.

A few more silent minutes passed with nothing but the kids in the park making a noise and the rustle of the leaves in the trees as the wind blew at them gently.

'How's Kieran doing' Emily questioned not able to take the silence any longer and knowing such an open question would force Naomi to actually speak to her. Plus it was a relatively safe topic in comparison to others

Naomi this time tilted her head to the side the way someone does when contemplating a difficult question, though she couldn't imagine what was difficult about that question. Emily thought for a moment her plan had been misguided but then she was graced with the voice she used to love talking dirtily towards her with the little lips she sometimes heard on her own name 'He's getting there' She didn't say much but at least she had said something, it was a start and some of the icy liquid Emily felt she was drowning in began to subside.

This time it was Emily's turn to nod as she had no response to Naomi's statement her mind running off on a tangent unable to keep the conversation going so instead it fell back into yet another break of silence as neither knew what to say.

Finally Emily pulled herself together and sighed in frustration; she turned to Naomi 'this is stupid, we used to be able to talk so easily about anything, stupid things even!'

Naomi however just snorted at Emily, for Emily this was a familiar sound like a blast from the past, the almost cocky Naomi was still in there but she was sorely disappointed at the words that followed the snort 'times change' it was almost as if she was implying that they couldn't ever have that again, that they wouldn't be able to talk to one another again in such a manner, it was like a knife had been thrust in Emily's chest, of all the things she had expected Naomi to say she hadn't expected that.

She felt hopeless she wanted to defend her cause but she had no idea what to say that could begin to bridge the vast canyon that had formed between her and Naomi, it seemed impossible to get back to that point of comfort.

'I guess they do' she admitted defeat, she wanted to fight for Naomi but it seemed pointless if Naomi didn't want to fight back it would be a waste of effort so instead she settled for an uncomfortable silence. Although she had admitted defeat she wasn't going to get up and leave it was comfortable here at least no one was having a go at her for a change.

Her phone rang in her pocket…Mandy flashed on the caller display, Emily just let it ring she didn't want to make the effort to talk to her right now and especially not in front of Naomi.

'Aren't you going to get that' Naomi huffed as she pressed a hand to her temple rubbing at it furiously as the ringtone sent spikes of pain through her head thanks to her headache which had refused to subside over the recent days, she was exhausted, grouchy and her peace had been interrupted but an infuriating ring tone.

Emily just shrugged and hit the caller reject button, certain that she would pay for it later, she put her phone on silent and jammed it back in her pocket 'nah, they can wait' and in truth they could, she was tired of Mandy's incessant check up calls, no doubt she would be on the phone to Katie now finding out where Emily was and why she hadn't picked up. A flash of a smile crossed Emily's face as she thought of Katie telling Mandy to fuck off which didn't go un-noticed by Naomi.

'What's so funny?' Naomi questioned as she continued to jam the heel of her hand into her temple in an attempt to banish her throbbing headache not that it had worked the last time she had tried it.

Emily just smiled at the blonde before a look of concern crossed her face as she noticed the familiar actions of Naomi trying to rid herself of a headache. 'Nothing really just thinking of Katie having a go at someone' Naomi just looked at her, her comment not making complete sense but decided that thinking about it too much would only make her headache worse so she settled for closing her eyes and resting her head back against the tree bark enjoying the gentle breeze in her face.

Emily took the opportunity to study Naomi, she had dark bags under her eyes that Naomi had even made an attempt to cover with cover up, a frown of concern crossed Emily's face, Naomi must be exhausted, she figured that it would explain the reasoning behind Naomi's pounding headache. She surveyed the rest of the blonde, she seemed thinner than she remembered and uncharacteristically wrapped in long sleeves on such a beautiful day when she herself was only wearing a short sleeved t-shirt.

Emily reached up and brushed a stand of stray blonde hair back behind Naomi's ear involuntary shuddering at the contact with the blonde. She didn't know what had come over her, she just had the urge to tuck the stray strand back into place and before she knew it she had done just that.

For Naomi she couldn't help the gasp that escaped her lips, it was as if her skin had been electrified, even the subtlest touch from Emily left what felt like a trail of fire across her skin, a feeling that she hadn't felt for a long time something that she had longed for, for so long that it didn't really feel possible that it was real.

Emily herself couldn't quite believe that she had reached out and brushed her hair behind her ear, it was out of habit more than anything but the gasp she had heard escape the blondes lips gave her renewed confidence. She reached out more boldly this time fuelled by the response that she heard but glad that Naomi's eyes were still closed so she wouldn't witness the slight tremble in her hand as she traced her hand down the same path only seconds ago despite the fact that there was no longer any hair to tuck back behind her ear.

Naomi seemed to have turned to stone, she was barely breathing but her heart was hammering so hard in her chest at the smallest touch from Emily, and Emily seemed to grow bolder as each second passed and Naomi made no attempt to stop her as she had now taken to rubbing light circles over Naomi's temples something she had done a long time ago to sooth Naomi's many hangovers, a tender and gentle touch that was both relaxing and soothing all in one instant.

She felt Emily shift beside her, moving into a more comfortable position so she wasn't twisting her spine to reach Naomi who still hadn't moved but had just about remembered to breath. She was enthralled at the touch from Emily the way that her skin prickled in anticipation at what this could mean but at the same time she realised that it couldn't be.

Yes she loved Emily, and yes she wished for more than anything that she could be with her again one hundred and ten percent committed to her, but this was wrong. She had learnt the hard way at the damage that could be cause by such actions and Emily wasn't hers, not anymore. She was with Mandy and because of that she shouldn't let this happen, couldn't let this happen. It was hard enough pining for Emily but to half have her wouldn't be good enough, stolen touches and glances weren't going to be enough and that's why this couldn't go on.

Naomi took a deep shaking breath and raised her hands to her temples wrapping them around Emily's and gently drew them down so they were held between them an almost whispered 'don't' was the only words she could produce. Taking another breath she plucked up the courage to open her eyes and stare into the deep brown eyes of Emily's, as blue met brown they stared at each other not moving not speaking barely containing their emotions that were there just beneath the surface.

'Don't' Naomi repeated again a little stronger this time but still praying that her eyes wouldn't betray the hurt inside of her, praying that she could keep herself together just a little bit longer. She leaned into Emily who had automatically closed her eyes as if anticipating what was coming next. Pressing a firm kiss to her forehead she pulled back slightly and looked into the closed eyes across from her praying they didn't open as she again leaned in and pressed their foreheads together.

Naomi whispered 'I'm sorry' and then she was gone, swiftly risen to her feet and briskly moving away from Emily hoping that she wouldn't be followed as she couldn't contain the hurt anymore. Not quite believing that she had walked away from the woman she loved the woman she would die for.

Emily sat there for some time, not moving her eyes still closed her head dropped in defeat as her phone continued to vibrate every now and then in her pocket, silent tears threatening to escape her but being held back firmly. She only had herself to blame for her current predicament, she had overstepped the mark and taken liberties with something she had no right to.

Steeling herself she rose to her feet and began the laborious walk home with a heavy heart, she ignored her ringing phone just not having the energy to answer it, she turned it off completely because even the vibrations were annoying her now.

Right now she just wanted to go home and sleep so she could imagine that this was all a bad dream come morning.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed this, I'm a bit happier with this chapter than the last I guess but I'm undecided if it's a bit out of character? Sorry if there's any mistakes – I'm knackered!**

**Let me know if you liked/hated it, all reviews are welcome =)**


	8. Chapter 8

**So I'm shit for taking so long to update this again really sorry I know it's a crap excuse but you know real life stuff got in the way again as it does. **

**Also I've been struggling a little bit with this as my original plan didn't really work out the way I wanted it to as I got a little side tracked. Note to self, don't write chapters when drunk or hungover and then you won't end up having to try and correct oversights!**

**This is really just a filler to do just that and get this moving in the direction I want it to again.**

**Thanks for all the new reviewers and story alerts, you all bring a smile to my face =D**

**I hope this doesn't disappoint too much! All mistakes are my own.**

* * *

Naomi was conflicted, walking away from Emily had been ridiculously hard but she knew it had been the right thing to do. But having her so close touching her skin feeling electrified by it and then tasting her skin when she had pressed her lips to her forehead had ignited something within her, something that she needed to push back down deep inside and lock away.

The evening after sitting with Emily she had gone home her heart heavy, her eyes glistening with unshed tears, tears that she would undoubtedly bottle up for the time being.

Walking in the house she heard Effy call from the kitchen but ignored her and immediately headed for the stairs hoping to be left alone. 'Naomes is that you?' Effy called again, but she just continued to ignore her and walked into her room, shutting the door behind her, tugging off her top throwing it lazily across the room and finally sliding down the wood to rest on the floor her knees once again cradled to her chest.

She was physically and emotionally exhausted and yet her mind was a roar of noise, questions bouncing back and forth about Emily about seeing her today about how she had acted, caring and comforting her by carrying out something so small and stupid as rubbing lazy circles on her temples but at the same time something that on an emotional level meant so much, almost made her think that Emily still loved her...but surely that was stupid.

As much as Naomi wanted to believe it was real, another part of her knew it couldn't be true because Emily had moved on. She was angry at the red head for toying with her emotions so carelessly. Emily wasn't an idiot she must have known that she was fucking with her head, maybe she even took pleasure in it, she had certainly taken pleasure in hurting her the first time by fucking Mandy in their bed.

Another flash of anger rose within Naomi gone as quickly as it appeared. In truth she was too tired to be angry and the conflicting emotions she had along with the many unanswered questions were whirling around her head like a maelstrom relentless and unyielding in their circular pattern, as soon as she pushed one aside another was there in a completely repetitive motion. She was tired of it and needed a distraction from it something to take her mind off everything. It was so simple an old habit she had sworn to break when she had decided that Emily wasn't worth it anymore that she was moving forwards with her new life in Manchester but that was before her mum, everything was different now. Everything had changed since the day a drunken driver had side swiped Kieran's car on the motorway, she remembered being told that if it had been a newer car things may have been different, airbags and such would have protected her from the impact or something like that. She hadn't really listed and it didn't really seem important, her mum was dead talking about what ifs wasn't going to bring her back, not now, not ever.

Since Gina was gone everything had changed, she had stayed strong but it had always been there niggling away in the back of her head, she had even taken to picking it up occasionally only to mentally berate herself and place it back where she had it hidden from Effy. But today, today was different she needed it. She wanted to physically hurt the way her head and her heart hurt her right now.

Reaching up on tip toes she groped at her top shelf behind a picture of the gang finally settling her fingers across the cold metal of her pen knife. Gripping her hand firmly around it she headed back towards the door but not before grabbing a bottle of vodka she had hidden in the bottom drawer of her desk, she wondered just how long it had been there but dismissed the thought, it wasn't important she intended on drinking it either way.

Finally she settled back behind the door safe in the comfort that by sitting against it Effy wouldn't be able to walk in on her. She twisted the cap off the bottle and raised it to her lips without a second thought, taking a few gulps she grimaced as the liquid burned the back of her throat. It tasted like paint stripper, she rarely drank vodka anymore but needs must and Naomi didn't really fancy walking into the kitchen to meet the steel blue eyes of Effy Stonem who would have probably known in an instant where here actions were heading.

Taking a few more swigs from the bottle she flicked open the knife letting the blade click into place. She remembered the last time she had used it, when she had cut away the marking she had left on the tree. She chuckled to herself finding it ironic that the last time she had used it was at the exact same tree that had played a part in her picking it up again. She took another swig of the vodka, it didn't taste quite so bad this time and it seemed with each gulp it was getting a little easier to swallow though it still wasn't enjoyable just a means to an end.

She sat just holding the blade in one had the bottle in the other, raising it to her lips every few minutes gulping down more of the bottle, each time she placed it back on the floor she would stare at her wrist, at the veins that crossed the skin on the inside of her wrist and another across the top of her wrist and one closer to her thumb. They were tempting but she had no intension of doing something as reckless as killing herself, she didn't want that she just wanted a distraction something that she could use to take her mind off of everything else jumbling around in her head, mourning and pain over Gina, anger and love still at Emily and confusion over the last couple of years of her life in general. If life was a test she would have failed miserably with a great big fat F standing for 'Fucked it up' from mistake to mistake she had travelled in the past couple of years her fear and indecisiveness causing unnecessary pain, right now she didn't want to think of it she just wanted to feel nothing but something physical.

She smiled lazily almost a little drunkenly to herself again at her own little private joke, it seemed she had done a complete one eighty. Before she had used to cut so she could feel something instead of the nothingness left behind, now it was the polar opposite now she wanted to cut so she could distract herself from all the feelings raging inside her that were conflicting.

She took another swig from the bottle and settled it on her floor then pressed the blade to her forearm enjoying the burning sting left behind once she had ran it through from one side to the other recklessly in one swift motion. She stared at the cut, a bluish purplish colour at the edges at first then quickly pink up and then red begin to pool in the cavern left behind. It was mesmerising. She raised the blade to her arm again deciding to press it to the exact same place she had just marked. Pressing the tip of the blade into the cut she pressed firmly and dragged the blade down once again. This time there was more resistance the blade had snagged a little as if it wasn't quite flat and even enough to move in a swift motion as the first had. Naomi repeated the same action biting her lip pushing through the pain another couple of times, the wound was bleeding freely now she watched as the deep red liquid began to pool and then run in a little river down her arm and finally across into her hand and then down her index finger. She grabbed the bottle of vodka and again took another long swig her eyes still trained on the trail of blood running down her arm, hand and then dripping off her fingers.

She added another 2 cuts, and repeated the same process so that all 3 had been cut into more than once and were all raw and deep. A total of 3 cuts now graced her skin, one for Gina, one for Emily and one for no reason what so ever, just for the sake of it for the distraction that it brought. She wiped the tip of the blade across the sleeve of her top, it was ruined anyway it didn't really matter if she cleaned her knife on it. She stood wobbling a little on her feet by this point almost the entire bottle of vodka was gone and she was now beyond caring if Effy found her or not. She staggered a little across to the shelf her left arm hanging limply at her side as she leant on it heavily on the wall, raising onto her tip toes she shoved the knife back in place closing one eye to focus and check that it was out of site so Effy couldn't see it.

She then crossed over to the bed downing the last of the bottle before flopping face first on to the bed, her arm hanging out over the edge so all the blood would continue to rush to her fingers, she was still mesmerised watching it run down her arm and finally drip off her finger on to the floor. A half smile graced her features proud of her handiwork in her drunken state, she felt herself getting tired and struggled to keep her eyes open knowing that she really needed to get up and clean herself and the mess she made up. She had now left 2 stains of blood on the floor not counting her ruined top or the tracks of blood running down from elbow to hand and the congealed blood that had started to form messily over the wounds. However her exhaustion had caught up with her and she lacked the energy to clean her mess up instead opting to just close her eyes and deal with it all in the morning as she let sleep overtake her.

* * *

Effy gave Naomi a couple of hours alone, knowing that was what she had wanted otherwise there was no reason she would have gone straight to her room without a word. That of course didn't mean she wasn't going to go and check on her at some point.

Heading upstairs with a cup of tea in hand she knocked gently on Naomi's door calling her name gently, frowning slightly when she didn't get a response she opened the door quietly seeing an empty bottle of vodka on the floor a coy smile at Naomi drinking herself into a stupor. But then she saw it red drops and a small red pool on the floor that wasn't meant to be there.

'Fuck sake Naomi' she muttered as she slammed the tea down on the desk the hot liquid spilling out over the side. She turned her attention to the slumbering blonde. Ironically she had an almost peaceful expression on her face from what she could see, her blonde locks scruffily falling over and covering her beautiful face which was pale and tired looking in the moonlight.

Though there was little light in the room now there was enough for Effy to see the destruction that Naomi's time alone had caused. She felt angry at herself for giving Naomi that time alone, for not interrupting her sooner as she could have stopped this but it was a pointless thought, if Naomi really wanted to do it she would have found a way, it's not like she could watch her 24/7 and Naomi was after all old enough to make her own decisions no matter how foolish they were.

Pushing the blonde hair out of her eyes Effy knelt next to the bed and gently shook her 'Naomes...Naomes come on babe we need to clean you up' the only response she got was a soft snore 'typical' she muttered for days Naomi had been sleeping badly Effy had heard her moving about it seemed that her lack of sleep had finally caught up with her, and maybe helped along a little bit by the empty bottle of vodka she spied.

She grabbed the cup of tea and headed into the bathroom tipping the tea out and rinsing the cup out she then filled it with warm water. Reaching into the bathroom cabinet she grabbed some cotton wool and then walked back into Naomi's room and settled back next to the blonde gently washing away the sticky red lines that ran down her arm and hand before finally turning her attention to the three angry wounds the blonde had created each in parallel to the last. A frown crossed her face when she realised how deep they were compared to the other scars that marred the beautiful porcelain skin of Naomi. As she cleaned them she felt Naomi twitching her synapses firing of their own accord. She sighed frustrated as they began to bleed again once the congealed blood had been washed away. Leaving the blonde she headed into her own room reaching into her bag she pulled out the first aid supplies she had brought with her in hope that she wouldn't need them but prepared for the worst.

She padded back into Naomi and cleaned away the blood that had risen to the surface again before placing stitch plasters to pull the wounds together and then finally wrapped a bandage firmly around the area to prevent the plasters from being caught on anything or moving, wondering as she couldn't quite believe that Naomi had slept through everything without waking once or making any sounds except for the occasional snore and a great deal of heavy breathing. She was completely sparko.

She then moved away from Naomi grabbing the blanket that rested at the end of the bed and covered the blonde up before once again stroking her hand down Naomi's face moving a few stray hairs that had escaped 'you bloody idiot' she muttered before she turned and left Naomi to sleep but before Effy left she pulled the curtains shut removing the remaining light from the room and silently made a mental note to keep a closer eye on Naomi again.

* * *

Naomi woke the next morning her head foggy and her stomach grumbling loudly thanks to the cheap vodka she had devoured and the lack of food she had consumed. She felt a dull ache in her arm and remembered that she had been a little reckless the night before, she sighed loudly preparing herself for the task of cleaning herself up but before she got there she scratched idly at her forearm the cuts itchy and tender but she was surprised when she felt something where she expected to find rough skin. She cracked an eye open and then dropped her head back down on to the pillow at the sight of the crisp white bandage placed firmly around her arm. 'Effy' she voiced to no one but herself, she knew it was true no one else would have cleaned her up without shouting at her and now there was no one else that could have done it what with her mum gone.

She slipped out of bed on the next loud grumble of her stomach knowing that she couldn't put off getting some food any longer; although she felt nauseous she knew she needed to eat. Pulling on the cardigan she had thrown on the floor the night before she headed for the door smiling slightly at the blissful aroma of morning coffee drifting upstairs.

Waiting at the bottom of the stairs Naomi hesitated wondering exactly what Effy was going to say to her but before she could think any longer a half asleep 'Morning' came from the direction of the kitchen before Naomi had even stepped off the last step. Trust Effy to know she was there steeling herself to face the wrath of the all knowing Stonem.

Finally taking the last few paces into the kitchen herself she looked up to see Effy at the table, coffee in front of her and a fag in one hand whilst her other palm was supporting her head as she leaned on her elbow on the table.

'Morning yourself' Naomi added quickly after stifling a yawn and then heading over to the kitchen side and flicked the kettle on again even though there was steam still rising from the top. She smiled to herself, her mum would always tell her that it wasn't necessary to boil the kettle again that it was already hot and she was destroying the environment by boiling the kettle again. But it was a habit that she had never quite been able to break, even when she knew the kettle had just been boiled she still flicked the switch again just to make sure.

Effy noticed her smile and frowned herself a little 'what's so funny?' she questioned not quite getting the joke 'nothing' Naomi replied 'something just reminded me of my mum that's all' she finished making her coffee and then sat down at the table with Effy, reaching across Naomi stole a fag from the packet in front of her. She looked around for a lighter but couldn't see one looking up silently questioning Effy as to its where abouts when she watched the brunette across her smirk with an eyebrow raised before she produced the lighter from her pocket 'you're welcome' Effy noted as Naomi snatched the lighter and lit the cigarette hoping the nicotine would calm her somewhat before she flipped off the smirking Stonem across from her.

Taking a long drag from her fag she slowly exhaled the smoke before looking at Effy who was tiredly rubbing at her eyes 'late night?' she questioned.

'Something like that' she replied. Effys answer had been aloof which made Naomi feel the need to push the issue knowing in the back of her head that it could backfire on her.

'Doing...?' she questioned hesitantly looking away and flicking the ash of her fag in the ashtray not meeting the steely blue glare from the woman across from her.

'Uni stuff' she said rather blasé. 'Oh' was all Naomi could say, Uni..._shit_ thought Naomi, she hadn't really thought about it much since her mum had died, they were due back at MMU soon and she was probably seriously behind now but there was a part of her that just didn't care, she wondered if this was why Effy had been hesitant to mention it.

As much as Naomi liked the idea of picking back up her new life at MMU she just wasn't quite sure if it was right for her anymore. She hadn't really settled properly, not really made any major new friends just fellow class mates that she passed pleasantries with and shared the occasional drink with but nothing like her the old gang. If it wasn't for Effy she was sure she would have probably spent a lot of time alone wrapped up in her own thoughts. Also she wasn't really enjoying her lectures she just couldn't get into them, not sure if it was to do with the lecturer who had the most boring and monotonous voice that it was always a struggle to stay awake and even more of a struggle to actually find it interesting despite how much she loved it. She just didn't know what to do; she had a home here in Bristol now, no mortgage thanks to her mum's life insurance policy which had cleared the remaining debts and left her a reasonable sum of money that she had no immediate concerns. Plus after all Bristol was home for her, she liked the idea of having reminders of her mum close to her, something to remind her of the infamous Gina Campbell now that she wouldn't be able to hear her voice or see her again except for in pictures and on videos.

'Naomi...are you even listening to me?' Effy questioned...

'What?' She replied as she snapped back to reality, Naomi had been so wrapped up in her own thoughts she hadn't heard a word that had been said to her.

'I'll take that as a no then, I said I was thinking of transferring to Bristol...' Effy stated with no emotion in her voice.

'What...? Why...?' Naomi Questioned not quite catching the drift, clearly she had missed something here...

'I don't know I just want to be closer to home and to my mum I guess, I mean she still isn't my favourite person but I have a different perspective of stuff now, you know? I don't want to be so far away anymore and I hate to say it but I miss Cook and other people and stuff' she shrugged and reached across to spark up another fag.

Naomi just stared at Effy and then burst into laughter 'sorry but you miss and want to be closer to Cook?' chuckling again at the expression on Effy's face 'don't you dare tell him Campbell I'll never live it down and Cooks ego already far exceeds any normal persons...plus anyway you owe me missy' she gestured by jabbing her fag in the direction of Naomi's arm which shut the blonde up immediately.

'Point taken, my lips are sealed' she added hoping that Effy would leave it there and not bring the subject of 'operation clean-up' up again.

'What about you, have you thought about what you're going to do now?' Effy questioned, in truth she hadn't but it wasn't a hard decision to make she didn't really intend on going back to MMU.

'I think I'm going to drop out, enrol again next year maybe... I don't know, I'm so far behind now anyway and to be honest my heart just isn't in it right now' Naomi stared at her now cold coffee, to avoid meeting the steel blue eyes that were boring a hole thought her right now.

Effy remained quiet, waiting for Naomi to add something else but she didn't have anything else to add. 'What about Emily' Effy asked her eyes trained on the blonde waiting to read her reaction.

Naomi bit her lip and subconsciously pressed her thumb into the bandage on her arm keeping her eyes downcast purposely not looking at Effy, she felt Effy move across the table from her, felt her lean forward reaching a hand across the table gripping Naomi's firmly so she couldn't press her thumb into her new wounds anymore.

Emily...she hadn't really thought about it, it had been hard to see Emily yesterday but how often would she actually see her, from what she understood Cook didn't really see Katie anymore and what with Panda and Thomas at Harvard that just left JJ and Freddie neither of whom she was particularly close to, maybe it wouldn't be a problem?

Lost in her own thoughts again she felt Effy grasp her hand tighter as if to prompt her for an answer. Trust Effy not to let this one go, she realised that she didn't have an answer so she told Effy the only thing she could think of 'I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it' she looked up to see Effy staring at her with an unreadable look on her face.

'So I guess we're moving back to Bristol then' Effy added finally with a smile and a twinkle in her eye.

'I guess were moving back to Bristol' Naomi confirmed smiling back at Effy.

'Cook's going to be stoked' she added as an afterthought, she could already hear him screaming about going fucking mental at the news the trio would finally be back together again.

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**So yeah like I said this was totally a filler and I'm going to apologise for some of the potential mistakes in having Effy transfer Uni's I'm not actually sure if thats possible having not gone to Uni myself, but I needed to move them back to Bristol. Originally I was going to have Emily show up in Manchester, but I was struggling with the mechanics of it really working so I decided to bring them back to Bristol because it was easier and made more sense, sorry should have thought that one through a little better, that'll teach me ay!**

**Give me a free pass on that boo boo and I vow to get some Emily and Naomi action going on and probably some more angst as my head is totally still in that place! I might even throw in some Katie Effy arguments if I can! I wont kill anyone else off either they're all safe, at least for now!**

**You know what to do, hit the review button and let me know what you think, maybe it will inspire me to pull my finger out and actually write something half decent for you lovely people to read! Yes I'm all about bribery and corruption ;o) **


	9. Chapter 9

**So I had some feedback that said it was too angsty and there wasn't enough Emily and too much Effy so have a whole chapter of Emily and angst free or at least it is in my head. Oh Effy's not going anywhere by the way she's like Naomi's rock in this and I appreciate that it was rather dark from Naomi's perspective but she did have reason to be or at least I would have felt rather sorry for myself if I had been in her position what with Emily giving her a taste of her own medicine but with an additional kick and with Gina's passing.**

**Also I decided to try and write this in first person rather than third. I've never tried it before but I had an idea for a story after this that I think would work better in first person and so I've used this chapter as a kind of tester so to speak. Hope it doesn't disappoint too much!**

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'Jesus Katie could you at least try and look at the road' I've done it again put my life in the hands of none other than Katie Fitch, what the fuck was I thinking? I stare on in wonder and awe as Katie checks her make up in the mirror for the umpteenth time, as if on instinct I physically reach across to take the wheel as she's taken her hands it off to put some more lip gloss on. 'Fuck sake Katie! How did you even pass your test?'

She just looked at me like I was stupid 'Babe with tits like these there was no way I was going to fail' typical, Katie has once again managed to use her sluttish ways to score something else, at least it wasn't cock this time...actually I don't want to know.

So Katie is taking me 'shopping' by shopping I take that to mean that I'm going to spend the day watching her try out countless outfits being asked which ones make said tits look best and which skirt is short enough to show off the curves of her ass but not her pants, all while I'd rather be left alone with no one but myself for company...fucking brilliant.

As we arrive and Katie parks I try to duck down and hide so people don't see the way she has literally abandoned her car, I mean seriously she must have done something amazing to pass her driving test because whatever she just did in no way resembled parking. I watch as she walks out of the car park, hips swaying suggestively and her hair bouncing with each step she takes and I wonder if Katie tries extra hard to look so ridiculous or if it's something that just comes naturally to her.

'Ems get a move on I haven't got all day' she screams at me because apparently during my inner monologue I've forgotten to make my legs work and follow Katie like a good little puppy. I don't even bother to reply as she's already turned and is bouncing down the street again stopping before some random shop and walking in but not before glancing to checking that I was actually following, no chance of escaping then.

Begrudgingly I follow Katie in the shop say all the right things or at least I assume I have as she's beaming. God knows how many outfits later Katie finally appears to be all shopped out, either that or she's maxed out her credit cards again 'Coffee?' she asks, I nod in agreement because at least I can sit down and continue to tune out her babbling about the latest guy she met out on Friday night, because he's probably no different from the guy she met on Monday night that I heard about.

I just sit there nodding and stirring my spoon in my latte my mind completely elsewhere, wrapped up in the mess I've made of my life lately and more importantly focused on a blonde that I haven't been able to rid my thoughts of, focused on a soft pair of lips I can still feel pressed against my forehead if I concentrate hard enough. But there's a problem, of course there is there's always a problem.

I hear Katie sigh, I guess I hadn't been paying that much attention to her as when I look up she's just staring at me expectantly waiting for an answer.

'What?' I question, not really sure what she's waiting for as I haven't paid a blind bit of attention to her.

'I said spit it out already' spit what out? What the hell is she even talking about I just look at her with a confused look.

'Spit what out' I question.

'Whatever it is that is distracting you from the brilliance of me' I snort, Katie never was one to be modest. Problem is that I'm not sure if I want to talk to Katie especially about this, we have an unwritten agreement, one where I don't talk about my relationships and she talks endlessly about hers, it works beautifully. I look over at Katie who's still looking at me expecting me to continue completely oblivious of the inner turmoil currently reverberating around my brain as to whether or not I should talk to her about this or not. She eventually reaches a hand across the table and places it on top of my own but apparently it's enough to break my resolve.

'I think I want to break up with Mandy' I blurt out so quickly I'm not even sure that she heard me and part of me hopes that she didn't because it sounds so fucking stupid even to my own ears.

'About bloody time' she replies, apparently the look on my face spurs her to continue 'Just admit it Ems, you don't love her, you never have, she was just a shag and that's all she'd ever been to you and that's all she should be because she's a fucking moron if you ask me.'

I'm speechless, completely and totally speechless I just continue to stare at her in disbelief I feel the anger rise inside me a flash of red crosses my vision, but I'm not angry at Katie much to my surprise I'm angry at myself for letting things carry on for so long and for not having the guts to end it long ago when I should have. Katie was right, I didn't love Mandy and I never had, because my heart did and always had belonged with another and no matter how hard I tried there was no way I could make it love someone else. I feel Katie stroke her thumb across the back of my hand, a reassuring gesture that she's here for me. It's overwhelming and unexpected but it brings a smile to my face in contrast to the other emotions running through my mind.

We just sit in silence, uncharacteristic for Katie and far too familiar for me, we are really like chalk and cheese. Eventually Katie breaks the silence, subconsciously I'm actually impressed that she lasted this long but I'm far too distracted to comment on it.

'So what are you going to do about it' Katie asks and I reply with the most honest answer I've given her all day 'I don't know' simple yet entirely true.

I have no idea what to do I know what I should do but actually doing it isn't going to be easy. Mandy doesn't strike me as the sort of person that's going to give up without a fight and its not going to be a girly little cat fight either, it's going to be full on fisty-cuff's, hair pulling, scratching, kicking and screaming type of fight.

'Come on, you and me are going out tonight, I've already got the perfect outfit picked' there's the Katie I'm used to - back to going out and getting fucked...and this time I'm totally with her on it. I stand up and give her the best smile I can muster and reach a hand out to heave her and her many bags up. After all if we're going out Katie needs to get home pronto if we want to get out of the house before 10.

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We finally made it out impressively at about half nine, mind you I'd been ready since 8 which meant I'd had a good hour and a half to drink my way through a bottle of vodka so I was well on my way past merry and fast approaching drunk.

I watched as Katie walked straight past the queue for the club up to the bouncers pushing her tits out as she got closer, it amazes me how this actually works, I've never known it fail and tonight was no exception. I smile to myself as I see Katie turn around wink at me and beckon me forward as the bouncers step aside to let us in.

It's heaving and already I can feel the beat of the music pumping in my body, before I know it Katie has dragged me off to the bar and shoved a shot of something in front of me followed by a Jägerbomb. As I turn from the bar after downing the drinks pushed my way by Katie I catch a glimpse of the lights in the club bouncing off peroxide blonde hair, but I'm disappointed when I realise that it's not Naomi, its wishful thinking to believe that she would actually be here tonight but a part of me still craves to see her again. She looked so lost the last time that I saw her, so thin and almost lifeless, I wonder how she's coping without Gina and if she misses her, it made me think of my mum, we still don't have the best of relationships but I know deep down I love her and I would miss her if she was taken from me in such a brutal way of course that doesn't mean I'm going to run up and share a Fitch hug with her at every opportunity.

I'm broken from my thoughts by Katie placing a pill in my hand which I swallow without a second thought and then follow her through the crowd into the masses.

The beat of the music in time with the pumping of my heart is all I care about right this second, I don't know how long I've been here, somehow managed to score a bottle of vodka which I'm clutching tightly in my raised fists as I sway back and forth to the song currently blaring out throughout the crowd. Thrashing my head back and forth in sync with the swaying I sweeping a hand across my forehead to move a few stray strands of hair that had stuck to the side of my face. I feel a pair of arms wrap around my waist and a pair of hot lips pressed against my neck but I vaguely register stubble brushing against the soft skin, finally my brain kicks back into gear and I turn my head only to be met with the toothy grin of none other than James Cook.

'Emilio!' he exclaimed wrapping his arms around me in a crushing bear hug actually lifting me off the floor in the process and spinning me around, I squee in shock and look into his face, his pupils are the size of saucers, definitely on something then I wonder if that's what my pupils look like right now.

'Fancy a willy waggle then babes or you still a muff monkey?' he slurs lewdly at me, I can't help but smile back at him even though I should be offended at what he said I just can't quite bring myself to do it.

'Sorry Cook I'm all about the muff these days' I shout in his ear he pouts for a second and bursts into laughter a ridiculously cheesy grin on his face, I see him wave to someone over my shoulder and turn around instinctively to be met with the stony stare of Effy, and then suddenly it all clicks into place...If Effy's here...and Cooks here then that means...she's here. Frantically my eyes are searching the crowd looking for a flash of blonde hair but there's so many people and my vision is fucked thanks the pills and booze I've had that I can't quite focus properly. Deciding to shut one eye to help me focus better I continue to scan the crowd and then finally I see her, at the bar talking to someone, someone I don't recognise and my heart drops just a little. She seems...happy? Laughing, nothing like she was last time I saw her when she seemed so lost and broken and then I see her lean in and whisper something to the person next to her before turning and heading for the back of the club where I know the toilets are located.

Quickly I turn to get Cooks attention and point to the back of the club hoping he'll catch my drift, but I don't have to worry too much as he's currently trying to grind his cock into someone's arse, none of my concern really so I just shrug and head to the back hoping to catch her.

I've almost made it to the back of the club but someone blocks my path, I try to edge around them but they just step in the same direction and its only when I look up that I realise just who it is standing in my way...again.

'Emily fancy seeing you here' its déjà-vu - the wake all over again, Effy has once again blocked my path to the blonde I've been craving for. Jealousy rises within me, she's always there with Naomi always protecting her and comforting her when it should be me, I know it's my own fault and it was my actions that pushed Naomi away but at the same time I can't help but be angry at Effy for getting to be so close to Naomi all the time, and for stopping me from getting anywhere near her.

'No guard dog tonight then' she questions with a smug expression, I just look at her lost which causes her to elaborate 'you know about yay high, dark hair, bit dirty looking...goes by the name of Man-deh' she says the name slowly as if trying to mimic a caveman, I snort in amusement, realise I shouldn't have but it was pretty damn funny after all, though all it earned me was yet another smug expression from the woman who was still blocking my path to the blonde on my mind.

'She's all tied up at home' I answer with my own smug expression pretty impressed with myself for not slurring my response too much considering how fucked I am right now. As quickly as possible I dismiss Effy and walk around her heading towards the toilets hoping and praying that no one else will stand in my way.

As soon as I walk in the toilets I see her leant over the sink, head downcast her hands gripping the edge muttering away to herself, I start to doubt if I was wrong if she was really still broken and lost but just well trained at acting like she's okay around people.

'Naomes' I walk towards her, calling out her name softly resting a hand on her shoulder which causes her to snap her head up and stare at my reflection in the mirror, suddenly I feel as sober as the day I was born, sound of mind with all my faculties about me. I can smell her perfume over the stench of the alcohol soaked into my own clothes from the idiots who can't handle their booze and insist on spilling it over those nearest to them, it brings an involuntary smile to my face as my brain has taken its own trip down memory lane without a ticket and is remembering all the times that we spent snuggled up together in bed or on the couch or just somewhere quiet and peaceful with no disturbances. I'm snapped back from my musings as Naomi stands fully and faces me pure shock written all over her face, I'd forgotten just how tall she is, which is stupid because Mandy is about the same height really.

It seems whenever we are in each others company we both struggle to form sentences and I hate the awkward silences that are becoming to be a ritual part of our meetings, all 2 of them. I crave to touch her face to feel the smooth soft skin beneath my fingertips, feel her lean into my embrace like she used to. Maybe it's the drugs or maybe just the alcohol I don't know but I reach my hand up and cup her cheek my eyes trained on her brilliant blue eyes which are currently boring into mine, I feel it instantly the charged electricity that still exists between us it's immense and amazing and instantly makes me crave more of her.

I move to step forwards to be closer to her, afterwards I'll tell myself it was to hug her because she looked like she needed it, but truthfully I wanted to kiss her, to taste the distinct flavours that belong to none other than Naomi Campbell but before I get the opportunity I hear the noise from the club get louder in the room and reactively we both pull away from one another as if scorned. I yearn for the contact again for the feel of her warm skin but I know the moment has passed and she's once again facing the mirror checking her appearance taking a deep breath to calm her nerves. I turn to look to see what annoying bastard broke the moment, I shouldn't be surprised my mind has already guessed who it is, but when I turn I'm not met with the blue eyes I was expecting but rather with hard brown eyes that are currently burning a hole through mine and Naomi's head with a face like thunder her arms crossed firmly across her chest and her fists curled tightly into a ball of fury.

I sense Naomi debating what to do behind me and step aside without thinking letting her pass me by to leave the hostile atmosphere as quickly as possible but before she leaves a hand reaches out and grasps firmly around her forearm, I hear her wince in pain and before I know what I'm doing I've stepped forward and placed my own hand on top of the one clasping at Naomi's arm and gently pull the offending fingers off and step firmly between them.

Naomi just turns to leave but before she can get out of the door she's goaded into staying. Mandy spits venomously at her saying that I'm hers and forever will be which does nothing but spike anger inside my own body, my hand grips hers tighter as I feel the rage building inside of me. But before I can react out of the corner of my eye I see a fist fly and connect firmly with Mandy's face and I can't help but feel impressed with Naomi's nerve and also with her right hook as I watch Mandy cup her hands to her face and her nose which is now flowing freely with deep red blood.

'You fucking bitch, you'll pay for that' Mandy screams at her though her voice is muffled by her hand trying to stem the flow of blood from her face. Naomi just flips her off and retorts with a simple 'bite me' before turning and leaving without a second glance back. Silently I'm applauding and cheering for her inside but I don't voice anything as currently I'm boiling over with anger, I turn to face Mandy who's taken to wiping the blood from her nose with her sleeve whilst muttering something about getting her own back on that blonde bitch and before she has a chance to react I slap her firmly across the face myself 'I don't belong to you' I spit at her my voice shaking with anger 'and for the record I never have' I turn to leave but she reaches out and stops me in my tracks as she calls my name out, I hate the way she says it, it feels wrong I don't comment just glare at her through determined eyes until she releases my hand.

'Emily' she pleads again and I cringe at the way she has said my name again, it's like she's stoked the fire and right now lava is running in my veins having replaced the liquid that existed before. My heart beats ferociously in my chest fuelled by her actions and having been so close to Naomi and thwarted in my efforts to speak with her.

'No, this is it I've had enough, enough of your jealously of your over baring nature, enough of your temper and just enough of you, were over Man-deh' I use the same caveman mimic that Effy used because it just seemed to fit her face right now, either that or it was the drugs in my system that had warped my sense of humour. I turn and walk away as quickly as possible as I'm not able to contain my smug expression or laughter, leaving a shocked Mandy still wiping her face of the blood as I head back into the club.

Instantly my eyes are once again searching for the blonde as they were before and I see her but she has her back to me and is talking animatedly to Effy whose head is currently bowed and looking at something on the floor? It doesn't really make sense but I turn to head over to Naomi to check if she's okay remembering the wince of pain that had escaped her lips when Mandy grabbed her but before I get there I feel someone wrap their arms around me and shriek in delight.

'Thank fuck Em's I thought you'd died, where the fuck have you been?' I feel stupidly pleased to see my twin and maybe it's just her infectious smile but I find myself beaming at her in return like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I decide not to reply but just hug her back tightly, as soon as we break my eyes are once again searching the area I last saw her with Effy but she's not there, I scan the crowd again hoping to catch the lights bouncing off her hair again but to no avail.

I turn back to Katie who's still dancing to the beat of her own drum and chuckle a little to myself, that is until my eyes catch sight of Mandy approaching though so I grab Katie's hand and pull her towards the exit of the club ignoring her protests that she doesn't want to go yet. Finally once I get her outside I turn to her 'I just need to go… okay?' my eyes plead to her along with my words and for once I'm thankful for Katie's bossy nature as she turns on her heels wobbling a little and hails a taxi who stops almost immediately for her.

I look down the street and I see Naomi and Effy walking off in the distance and I feel the jealousy there again that its Effy walking with Naomi her arm wrapped around her waist as they walk home and I just want to chase after them and take Effy's place but Katie breaks my thoughts 'get in already Em's' I turn to look at her eagerly signalling me inside the car and almost regret my haste in telling Katie that I needed to go, if only I had lifted my head and looked around I would have seen them, but it's too late now so I climb in the taxi and head home tuning out Katie as she tells me about her evening I hear something about her dancing with someone we know but my minds too distracted to take in what she's saying.

A random thought breaks through my Naomi filled haze and it occurs to me that I still have stuff at Mandys and silently I curse myself for not realising that sooner, Maybe I'll just send Katie.

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**So there you have it I pulled my finger out and wrote something though I'm not sure that it was as good as maybe you were hoping? Also I wanted to know if people actually wanted this to continue as I'm a little concerned that my angsty mood has driven all the readers away and now I feel a bit selfishly guilty...**

**Feel free to hit that review button and let me know what you thought be it good / bad and if you want more.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry for the delay I'd love to say I'll do better next time but you know I won't! Thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter, it took me a while to finally decide on how to approach what happens in this chapter which is the main cause for delay, that and I went away for a few days.**

**I hope this doesn't disappoint, back to third person for this as it's just easier to write and it seems more preferable.**

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Naomi still couldn't quite believe what had happened at the club a couple of weeks ago but she knew it was true, she'd had the tender knuckles to remind her that she had indeed punched that bitch full on in the face. Even now it bought a smile to her face and left her with a bounce in her step. She was feeling good about herself confident and dare she even say it pretty darn happy, which was surreal and in such contrast to how she had left for more time than she dared admit.

Naomi had now had a couple of encounters with Emily recently and when she'd been telling Effy about them she realised that Emily's actions towards had been anything but hostile despite the fact that they had felt a little tense and awkward at the time. Though there was still chemistry there. at least for her she couldn't vouch for Emily but her skin felt alive after Emily had graced her with the briefest of touches again and in that moment if it were possible everything would have been forgotten. Maybe it was the drugs in her system that made the feeling even more acute than their previous meeting or maybe it was that she saw that glimmer in Emily's eyes that she used to tell herself was reserved for her only. Either way the result was once again she was completely infatuated with the red head from her past. But there was obviously still the problem that Emily wasn't available and that bitch still had her dirty paws all over her.

Despite that cog in the works things were still looking up, she had applied for a job in a local bookstore, nothing too ambitious she was just looking for something to pass the time whilst she waited for her next enrolment at uni to come around. With Effy busy studying she was feeling rather bored. Money wasn't a concern after all but being in the same house she had shared with her mother wasn't somewhere she could spend her days doing nothing, as doing nothing almost always resulted in thinking about everything and that was never a good thing, so distraction was key.

As for Effy her studies seemed to be going extremely well the only problem was, for Effy with knowledge comes power, not only did she already have the uncanny ability to know exactly what Naomi was thinking but now she had learnt the talent to get Naomi to voice what she was thinking without her even realising it was happening, that was until afterwards and Effy would be sat there with the smuggest expression plastered all over her face that it was clear Naomi had been rumbled yet again.

Cook had also been around a lot; it seemed that he loved having his two favourite women he didn't get to shag around him. Cook had actually found himself a job, something about someone he knew setting him up and it being the perfect way to get a good fuck, Naomi wasn't sure and she hadn't really been paying attention. He also seemed to be in a stupidly good mood and was no longer proposing to 'stick it' to 'em and no mentions of anymore non lezzer willy waggles either. Naomi needed to propose that Effy use her new talents on him to find out just what was going on rather than keeping getting her to spill whatever it was on her mind.

Naomi was in good spirits and tonight the three of them were going out to celebrate the fact they were all officially back together, she had a feeling that this celebration was going to be a regular occurrence, something which brought yet another smile to her face.

Last weekend the three of them had hired a van and travelled back to Manchester to clear out their stuff, Cook had of course insisted on a night out on the town but seemed sorely disappointed when the most action he got was a very handsome fellow called Gareth who appeared to have an almost unnatural attraction to Cook's arse, in the way that he just couldn't stop touching it. Somehow taking Cook to Canal Street had just seemed like the perfect payback to his incessant whining about going out and getting fucked, though maybe Effy and Naomi had been a little bit sadistic in trying to get him the literal translation of what he wanted 'getting fucked' that is.

Putting the finishing touches to her makeup Naomi checked her appearance in the mirror satisfied with the result of her efforts, finishing off by spraying her perfume she headed downstairs to wait for the others.

Upon walking into the kitchen Naomi was graced with the sight of Effy sitting on the side looking out the window, a bottle of corona in her hands and a spliff hanging from her mouth.

"Who said you could start without me?" she questioned Effy just pointed to the open bottle next to her which she had already opened for Naomi, as always pre-empting her needs "it's not my fault you take fucking ages to get your shit together" Effy retorted after taking another toke from the spliff and then passing it across to Naomi.

"Ha ha very funny" Naomi replied before taking a long drag on the spliff and then passing it back across to Effy who had jumped down from the kitchen side and pulled a bottle of tequila from the cupboard and poured them shots "You've got catching up to do Naomes" she informed her before placing both shots in front of Naomi with her eyebrows raised in challenge "tequila... it makes you happy" Naomi just shook her head at the cheesiness of her friend and downed the shots one after the other biting back the burning sensation as they lit a trail of fire down her throat. "Gah, tequila might make you happy Ef but it makes me want to fucking puke" this just earned her a chuckle from Effy who seemed to find the whole situation highly amusing as she poured two more shots out one for each of them this time and raised her glass to Naomi to indicate that she was to join her. Fortunately at that exact point there was a knock at the door "saved by the bell" Naomi smirked and poked her tongue out but Effy as per usual just looked amused at her as if she knew something that she didn't.

Opening the door she was met with the toothy grin of Cook and a full bottle of Jack thrust at her, Cook just waggled his eyebrows and pushed passed the blonde heading to the kitchen. "Bitches the cookie monsters here, its time to get this fucking party started" as he picked up both shots from the table and downed them both without any hesitation followed by snatching the spliff from Effy and happily puffing away on it until he finally stubbed the butt out in the ashtray.

"So how are my beautiful ladies?" Cook questioned excitedly looking from one woman to the other eagerly awaiting their replies as he poured out some more tequila into the two shot glasses on the table and then a third which Effy had supplied without request. Having received no response he shoved the shot glasses in front of each of them and then downed his looking at them both waiting for them to follow suit. Effy was first, throwing her shot back and slamming the glass down on the table and then both Effy and Cook turned their attention to Naomi who finally reached down and threw her own shot back grimacing at the taste.

"Excellent" Cook added rubbing his hands together as he reached for the bottle and refilled the glasses; the next hour followed a similar pattern with all 3 finally polishing off the bottle of tequila and then making short work of the bottle of Jack, which went down with much more pleasure for the blonde. Whether that was due to the fact that she actually liked Jack or the fact that the back of her throat was by now so scorned by the tequila that she couldn't feel any burn from the jack. Either way the bottle was polished off quickly along with a few more spliffs that had been shared along the way.

Naomi didn't even remember leaving her house let alone the trip to the club but here she was leaning against Effy and Cook dancing away with the masses feeling the beat of the music thumping in her bones. Cook had delivered the goods, something to help the day go by and keep her in good spirits. She swayed her hips in time to the music or at least she thought she was, glancing around she saw Cook who was as per usual pressed up against some poor unsuspecting victim who would soon enough find herself bouncing ferociously on cooks lap from the look of things. Rolling her eyes she turned to face Effy and pointed over her shoulder at Cook which just earned her a grin from Effy before she leant in and slurred in her ear "Victim numero uno" Naomi let out a throaty laugh and leaned more heavily on Effy engulfing her in a hug who laughed along with her.

Something caught Naomi's eye over Effy's shoulder, Katie Fitch and stood next to her at the bar was Emily, which sent her mind spiralling out of control with excited thoughts about the red head and their last encounter here in this very club. She continued leaning on Effy as her thoughts sank back to that point in time, the way Emily had hesitantly said her name, the way she had looked at her with those deep pools of brown full of concern. The feeling of fire on her skin left from the touch of Emily's palm on the side of her face and the way she had leant into that palm and old feelings had stirred within her, feelings that had never left but feelings she had worked hard to push down below the surface so people wouldn't see how much she was hurting.

Lost in her thoughts she didn't register that they had changed positions and now Effy was facing the bar, talking to her and telling her something whilst her gaze was focused behind her, she didn't register any of this as her mind was completely wrapped up in Emily who had the power to occupy her thoughts single handed.

She felt Effy release her and pull her towards the bar where she ordered them a couple of drinks and then turned to face the dance floor to watch Cook still grinding against the girl he had found earlier whilst gesturing crudely at them that he was going to fuck her before the pair of them disappeared from the dance floor and headed to the back of the club, _lovely_ she thought idly before her thoughts turned back to the red head that she had spotted only moments ago. In moving around Naomi had lost track of the redhead but she was sure that she was here somewhere still, she wondered idly if she was here with Mandy but dismissed the idea as surely they would have been at the bar together. Instead she leant against the bar with Effy sipping her drink and watched the dancing crowd all jumping and swaying to the beat of the music, after a while she felt Effy tap on her arm and then point in another direction where she shortly after headed to leaving Naomi at the bar with a now empty drink in hand bobbing her head to the beat an almost goofy smile on her face.

* * *

Katie had dragged Emily out again back to the same club they always visited, mainly because Katie loved it here and she almost always got preferential treatment, no queuing to get in, no waiting at the bar for hours to get served it was perfect for her. As usual Katie had dragged her to the bar instantly for the now traditional jagerbomb. Without realising what she was doing she found herself searching the crowd for peroxide blonde hair and it didn't take long to find it. The first couple of people she had spied hadn't been who she was looking for but on the third attempt she saw the object of her desire and her heart dropped a little when she realised that her arms were wrapped around another woman.

Their eyes met for a second and she felt herself get lost as each second passed by in the never ending electric blue pools that she would happily drown in. As she took the drink thrust at her by Katie she threw it back and then continued to stare at the pair a pang of jealousy that it wasn't her in Naomi's arms and it was only when Naomi's back was to her that Emily realised that it was Effy in her arms. Without hesitation Emily had grabbed the other drink from Katie and stormed off in anger to another part of the club well away from the blonde and the infuriating brunette who was always attached to Naomi these days.

Effy had of course seen the exchange and that - more than anything - infuriated Emily further, Effy was incredibly perceptive something that she had learnt long ago in college and one thing she never wanted was Effy knowing how much it hurt to see Naomi with someone else. She downed the drink she had and then reached into her bag and rummaging about for something but coming up empty. It was then that she saw Cook about to pass her by and an idea struck her. Throwing herself at Cook she greeted him enthusiastically and he returned it with another bone crushing hug. Not wasting any time she leaned in close to Cook ignoring the bitch next to Cook who was currently sending evils her way "Cook you got anything stronger than that shit behind the bar?" Cook just pulled back and smirked at her before pulling a pill from his pocket and placing it on his tongue and waggling his eyebrows at her. Emily just rolled her eyes at him, but she wanted the pill so leaned in and pressed her mouth to his for the sole purpose of receiving the pill. She pulled away as soon as she had it and swallowed it greedily before adding a nod and wave of thanks as Cook continued on his way.

Emily stood and considered that she would have never done that before, if Mandy had ever found out it would have been more trouble that it was worth and in that moment her spirits lifted she could kiss, dance with and fuck who ever she damn well pleased now, even if the one person she wanted to do that with was still currently just out of her reach, shaking her head of her thoughts she turned and headed into the crowd losing herself in the music, dancing this time to the beat of her own drum as she felt the pill begin to take effect. She felt people dancing against her suggestively and responded in kind just because she could now. She grabbed the girl in front of her dancing, she wasn't bad looking maybe a 7 or 8 out of 10 a little taller than her, slender yet shapely figure with knee high boots that only highlighted the form of her legs. Placing her arms around her neck she pulled the other girl a little closer and placed one thigh in between the other as she swayed and dipped suggestively getting lost in the moment, her head thrown back and watching the lights dance across the ceiling and around the walls.

It wasn't long however before someone grabbed her roughly and spun her around and for a moment she wondered just exactly what was going on until she was met with the stern blue eyes of Effy Stonem. "Effy! How nice to see you" she proclaimed disdain evident in her voice a smug expression on her face at using Effys own words against her. Effy however just raised an eyebrow and decided to ignore the question instead giving the brunette behind Emily a scolding look so she backed away into the crowd.

"What the fuck are you playing at Emily" and Emily was confused? What was she playing at? She was just here minding her own business having a good time ignoring the fact that Effy was draped all over the woman she craved. She was fucked off now and the alcohol had done nothing but fuel the fire within her "Fuck you Effy" she spat at the brunette who wasn't at all phased by the comment, instead she leant in close and whispered in her ear "Fuck you right back" before pulling back and smirking at her, and then pointing towards the bar "she's over there, don't fuck it up Fitch or this time I just might hit you over the head with a rock" with that she turned and stalked off back the way she came.

Emily just stood stock still confused and lost, what the fuck had just happened? Had Effy just pointed her in the direct of Naomi? She felt a rush of excitement that she knew where Naomi was and that this time Effy wasn't going to step in her path, and there was no Mandy issue anymore it appeared she was free to pursue Naomi to her heart's content. Not wasting anytime she pulled herself together and headed to the bar in search of the blonde.

* * *

Naomi was still at the bar trying to get the attention of the staff to get another drink but her efforts were fruitless, maybe it was a sign that she shouldn't drink anymore instead she decided to turn her back on the bar and survey the crowd searching for Effy. As she stood there still bobbing her head away to the music she felt a glass thrust into her hand. She turned to see who had given it to her and instantly she froze, the glass slipping from her hands and smashing on the floor the liquid spilling over her shoes and feet.

"I told you I'd make you pay" Mandy added before she looped an arm around Naomi's shoulder and pulled her into the crowd against her will, her drunken state leaving her at a severe disadvantage to fight back against the woman of similar stature to her.

Once they were in the crowd Mandy spun her around and walked towards her aggressively before Naomi knew it her back was pressed against a wall and it was then that Naomi's foggy mind really took in the situation, over Mandys shoulder were two rather butch looking women who seemed to have their eyes trained on Naomi and no amount of wishful thinking was going to make them turn and walk away or begin dancing with one another.

Naomi looked around at the crowd thinking that someone might notice the bizarre situation playing out in front of them, but she was disappointed in her realisation that everyone was so high or drunk and wrapped up in the music that they didn't even notice her or the three thugs stood around her. With the flashing lights and the pumping music she realised that no amount of shouting or screaming was going to draw attention either, she was running out of options and Mandy knew it, she was staring at Naomi arms crossed smugly across her chest. It was within moments that she took a step forwards and curled her fist into a ball burying it swiftly into Naomi's midsection knocking the wind out of her. As Naomi curled in on herself she gasped struggling to regain her breath but before she had a chance a knee connected with the side of her head, she was dazed and confused her head throbbing in pain, she felt herself being lifted off the floor her arms draped over someone's shoulders as she was carried no scratch that dragged towards what she presumed to be the entrance to the club.

Mandy turned to the bouncers giving them a sickly sweet smile, "never could hold her drink this one" she added a thumb over her shoulder to Naomi who was being held up weak kneed and unsteady on her feet her head throbbing and her breath coming in short sharp bursts.

The bouncers just looked at Naomi and shook their heads as if they were disappointed at her and stepped aside for the group to leave before turning their attention back to the club not watching where they had left, as if they had they would have seen the group walk a little further down the road and then into an alley way.

Naomi was all but thrown on the cold damp floor instantly raising herself onto all fours as she struggled to control her breathing her head still foggy. It was then that she felt her chin being pulled up roughly "now about that payback I promised" and she closed her eyes waiting for the pain to come.

* * *

Emily headed towards the bar with a bounce in her step she was going to see Naomi and she had an opportunity to get to know the blonde again with no barriers to stop her this time maybe she might even get to dance with the blonde, her eyes were scanning the bar with excitement looking for a shock of peroxide blonde hair but she was disappointed that she couldn't locate it. Instead she turned her attention to the crowd wondering if Naomi had wandered off to dance and lose herself in the music like she had so many times when they were teens but she still couldn't see her, so she ordered a drink and waited patiently at the bar all the time searching the crowd. It was then that she spotted Katie and waved her over to her raising her glass in the air as enticement, Katie nodded and headed her way instantly taking the glass and gulping down some of the liquid biting back a grimace "Jesus what is that shit Ems" Emily just smirked and leaned into her "Jack and coke, my favourite" she chuckled.

"Have you seen Naomi around, Effy said she was at the bar" Katie just looked at her an incredulous look on her face and instantly Emily recognised her mistake "what are you looking for that blonde bitch for" and she realised that although her and Katie had recently shared rare moments whereby Emily had opened up a little not once had she mentioned her growing desire for Naomi, nothing Emily said would be right so instead she just settled to shrugging and instead raised the question again "so have you seen her?" Katie just rolled her eyes and automatically took another sip of the drink gagging as she swallowed the offending liquid and thrusting the glass back at her twin.

"Yeah I saw her, she left a few minutes ago, she was well fucked Ems some bitches were carrying her out, totally out of it that blonde bitch needs to learn to handle her booze."

Who would Naomi had left with? From what Emily knew she was only here with Effy and Cook, they were the only people she had really seen the blonde with, but then she didn't know her that well anymore. She was lost in thought trying to think back to the wake, to who was there that was about the same age as them and she came up blank. The only people she had seen at the wake that were remotely close to their age had been some of the gang from college and a few of Naomi's relatives that she had met before. It just didn't make sense.

Emily spotted Effy a way off and dragged Katie off towards her much to her twin's irritation. "Who are you here with" Emily shouted at her hastily, concern etched all over her face. Effy had noted the expression and instantly she knew something was wrong she had expected to find Emily and Naomi together she hadn't expected to find the Fitch's in front of her Emily concerned and Katie looking bored as she picked at her nails.

"Just Naomes and Cook, why?" Emily looked seriously worried now and questioned again, "no one else, just you three?" Effy nodded and instantly asked without any prompting "who did she leave with" you could always rely on Effy to fill in the blanks all on her own.

Emily shook her head from side to side "I don't know, Katie said she saw her being carried out, said she was out of it" and instantly Effy rushed to the entrance of the club and by the time Emily and Katie had caught up she was sprinting down the street and turning into an alley as Emily saw in the distance a group of three girls she couldn't quite make out turning the corner. A ripple of fear spread through Emily and before she knew it Katie was being dragged towards the alley by her twin wobbling on her heels.

* * *

**So yeah a little cliff hanger for you I know I'm sorry but it just seemed right. Remember I promised no one else was getting killed off so Naomi's safe as houses.**

**Feel free to hit that review button and let me know what you think!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry about that little cliff hanger and sorry for keeping you waiting...my bad! Here goes...**

* * *

Naomi's head was foggy as she was being half walked half dragged from the club. Who would have thought that one punch in the face would have left her in the position she was now, crouched on the floor breathless and surrounded by three bitches that looked about ready to kick the living shit out of her.

She was part thankful for the fact she was half cut at least it would numb the pain a bit, something she had discovered when inflicting her own pain on herself, but that was different when she was cutting she was in control. What she knew was about to happen wasn't in her control, three against one? She didn't stand a chance and she knew it. Part of her wanted to fight back but another part of her, a darker part just wanted to let it happen. It was fucked up, Naomi knew that but it appealed to the darker side of her nature that had developed over the last year.

She had barely gotten her breathing under control when she had felt her chin pulled upwards by that bitch Mandy who virtually promised her a dose of pain followed by a side order of bruised bloody and broken. Despite her dark and inebriated state the fact that it was Mandy with the promise of hurt she felt the need to fight back overwhelm her. Pulling away from Mandy's grip defiantly she threw herself at Mandy rugby tacking her and forcing her back against the wall enjoying the 'humph' noise that echoed in the alley as Mandy hit the wall roughly.

Of course her defiance was short lived as no sooner had she rammed her captor against the wall Mandy's thug like guard dogs jumped her on with swift kicks and jabs to her ribs that all but crushed whatever remaining air she had in her lungs and once again left her fighting for breath.

"You fucking little bitch" Mandy spat at her as she rubbed at her own stomach, as much as Naomi wanted to reply she was too busy wheezing to be able to voice anything other than short sharp breath sounds that were shuddering from her body with little control. Naomi was once again braced on the floor holding her weight on her forearm with her forehead pressed to the floor. Before she had a chance to move an intense pain overtook her forearm as Mandy slammed her boot down on her arm again and again repeatedly as she shrieked in pain involuntarily.

Her arm and wrist felt as though it were on fire, a bizarre sensation as she knew she wasn't on fire but the repeated blows left her feeling skin and limb heated even though she was currently on the cold floor cradling her arm to her chest trying to protect it in any way possible.

Mandy just laughed at her as she circled around her, her guard dogs joining in "Your pathetic Campbell, a real fucking loser! No wonder Emily left you to fuck me, she used to beg me for more even when she was with you... I've never met anyone that can go at it like she can, a real firecracker in the sack!" A swift kick aimed her lower back that thudded in the night causing Naomi to arch her back in response.

"Told me she was glad to see the back of you, you cheating little whore" another couple of kicks, this time lower on her body.

"Said she wouldn't be sad if she never saw your face again" this time Mandy kicked her in the face, the force splitting her skin as she felt a trickle of hot wetness trickle down her face.

"Pick her up" Mandy ordered the other two and Naomi was roughly hauled to her feet gasping in pain as one of them grabbed her injured arm to raise her up. She struggled against the firm grip she was in but it was wasted effort she still could barely breathe each shallow intake of breath burning in her lungs as she wheezed.

Mandy paced in front of her "I don't know what she ever saw in a bitch like you" she spat at her as she slapped her in the face an instant heat rising to where it stung in the cold air. Naomi still struggled despite the growing pain in her arm that was being held in a painfully tight grip but each word coming from Mandy fuelled a fire within her, anger taking over where only defiance had resided before "really" she wheezed a little "it was only the other day that she told me she didn't know what she saw in you" a smirk on her face even though she was still audibly struggling to breathe "and that you were a royal fucking crap shag!" she knew it was a lie Emily had said nothing of the sort, they had barely exchanged a handful of words over their last encounters and not one of them had been about Emily and Mandy's sex life, Naomi didn't know what drove her to say it and she knew it was pretty stupid but she just couldn't seem to help herself.

Mandy growled in anger and swung her fist which connected solidly with Naomi's face splitting her lip open and making her jaw ache, she drew her fist back again and threw another punch this time closer to her cheekbone and then again but by this point Naomi wasn't quite able to tell exactly where she was hit as the pain had all started to blur together, her wrist, ribs, face, back, legs all of it blurring together to the point where she didn't know what bits hurt more because her whole body ached all at once.

"You're fucking lying you bitch" she screamed at her as she continued to rein her fists and feet down on Naomi "she fucking loves me, not you, you slut!" a fist connected with her temple and Naomi instantly went limp not quite unconscious but severely dazed.

She was dropped to the floor, or more accurately they stopped holding her and she simply fell to the floor not able to hold her weight up, her head feeling an intense level of pressure as though her brain was going to burst from her skull at any second.

Whilst on the floor Mandy continued to kick her screaming at her that Emily loved her or something along those lines, she wasn't quite sure anymore she felt consciousness slipping from her until the darkness took her.

* * *

When Emily had come to find her with Katie and without Naomi she knew, she could feel it deep inside that something was terribly wrong, Naomi wouldn't leave with strangers, on her own maybe but she'd never let anyone carry her out other than herself or Cook maybe but even then she'd certainly put up a good fight. If there was one thing Effy was sure of without her own powers of foresight it was Naomi's strong will and stubborn streak.

As soon as she reached the outside of the club she looked left to right in search of Naomi but no luck she couldn't see her, there were few people walking about a dull thud of the base from the club but then she saw Mandy coming from some way along the road and Effy knew well enough to know exactly where they had come from, there was only one turning off this street before the corner at the end of the road and suddenly it all made sense. Naomi hadn't been drunk to the point where she was incapable of holding herself upright when she left her, and she hadn't been helped from the club by some caring individuals, she'd be taken to somewhere more secluded but the question was what for?

As Effy ran towards the alley her head was buzzing with potential situations she would be met with as she turned the corner, but none prepared her for the sight of her friend unconscious on the floor bloody with visible bruises already forming on her alabaster skin. Many a time Effy had seen her friend's blood but never before had she seen quite so much. Instantly she rushed to Naomi's side kneeling and hesitantly reaching out a hand to sweep Naomi's hair from her face, hair that was normally bright as the sun but was now pink, stained by her own blood.

"Jesus Naomes" Effy reached a hand to check for a pulse as she leaned her ear close to her mouth to listen for breath sounds, a sigh of relief as she heard the shallow rattle resonate from Naomi's lips. It was at this point that she heard movement growing closer a scuffing and clicking of heels on the pavement growing louder, it would be Emily and Katie she was certain of it, either way it didn't matter who it was there was no way in hell she was going to leave Naomi's side.

She heard a strangled gasp and someone shriek Naomi's name almost desperately but fortunately Katie had the common sense to keep her twin at a safe distance and hold her tightly so she was facing away from Naomi. Effy and Katie's eyes met though the alley was dim they could see well enough and a nod from Effy was all it took for Katie to breathe a sigh of relief, she may not have been Naomi's biggest fan, or any sort of fan for that matter, but she wouldn't have wished this upon the blonde. Still holding Emily tightly she reached a hand into her bag and rummaged for a moment before she pulled out her phone and dialled for an ambulance her hands shaking involuntarily as she took 3 attempts to hit those 3 numbers "fucking touch screens" she muttered. As she spoke to the operator she continued to watch Effy as she pulled Naomi's head into her lap off the cold damp floor and stroke her hair checking optimistically every now and again for signs that Naomi may be waking.

When she was sure the ambulance was on her way she then turned her attention to her twin whom she had been holding firmly ever since setting eyes on Naomi.

"Ems...babe, she's gonna be okay, yeah?" she lisped reassuringly before pulling back and holding Emily at arm's length as she rubbed her hands up and down Emily's arms in a comforting manner.

"I need you to do me a favour yeah, I need you to go get Cook" Emily just turned around and stared at Naomi's unconscious form on the cold hard ground before turning back and shaking her head at Katie, she couldn't leave Naomi.

"He needs to know" Katie pleaded "and I have got a fucking clue where he is, plus you'll be much quicker than me" she pointed at her heels to highlight her point, she was lying she had a rough idea where she could find Cook but she wanted Emily out of the way just for a minute so she could talk to Effy, sending Emily off to get Cook was the perfect way. "The ambulance will be here soon" but Emily just shook her head again before voicing a barely audible "no" to her twin, it was barely louder than a whisper. She just couldn't bring herself to leave Naomi even if she wasn't close to her like Effy she was at least here for her.

Effy had overheard the conversation although not once had she lifted her watchful gaze from Naomi's face, she instantly understood what Katie was trying to do and she distantly felt that she had misunderstood the older Fitch, maybe she wasn't so much of a heartless bitch after all, under different circumstances it might have made her feel guilty for her past with Katie but not right now. Instead she decided to help get Emily to leave to get Cook, he would be devastated and somehow she knew Emily would be better placed to tell him rather than Katie, and also as Katie said, much quicker "please Emily" was all she added, but she knew it would be enough. She heard Emily's footsteps running back towards the club and the clicking of Katie's heels drawing closer before she saw Katie out of the corner of her eye lean down closer to Naomi.

Now that she could see better Katie scanned Naomi's injuries more closely, she was a mess she could already see the bruises forming underneath the dried blood and grime from the floor. She felt Effy's gaze on her and as she turned to face her steel blue eyes were boring into her soul reading her from the inside out "did you see her" she asked no hint of emotion in her voice. "No, but it was her" she nodded at Effy, the name left unspoken but not necessary, Katie knew who Effy meant and if she was 100% honest she wasn't sure, she hadn't really been looking and she definitely wasn't the one carrying her out of the club but a part of her knew this was Mandy, she didn't need to have seen her to know it. On more than one occasion Katie and Mandy had clashed and she had seen the darker side to Emily's now ex-girlfriend, Mandy was more than capable of doing something like this.

Effy nodded as she turned her gaze back to the blonde in her arms "don't tell anyone" was the last thing she said before the pair of them waited with concern for the others and the ambulance, fortunately they didn't have to wait long. The ambulance arrived first and they made short work of getting Naomi on the stretcher and hooking her up to various machines that would monitor her vitals much more accurately than Effy's constant checking, just as they were moving to load Naomi into the ambulance Emily and Cook finally returned which was probably a blessing as at least Cook didn't have opportunity to react to Naomi out cold on the floor, he was almost franticly shaking with rage and worry all at once, it was rare to see any emotion from cook apart from his usually cocky smirk and I don't give a fuck attitude. He just held a strong arm wrapped around Emily's shoulders as he watched Effy join Naomi in the ambulance and the flashes of blue lights head off into the distance.

* * *

Katie equally had made short work of hailing a taxi and before any of them knew it they were all at the hospital, Effy seated calmly staring at the wall in front of her in silence, and Katie and Emily huddled close with each other for comfort. Cook however was anxiously pacing up and down the waiting room frustrated and feeling completely useless.

Cook swung a fist at the wall in frustration "what the fucks taking so long" his outburst caused Katie and Emily to jump but Effy barely reacted her gaze was fixated on something in front of her though what it was none of the others knew. Cook finally finished pacing and slumped into a chair instead tapping his feet on the floor not able to contain his concern this however grated on Katie's nerves and it wasn't long before she let out a loud and angry sigh "fucking sit still, you're driving me nuts!" Cook just stared at her like he was going to jump from his seat and rip her head off at first but instead he just ignored her and continued to bounce his feet on the floor nervously.

Another ten minutes or so passed, but to the four of them it felt like an eternity, finally a doctor arrived looking at a set of notes in his hand.

"Miss...Stonem I presume" he asked staring at Effy who had accompanied Naomi to the hospital, she stood instantly and moved towards him along with Cook.

"Miss Campbell will be fine, she has a severe concussion as well as the obvious. We're going to keep her for a couple of days just for observation" a bright smile was evident on his face, it was clear that this is what he lived for, telling people that their loved ones were going to be okay.

"Can we see her" Katie asked the doctor whilst still holding Emily's hand tightly in her own hoping the answer would be yes for her twin's sake.

"Are you family?" the doctor asked Katie but before she had a chance to reply Cook spoke "We're all her family" spoken firmly "we're all she's got" was added quieter after.

The doctors expression saddened for a moment, he had taken a look at Naomi's chart, seen that her next of kin had only been recently updated and he felt a sense of pride that her friends cared for her so "well in that case then yes you can, but two at a time and only briefly she is still barely conscious and will need her rest so I would ask that you don't disturb her for long, visiting hours are two till eight tomorrow" and with that he added a final smile and left to treat his next patient a bounce in his step at having delivered good news for the first time that evening.

It was unspoken, Effy and Cook would see her first but they wouldn't stay long, Naomi remembered very little about the attack or that's what she said, Effy thought otherwise but she would talk to Naomi privately later, they both understood that Cook could be rather hot headed and would more than likely end up in trouble if Naomi told him the truth, Cook left first giving Effy and Naomi a moment together alone.

Effy looked at her friend with saddened eyes a tear sliding from the corner and gently rolling down her cheek. Naomi would have reached a hand up to wipe the tear away, it was so uncharacteristic for Effy to cry that she felt an automatic need to comfort her friend but the pain and tightness in her ribs coupled with the exhaustion that she felt meant that she had to leave the tear to run its course.

Effy looked at her hands that had been recently covered in Naomi's dried blood, and Naomi understood "I know" she said she understood that it hadn't been the first time Naomi's blood had been in her hands but this time it had been real and dangerous. "You scared the shit out of Naomes" she voiced as another tear leaked from her eye and ran partly down her cheek before she swiped angrily at it. Naomi just gave Effy a half hearted smile but instantly winced at the pain that it caused, stretching the cut on her lip which was angry and swollen as was much of her face along with a nasty black eye that was currently angry and purple and caused her eye to be almost swollen shut.

"Mandy" Effy asked no further comment needed, Naomi just shared a look with her that was answer enough before she leaned her head back on the pillow and closed her eyes not able to fight the exhaustion anymore. Effy leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to the most untouched piece of skin she could find on the blonde and then left.

Emily and Katie were then next to visit, but by this point Naomi was so out of it that their presence wasn't recognised. Emily spent the time holding Naomi's free hand and drawing light circles with her thumb across the back of her hand. She took the time to survey the blonde whilst she continued to trace circles on her hand careful to be gentle.

Naomi's right hand was firmly encased in a cast, broken she presumed but how she was unsure and if she was honest she wasn't sure that she wanted to know, at least not yet. Her body was covered so she couldn't see anything but from the shallow breath sounds she presumed that there must be some serious bruising and maybe even broken ribs beneath the covers. Moving up to her face she was glad Naomi was asleep as she grimaced in concern at the sight before her. Naomi's beautiful skin was a multitude of colours bruises already tainting her pale skin along with numerous cuts and scratches, one particular cut ran through her eyebrow and held 3 stitches whilst her lip which was swollen looked raw and sore.

She wondered idly who had caused so much damage to the blonde and exactly what Naomi had done to be on the receiving end of it. It wasn't a robber or mugging as Naomi's bag had still been on her with all her possessions and from what they had pieced together Naomi had been singled out specifically from a crowded club. It just didn't make sense.

It was so unfair, tonight was Emily's opportunity to maybe spend some time with the blonde, she had in some way bridged a gap with Effy though they had never been particularly close she understood that Naomi and Effy were like sisters now that the jealousy had subsided. Watching Effy caring for Naomi in the alley had been clear that there was nothing more than sibling love between them, the same as there was between Cook as well.

She was glad, glad that Naomi had at least had someone there for her all this time, she had often wondered how Naomi was, if she was okay, but they were brief moments that she pushed aside because they carried too much pain and anger with them that it was easier to just not think about it.

Emily continued to tracer her gaze down Naomi's face and finally back towards where her hand was still gently tracing circles on Naomi's arm and its then that she noticed something on Naomi's left arm, barely visible through the bruising that covered her forearm but she could just about make it out, a frown caused creases to appear on her forehead, it had taken her a moment or two to identify what they were but she wasn't mistaken, they were scars, some pale and old and others pinker and more recent. She crossed her gaze over the skin and there were so many that she tried to not think about how they came to be but it was inevitable. These weren't from Gina, they were too old, too healed and she had never noticed them before they left, which could mean only one thing.

Guilt flooded her mind as she realised that she was responsible for them.

**

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**

**So as promised Naomi is fine and dandy, if not a little bruised and shacked up in hospital, but it won't be for long.**

**I know I know, still with the angst but I just can't seem to help myself I love the idea of a broken Naomi it just completely appeals to me...**

**Speaking of which encase you haven't spotted it yourself there is an interview on After Ellen about a short film Lily Loveless filmed in between series 3 & 4 called Seven PM you should check it out, it's totally worth it even just to see the pictures of Lily! =D **

**I know I know you can thank me later or you can thank me now by leaving me a review, they are my drug...I just can't get enough!**


	12. Chapter 12

**I know I say this every time that I update but I am extremely sorry for the delay! I've half known what I wanted to write in this chapter and the rest I figured would write itself once I got going but I seriously lacked the time to actually sit down and write it and because I wrote it in bits and pieces when I got a spare half an hour the other half didn't write itself so easily!**

**Anyway it's the longest chapter I've written so far, so I hope that makes up for the lack of updates...**

**Thanks also for the reviews it really does help motivate someone to write!**

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Naomi had spent the next day or so drifting in out of consciousness, her moments awake had seemed somewhat fuzzy, she vaguely remembered someone holding her hand, tracing lazily on her palm and forearm, and distantly someone stoking her hair she wasn't quite sure. She remembered voices, people talking to her or possibly talking to each other near her, probably the nurses and doctors. But oddly there was something that had caught her fuzzy vision...red...she was sure of it but where it had come from she didn't know, but the effect was instant, her thoughts and dreams were all filled with red.

Naomi woke once again to the gentle but rhythmic beat of machines and an uncomfortable amount of pain. She blinked at the early morning sunlight sneaking its way in through a gap in the hideously coloured hospital curtains and instantly she regretted it, her eye which was badly swollen was throbbing with pain as was much of her body for that matter along with a nauseating sickness that was swimming around her and an aching that she felt wouldn't leave for some time.

"Morning sleeping beauty" a rather chipper nurse beamed at her a little too loudly which caused Naomi to groan as the sound of her eerily bright voice reverberated around her heavy head.

"Not a morning person then? Me neither, I hate them, that's why I work the night shift" the nurse continued ignoring the death glare that Naomi was attempting to send her way, she figured it didn't have much effect when it was only partly delivered due to the swelling which had overtaken her face, that and she just lacked the energy to actually put any real effort into it.

Naomi just remained rested back against the pillow and closed her eyes as she listened to the overly noisy nurse bustle around her.

"Quite a group of friends you've got young lady, though that boy punching hospital property..." Naomi smiled involuntarily and then she hissed as the action caused the cut in her lip to split ever so slightly. She darted a pink tongue out to trace along the injury a metallic coppery taste instantly filling her senses, both familiar and not all at the same time.

"Careful dear, don't want to open that up again" she pointed at Naomi's lip with her pen that she was using to write down notes on her chart. "Anyway as I was saying lovely group, especially the girls, much better behaved than that terrible boy" Naomi noted the term 'girls' ... plural...that meant someone else had been here, she only remembered seeing Effy and Cook...who else would have been here? Naomi's heart rate quickened as she considered the prospect that Mandy may have been here to survey her handiwork, but surely she wouldn't have been stupid enough to show her face in the hospital, especially risking running into Effy or Cook.

The nurses attention focused on the monitors had noticed Naomi's increased heartbeat "everything alright dear, want something for the pain?" Naomi nodded, she wasn't really one for taking pain killers, well not for anything other than hangovers and headaches but she didn't feel like explaining what was wrong to the rather annoying nurse so agreeing just seemed easier, that and she was in quite a lot of pain, though it wasn't unbearable just uncomfortable.

Naomi took the offered pain killers, grimacing at the chalky taste as she swallowed them "thanks" she whispered her voice hoarse from not being used for a while.

"You're welcome" miss bright and breezy replied before setting the glass on the side with a loud thud which made Naomi jump just a little and groan again as her ribs shot with pain at the action. "There there" she added whilst patting Naomi on the arm in complete ignorance of the bruises she was currently thudding with her chubby fingers.

"My shift finishes in half hour, hopefully I won't see you again Miss Campbell, no more drunkenness and fighting young lady" she gave her a stern motherly look, raised eyebrows and all before flashing a bright smile and practically skipping from her room. _Fucking Weirdo _Naomi thought, but she felt a smile tug at her lips too, the prospect of going home implied in her farewell was enough to lift her spirits. If there was one thing Naomi hated it was hospitals, even the smell of them creeped her out just a little and made her feel ever so slightly nauseous.

The next few hours dragged by with little excitement except for the doctor confirming that she was given the all clear and free to go as soon as someone arrived to collect her however she had an appointment with the fracture clinic to have her cast changed once the swelling had reduced in a couple of days. That was in the morning, and visiting hours weren't till two, which meant that Naomi had a good four hours or so left with nothing but her thoughts to keep her company now that bright and breezy had left.

Her mind drifted back to the other night, things were still fairly foggy, however she kept replaying bits of the attack over and over in her head, the most painful of which dull in her mind like when Mandy used her arm as an extra in her own version of stomp. But there was once specific point which replayed over in her mind, the point at which Mandy threatened to hurt Emily if Naomi even hinted Mandy's name towards the police. She wasn't sure what fucked her off more, the fact that Mandy had managed to use her face and body as a punching bag or that there was nothing that Naomi could do about it for fear of Emily being hurt. She sighed angrily ignoring the burning in her chest from the large inhale and exhale of sterile air.

"Miss me that much Naomes" she heard Effy's voice before she saw her but instantly she turned her head around to see her friend walking towards her pushing a wheelchair with a bag in her hand. She half smiled at Effy eternally grateful for everything that the brunette done for her, she was sure that the person she had felt comforting her over the last couple of days had been Effy, Cook didn't strike her as the type to sit by your hospital bed, but more the person doing everything in his power to find out who was responsible for putting you there and then giving them a taste of their own medicine.

"Like you wouldn't believe Ef...please tell me you have a fag on you?" Naomi asked eagerly hoping and praying that her saviour wouldn't let her down.

"I might do, but first, let's get you out of that overly flattering hospital gown and into these less flattering things you try and pass off as 'clothes'" she pulled the clothes from the bag and waved them at Naomi "stretchy...figured it would be easier and more comfortable" she added with a coy smile, and Naomi found herself smiling gently back at her friend. "So where do we start?" she asked and tilted her head to the side as she tried to decide where would be best.

"You can start by shutting the door and pulling the curtain across" Naomi added not wanting to display herself to the entire hospital if it could be helped.

Effy shut the door and pulled the curtain across slightly as Naomi shuffled to the side of the bed her broken arm resting on her lap and proving a hindrance in her ability to move herself around, finally reaching the edge she gently swung her legs off and let them dangle over the edge of the bed, Effy took this as an opportunity to slip Naomi's trousers over her feet so she could then pull them up as Naomi finally stood from the bed, she took note of every single bruise she saw across Naomi's pale legs and bit back her rising anger towards Mandy.

Helping Naomi to her feet steadying her as a wave of dizziness took the blonde over for a second or two she then reached down and pulled Naomi's trousers up before reaching around and undoing the tie at the back of the hospital gown and gently pulling it forward being careful to not hurt the blonde, she left the cast till last, a little trickier to extract the gown from, finally done she guided Naomi back to rest against the bed as she reached for the top she had brought with her.

Naomi had been watching Effy's face carefully, watching for her reaction but she wasn't surprised to not see one, her ribs and torso were a patchwork of blues, purples and greens all varying shades of bruising most prominent around the two broken ribs she had received. However Effy made no comment just made short work of getting Naomi dressed and into the wheelchair so she could get her home.

"Errr Ef...where's my shoes?" Naomi asked looking around and not seeing anything that resembled footwear, the clothes Naomi had come to the hospital in had been disposed of meaning that she had nothing to wear other than the rough and harsh material of the hospital gowns, she assumed a similar fate had met her shoes.

Effy just bit her lip and then chuckled to herself a little "um at home..." she added with a sheepish shrug to which Naomi found adorable and would have laughed along with her if it wasn't for her sore ribs so instead she settled on smiling at her foolish friend. "Come on, let's get out of here, you definitely owe me that fag now."

"Aye aye Captain" Effy replied as she clicked her heels together and saluted Naomi before shoving Naomi's painkillers in the bag and then pushing her friend towards the exit.

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The ride home had been painful, Naomi had grit her teeth as every bump in the road like a jab directly to her injuries but fortunately the journey had been relatively quick with little traffic interrupting their path and the short walk into the house had left Naomi exhausted but it felt good to be home and away from the awful smell that always accompanied hospitals.

It didn't take long for Naomi to drift off to sleep on the sofa Effy smiled at the slumbering blonde and left her to sleep busying herself throughout the house until a knock at the door disturbed her.

She was surprised when opening the door to a cocky and sheepish looking pair of Fitches.

"Alright bitch, aren't you going to invite us in? I'm freezing my tits off out here" Katie asked flashing Effy a smile.

"Maybe you should try wearing more clothes then Katiekins" Effy noted as she stepped aside to let the twins in, Emily nodding her head in thanks and Katie just barging past as heels clicked loudly on the wooden floor towards the kitchen whilst Emily hesitated in the doorway to quickly survey the slumbering blonde before joining her twin at the kitchen table.

Effy joined them at the table and reached across pulling her cigarettes towards her and taking one out before offering the open pack to the others.

"So...how's the patient?" Katie asked.

Effy exhaled the smoke from her lungs in one long drawn out breath "Asleep"

"Well duh I can see that" she rolled her eyes at the rather obvious response.

"She's okay I guess, tired mostly she's been asleep ever since we got in"

"Excellent, grab your coat bitch I've got a job for you" Effy raised her eyebrows in question "don't worry Emsy here will watch your beloved Naomi, she'll be just fine" Effy turned her gaze to watch Emily's reaction but the redheads eyes were downcast staring at something interesting on the table.

"And where exactly are we going?" Effy asked taking another drag on her cigarette.

"To see a man about a dog" Katie replied with a wink as she took Effy's cigarette from her and stubbed it out in the ashtray "come on bitch get a move on, I'm driving" at this point Emily sniggered a little but quickly covered it up with a light cough.

Effy and Katie headed for the door leaving Emily seated at the kitchen table as she stared out the window after dismissing them both "so where are we really going" she asked closing the door behind her and walking to Katie's car.

"I told you, were going to see a dog...and were going to put her back on her leash" Effy smirked she definitely had miss judged the older Fitch, slipping into the passenger seat she strapped in and smiled, Katie-Fucking-Fitch was a force to be reckoned with Mandy wouldn't know what hit her.

Emily stayed seated at table for some time lost in her thoughts wondering how exactly had she ended up here again, her sister and Effy out doing god knows what and Naomi...she was here in the same house as Naomi she just couldn't quite fathom it. Although things were different, they felt oddly the same it was a little unsettling but at the same time comforting, a bizarre sensation. Finally breaking herself from her musings Emily rose from the table and made herself a hot mug of tea after taking a few attempts at finding everything she needed before heading in to the lounge.

Her drink cupped within her hands she stood in the doorway looking around at her surroundings, things hadn't really changed here they weren't different from how she remembered Gina's house to be when she used to spend time here with Naomi the summer after the love ball, once again she felt that familiar feeling of things being the same but different at the same time, because there was no Gina, but everything about this house screamed Gina to her.

Walking into the lounge she glanced at Naomi still asleep on the couch and then headed to the mantel surveying the pictures, she took a tentative sip from her cup as she scanned her eyes across the photos before placing it down so she could pick one up. It was one of the whole gang, taken before the whole fiasco in the woods when the fateful rock incidence had occurred that had landed Katie in hospital.

She was stood to the left of the photo in between JJ and Naomi, she remembered the photo being taken, remembered being pressed up so close to Naomi that it set her skin on fire from the faintest of touches. She also remembered that she had even shuffled closer to the blonde trying to increase the contact which was completely childish but still it made her smile just a little.

Placing the photo down, she picked her mug back up and gazed at a photo of Naomi and her mum, two radiant strong willed women were staring out of the picture where they were stood together at a protest Naomi with her infamous pig t-shirt on waving her fist in the air whilst her other hand was grasped with Gina's her blue eyes were bright and full of life and excitement at the thrill she so clearly received from doing something she loved. Emily continued to stare into the photo lost in her memories of Gina and her questions surrounding Naomi's self inflicted injuries that she hadn't quite been able to shake from her mind. No matter how hard she tried to think of something else the same question would appear at the front of her mind desperate for answers. Lost in her thoughts yet again she didn't notice Naomi stir on the sofa behind her, the blonde took a few moments to wake fully she felt stiff. Finally blinking her eyes open she saw Emily stood right there and she wondered idly if she were still asleep and this was a dream but a deep intake of breath told her instantly that it wasn't as she felt her body protest against the action.

Instead she just continued to lay there staring at Emily's back, watching the way the remaining light bounced off her hair, at her posture the way she would tilt her head to the side every now and again as if deep in thought and the gentle slurps that she presumed were Emily sipping a hot drink, something that she had always found adorable if not a little irritating.

"You know stalking's a crime right? And generally people do it much better than you..." Naomi asked after what felt like endless minutes of staring at Emily.

Emily whipped around quickly and as she turned the hot liquid from her cup sloshed over the rim onto her hand and then over her top slightly "fuck...shit...you scared the shit out of me!" she protested embarrassed and red faced at being caught in the act as she rubbed her hand across her leg wiping the liquid from it and then surveying the stain on her top.

Naomi just watched amusement in her eyes, despite her most uncomfortable position, waking up to find Emily in front of her had left her in a surprisingly good mood. She tried to shuffle her way up into a seated position but she was so stiff and lacked any strength in her left arm to provide herself some leverage that she wasn't really making any headway. Emily however had been watching her and instantly had put her cup down and walked over to the sofa to help Naomi but not quite sure how and instead just ended up standing there watching the blonde shuffle until she was almost upright.

Naomi's breath was now slightly laboured and her hand clutched to her ribs explained it all "is there something I can get you?" Emily asked concern etched on her face along with an eager look to do something useful instead of standing there like a statue. Naomi nodded "could you get me some painkillers and some water?" Emily nodded and headed for the kitchen to fetch them glad to be doing something to help. When she returned she found Naomi sitting a little more upright and she handed her the painkillers first which Naomi threw in her mouth and then the water so she could take a sip to swallow the tablets. "Thanks" Naomi replied as she continued to sip the water and rub gently at her ribs as if it would sooth the ache beneath.

"So...where is everyone?" Naomi asked before taking another sip of water, Emily by this point had walked back across to pick up her tea which she had discarded earlier and she once again held the cup in her hands before she took a seat across from Naomi on the floor, her legs crossed Indian style. "Believe it or not, Effy and Katie are out...together..."

"What?"

"Yep, I was shocked too, Katie said that Effy wouldn't want to leave you alone and that she needed her for something...wouldn't say what, so she asked me if I'd come here and stay with you, you know to make sure you were okay and everything."

In an instant Naomi's good mood deflated a little, for a moment there she thought that Emily had been here for her, to see how she was, but really she was just here for a favour to Katie, nothing to do with seeing how Naomi was, in fact she was probably here to make sure that Naomi wasn't going to dob her girlfriend in.

Naomi nodded "well I'm okay thanks, you can go if you want I'm sure you've got better places to be" sadness evident in her voice.

"Not really" Emily replied with a slight shrug of her shoulders, Naomi just nodded again not really sure how to take that comment. She was so confused, she wondered if this was what it was like after being concussed, not quite knowing what going on? That last comment landed more on the side of fantasy it made her feel like Emily wanted to be here for her, rather than just being here for Katie.

"What happened Naomes" Emily asked, her eyes trained on Naomi's her gaze unwavering, Naomi had been so consumed in her own thoughts, trying to figure Emily out that the question took her by surprise as well as the use of her old nickname that was only ever really used by Effy now. Mandy's threat was still clear in her mind, tell anyone and Emily 'gets it' it was a clear warning and as much as she wanted to tell Emily the truth, to tell her that her girlfriend was a real piece of work and a right royal bitch she feared for Emily's safety more.

"Wrong place, wrong time I guess."

Emily seemed to buy it and if not she didn't press the issue any further, instead she turned her gaze to her cup swilling the now cold liquid around.

Naomi watched her from the sofa as she tried to press her little finger under the end of her cast to rub at a rather itchy spot just out of her reach, she decided to change the subject to a safer topic, that and the silence in the room was deafening.

"So Katie and Effy, when did they become best buds...?" Naomi asked whilst she continued to try and worm her finger deeper under the cast.

"Dunno, it just kind of happened when they found you in the alley, I've never seen Katie like that before" The news took Naomi by surprise, Katie and Emily had been there? Effy hadn't mentioned it, but then they hadn't really talked much and what they had said she couldn't really remember clearly it was all a bit fuzzy around the edges...and in the middle.

"You were there?"

"Yeah...it was...well you know...scary I guess I've never seen ..." she drifted off not able to put into words what she was trying to convey.

"Sorry" Naomi added sheepishly she felt pretty stupid and for some reason guilty for the distress she seemed to have caused the redhead and probably her twin, she wondered how Emily would feel if she knew that it was her girlfriend that had caused it and she felt then a little angry that she was here apologising to Emily when really she was a little bit responsible for what happened, although she didn't want Emily to know that.

"It's not your fault, not like you asked for it" Emily replied a light smile gracing her features and Naomi's anger evaporated immediately.

Silence filled the room again as Emily picked at her chipped nail varnish her cup now discarded on the floor. "Listen Naomes, there's something that I wanted to ask you..." she hesitated, not sure if she should ask Naomi or not, not sure if she had a right to ask Naomi something so personal but she needed to know, she felt so responsible that it was eating away at her little by little and she couldn't really focus on anything else. But how was she meant to ask her? How do you ask someone if they have been hurting themselves and how do you ask them why they've been doing it?

Naomi waited patiently for the question, wondering what it was that Emily felt so important to ask, and what was apparently causing such difficulty to voice.

But it was then that Emily heard distantly the rustle of a key in the door followed by the increasing sound of laughter as Katie and Effy had arrived back home and she felt almost relieved for the interruption, as much as she wanted to know she just didn't know how to ask her, at least not yet.

"She's awake! Babes you look like shit" Katie remarked sarcastically from the doorway as Effy walked past her and plonked herself down on an empty armchair a smile on her face.

"Good to see you too Katiekins, I see you're still slaughtering leopards left right and centre?"

"You know me, always like to do my bit for the animals" she winked at Naomi before rubbing her hands across her leopard print handbag and chuckling a bit.

"Love to stay and chat but I'm starving and mums six seater table waits for no one, come on Emsy"

Naomi watched the redhead rise from the floor and head towards her twin she was still curious as to what Emily had wanted to ask her but apparently whatever it was didn't seem that important as she said her goodbyes along with Katie and left without another word a moment later the door clicking shut. Naomi instead turned her attention to her cheerful friend across from her.

"Good night?" she asked Effy who just smiled back at her.

"Something like that..."

"Do I want to know?" Naomi asked.

"Probably not"

Naomi nodded more than a little curious not able to ignore whatever it was that was that had left Effy in such a good mood "So you and Katie then?"

"You and Emily?" Effy countered smugly

Naomi shook her head gently from side to side "she was here because Katie asked her" her voice laced with sadness she hadn't even bothered to try and hide.

"You're an idiot if you really believe that she was here just because Katie asked her to, she isn't Katie's little lapdog anymore Naomes" Naomi frowned thinking about it, Effy was right it did seem an odd thing for Emily to do considering the fact that she had a girlfriend, one who definitely wouldn't approve of her Naomi sitting.

"Ex-girlfriend" Effy spoke aloud, breaking Naomi's thoughts.

"What?" Naomi asked confused.

"I said Ex-girlfriend" Effy repeated.

"Huh?" Naomi asked still not quite understanding what Effy was going on about.

"Emily and the bitch are no more...Ex-girlfriend!

Naomi's mouth made a little 'Oh' shape but she didn't actually make a sound.

Now she was completely confused, Emily and Mandy were broken up? Was that why Mandy attacked her? Or was just a crazy psycho bitch? When did they break up? Why did they break up? What was Emily doing here? Was it just for Katie or was it something else like Effy implied? None of it really made any sense and the more Naomi thought about it and tried to figure one out another two were created in its place, none of which was helping her already tired mind.

Effy just sat there watching her friend whose brow was creased as she sat there in silence. She felt a bit mean landing that piece of information on Naomi when she was in a rather fragile state but she had watched Naomi tiptoe around Emily recently trying to not tease herself with something out of her reach.

She smiled to herself, maybe now things would be different...

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**So the cats out the bag and Naomily are obstacle free but will they get their shit sorted out?**

**I have to say I'm not really happy with this chapter it was a lot harder to write than I expected as I don't want to just throw Naomi and Emily back together because it would just feel a bit fake to me so I'm sorry if you feel like I've dragged it out a bit, and thanks for sticking with me!**

**As for updates I don't think they will be that much quicker as I'm working full time plus just started studying part time again too and I have exams to sit in a couple of months, so yeah it's a bit on the crazy side. I will however do my best to get an update to you as quick as I can.**

**Plus you know how to motivate me...right? ;o)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks again for your reviews, it really does motivate me to write more =D**

**Here goes!...**

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Effy was infuriating. How could she just dump unceremoniously on Naomi that little piece of information that gave her hope 'Ex-girlfriend' it gave Naomi hope that maybe there could be a chance for her and Emily and now it was as though a spark had ignited within the ashes of her past and at first it had just smouldered a little puffing out little wisps of smoke little thoughts of what could be but they were so close to what Naomi believed could have been that they were bearable something she had learnt to push aside and ignore or find a way to distract herself from them.

But gradually as time continued the hint of a fire had received bursts of oxygen, little moments when Naomi had been thinking and over analysing the times she had seen Emily, the things that they had said and the way she had acted. Like the moment that Emily had caressed her face, the concern in her eyes the last time she had seen her, they were like throwing oil on an open flame instead of water, and slowly that little smouldering ash had starting to burn uncontrollably inside her. Burning her piece by piece as it craved some form of release, as it craved some piece of Emily, something tangible, not faint smiles implied care or brief touches that left her skin tingling and jittery and desperate for more like an addict.

It was infuriating and it was driving her insane, stuck with the same four walls to keep her company thanks to Mandy and her bitches, Naomi had no one else to distract her mind from its own tantalising musings of what could be and what her head told her should be with Emily. Effy was at Uni increasing her powers of perception and deception not that they needed increasing in her opinion which left Naomi solitary and if she carried on much longer thinking these thoughts well on her way to the mental ward where Effy could continue to practice her skills on her.

She needed a distraction and cigarettes just weren't quite having the same effect they used maybe it was because she couldn't draw the smoke into her lungs as deeply as before also she seemed incapable to roll a decent spliff thanks to the cast on her arm, she felt like a bloody invalid and had totally taken for granted what having two fully functioning arms meant and coupled with broken ribs it made it even worse. Never before had she relied so heavily on Effy, stupid things like washing your hair had seemed so simple before but now they were bordering on krypton factor levels and despite how hard she worked her left hand into her hair and scalp her hair just didn't _feel_ clean, not really really clean like it used to. Oh and cleaning your teeth that was a joke Naomi was almost desperate to be left handed, as at least then maybe she would be able to co-ordinate such a simple action with more skill than ending up rubbing the brush angrily over her gums in temper.

Texting though, at least texting she could still do with her right hand, it was almost like granny texting though, prodding one finger on each letter rather than fluidly tapping away, it was certain she wasn't going to win any competitions. Pulling her phone from her pocket she tapped a message out to Cook in the hope that he would at least be free to keep her company or more importantly keep her distracted. She sent the message and then went to make a drink, yet another distraction to stop her mind from steaming back to Emily full force which felt inevitable, it was just a matter of time.

Cook however came through having a day off work and eager to play Naomi's protector and saviour for the day, for some stupid reason Cook felt responsible for her injuries and despite how many times she and Effy would tell him it wasn't his fault he would ignore it and feel guilty for fucking some girl whilst someone else beat the living shit out of her. Fortunately Cook's detective skills were sorely lacking, that and most of the people he ended up asking if they had seen anything had been women and had then made another notch on the headboard of James Cook, which however worked out perfectly for Naomi and Effy who had decided that it was a good idea that he didn't find out who it was and although Naomi was pissed that Mandy was going to get away with it, it just didn't feel worth the risk, dicing with her own life was one thing, but risking someone else's especially Emily's just wasn't an option.

Effy however didn't seem particularly phased by Mandy or the threat Mandy had made when Naomi had finally confessed it to her. It was bizarre, here Naomi was cooped up inside, not afraid to go outside but not keen to either, she still felt rather fragile her ribs causing discomfort while her bruises had turned to more of a yellow colour which in Naomi's opinion were pretty revolting looking but on the plus side at least they were healing. The cuts and scratches were well on their way to healing, her stitches gone and a pink line now ran through her eyebrow, which secretly she thought looked okay, unique at least maybe even a little sexy...no surely not sexy.

As for her arm, her cast had been changed and she now sported a bright blue cast, apparently to match her eyes or so Effy had said, Naomi herself didn't much care what colour it was, she was tempted to just go with black but Effy had insisted.

Sitting at the kitchen table Naomi alternated between sipping her drink and ramming a biro down her cast to scratch at the itchy skin beneath, she almost wished that her mum had used to knit, at least then there would have been knitting needles, they would have been way more effective than a crummy biro. Her frantic jamming of the biro was interrupted by a knock at the door which Naomi left to answer an almost bounce in her step at the prospect of having some actual human company.

"Naomikins babe!" Cook beamed at her from the doorstep, almost crushing her in a hug but fortunately remembering her ribs before he squeezed.

Naomi beamed at him, well he would have noticed if he could have seen her face, she hadn't seen Cook a lot lately not really since they had moved back to Bristol full time, just the odd couple of visits but he had been so busy with whatever this new job of his was that he wasn't around in the day, and whenever they had been out together, more often than not Cook had vanished to get his dick damp as he would put it.

"Fuck I've missed you" Naomi spoke aloud as she pulled back from Cooks embrace, not even considering holding back how much she had missed her friend.

"Course you have, all the girls miss the Cookie Monster, but somehow babes I don't think I can willy waggle with you, I might break your muff along with everything else!" He added a rather crude hip thrust gesture to back up his point, which just resulted in Naomi rolling her eyes and Cook giving his trademark cocky bellowing laugh before following the blonde over the threshold.

"So whats on the menu for today then blondie?" Cook asked eagerly before taking a seat at the kitchen table with Naomi who had resumed her frantic biro scratch. He pulled a fag from his pocket and sparked up drawing the smoke into his lungs and exhaling slowly watching the way the smoke lingered in the air before finally dissipating.

"Well first you're going to roll me one of them" Naomi pushed her spliff tin across the table towards Cook "and then we are going to have a little bit of fucking fun for a change, I'm so sick and tired of sitting here doing fuck all and if I see one more iota of daytime TV I'm going to phone up Jeremy Kyle and tell him what a royal cock sucking wanker he is and that he needs to be shot just like all the other fuckers that go on there."

Cook bellowed with laughter banging his palm on the table spilling ash all over the wood "You're fucking hilarious!" Naomi smiled back at him, mostly because he was well in the process of rolling her spliff before lighting it up and passing it across to Naomi who took a long toke ignoring the tension in her ribs because it was worth the pain, cigarettes weren't worth the added pain, but this was different it would be worth it.

The next few hours passed in a fairly normal fashion, Cook filling Naomi in on his latest conquests and Naomi making disgusted faces and ashamed head shakes which just fuelled Cooks cocky expression and lead to more outrageous stories and details that Naomi needed to scrub from her brain at the earliest opportunity.

Fortunately the spliffs had taken great effect and Naomi was at least feeling much more relaxed and calm of course this may have been helped by the beers that Cook had been fetching like a good little lap dog, and although Emily's fire raged within her still the heat from it was more of a gentle warming than a scalding burning and it was almost enjoyable, most definitely back to the bearable stage.

Cook downed the last of his beer and slammed the bottle back on the table before belching loudly "Pig" Naomi grunted with a half smile half grimace, it was pretty gross but it was so just cookish that she couldn't help but smile, he waggled his eyebrows and then stretched before rising and heading to the fridge to get another. "Fuck!" he slammed the door shut and Naomi just chuckled gently at his pouty face at finding he fridge empty "anything a bit stronger about?" he asked to which she shook her head from side to side whilst still chuckling gently holding her ribs although she couldn't control the giggling that had taken hold, maybe the spliff hadn't been such a great idea after all

"Right then lets get the fuck out of here and go fucking mental, whatdya say Naomikins, you up for it?" he raised his eyebrows expectantly and then grinned a toothy grin at her waiting eagerly for her answer, she just stared in disbelief a little fearful to leave the comfort of the four walls she had felt imprisoned in, ironic really.

"You're joking right?" she asked already knowing the answer but feeling she should ask anyway.

"Fuck no babes, were out of booze and I'm fucking parched, dry as a nun and around Cookie that never happens the girls are always wet for me" cue eyebrow waggle and check..._Ewwwww _thought Naomi, she loved Cook she really did but sometimes he could be really sick.

"I can barely walk up the fucking stairs how the fuck do you expect me to go out you prick?" Naomi protested, fear barely hidden in her voice.

"A taxi?" Cook added helpfully with a rather chuffed expression on his face, she felt she was fighting a losing battle here...

"And where the fuck are we supposed to go, I can't exactly go out clubbing you cock plus I look like fucking shit, have you seen my face?" Cook frowned a little and Naomi felt triumphant, she had found a flaw in Cooks plan a loophole to save her, but her happiness was short lived as she saw his expression change, she could almost see the light bulb above his head light up and a little ping sound echo in the kitchen.

"Keith's! Uncle Keith's, we can go there, it's never really busy plus seats and more importantly there's beer! It'll be just like going round a mates house really!"

_Fuck...shit bollocks wanking twatting fuck_ Naomi thought, he had to come up with a bloody answer and she had no more excuses that would come fresh to her drug filled mind that appeared to have taken this precise opportunity to take a nap. She sighed defeated and instantly Cook punched his fist in the air and went to call for a taxi before walking back in the room with her sneakers in hand and a jacket with a cheesy expression on his face before swivelling her chair around with surprising strength and unlacing her sneakers before slipping them on and lacing them back up loosely. Naomi just sighed she actually felt a little overwhelmed at such a caring gesture from Cook, I mean how many guys will lace up your boots? Of course she wasn't going to tell him that.

Next he helped her slip her jacket on and then held a hand out to her before helping her up "Your carriage awaits..." before bowing and then smirking at her from beneath his eyelashes.

"Cock" she replied before walking to grab her bag and mentally steeling herself for leaving her prison of protection and stepping back to the real world with Cook hot on her heels.

* * *

Walking into the pub had felt awkward, she felt uneasy and if she was honest totally scared shitless, she stood their sheepishly, feeling as though every pair of eyes in the entire pub were on her, looking at her and analysing her, she froze up a little and Cook must have sensed her apprehension and fear as he slipped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her gently to a booth near the back of the pub secluded and more private. He then slipped her jacket off and passed her a lit cigarette which she took with a trembling hand and pulled to her lips instantly drawing the smoke in and letting the nicotine rush over her, helping to sooth her nervous state. Cook just watched her with concern as she took toke after toke of the smoke but finally felt relieved as he saw the tension in her face begin to relax slightly. "Thanks..." she whispered to which he just smiled in return before heading to the bar and coming back with 2 pints and a couple of shots...for himself of course.

Naomi took a while to relax fully but when she had she wondered what all the fuss and worry had been about, she was a idiot to be afraid it was just like old times here in the pub having a laugh and a general good time as Cook told her countless stories and jokes of varying levels of crudeness ranging from gross to truly fucking discussing and should be made illegal to even speak such things aloud.

Naomi however realised that with drinking alcohol game the annoying need to pee and once again came another krypton factor moment that always felt like more effort that it was worth, but she was starting to get pretty fucking desperate and couldn't wait much longer, With Cook heading to the bar to get another round, Naomi shuffled her way to the edge of the booth before she pushed herself up using the table to steady her, felling a little tipsy but in high spirits as she headed for the 'ladies' if you could call it that in Keith's pub, they may as well have put a sign up calling it the 'shitter' because when you got inside that's what it looked like, dark, dingy and a damp mouldy smell that lingered.

Naomi made short work of her pit stop or as short as she possibly could feeling handicapped and all before making her way back to Cook who was sitting at the table with another 2 empty shot glasses and oddly enough 4 full ones and 5 beers which seemed a little bizarre.

"Bit fucking greedy aren't you?" she accused gesturing to the shots and beers on the table as she slipped back in the booth and shuffled her way across to the other side before dragging a beer towards her and taking a sip.

Cook just acted offended but was apparently once again rather chuffed with himself as he downed half his beer in one gulp before wiping the back of his hand across his mouth and slamming the drink down, the liquid sloshing about but not spilling for once before he gave her a cheeky grin and inclined his head with raised eyebrows and a little nod to which she turned and saw Effy walking towards her a genuine smile on her face and then shortly followed was Katie and...Emily.

Naomi's breath caught in her chest as her eyes were drawn to the one person who had been occupying her mind most frequently, the fire inside her that had toned down to a comfortable warmth roared into action, her heart pounding wildly in her ears feeling as though it was about ready to jump out of her rib cage and flop about on the table before stuttering and finally stopping forever.

Emily looked radiant and briefly she once again felt like complete and utter shit all bruised and ugly, but the thought was only brief as her mind blazed back to Emily, her red locks shining brighter than she remembered them last and bouncing with each step she took closer towards her. She wore a shirt that was rolled up at the sleeves and buttoned to show off her pale skin yet not be too revealing along with skinny jeans and sneakers that flopped on the floor with each step. A long silver necklace with a heavy pendant was currently bouncing between her breasts and Naomi felt her cheeks flush as she realised she'd just been openly staring at Emily's tits and quick as a flash she smiled at the new arrivals and shifted her gaze to Cook across from her...and Effy...who was currently smiling at her with an amused expression and raise one single eyebrow at her. Of course Effy had noticed, when didn't she ever.

Katie of course was dressed more suggestively, which meant her tits were practically hanging out and if her skirt was much shorter she may as well call it a belt but her arrival sparked nothing in Naomi except maybe a little wonder at what she was doing here, Cook however seemed to have his eyes trained on Katie's tits and unlike Naomi had no intention of pulling his gaze away from them. "Katie! Emilio! how the devil are you fine looking ladies?" he added before sliding their shots across the table to where they had shuffled in next to Naomi, Katie first and Emily seated at the end of the table raising his own to them before throwing it back, Effy following suit straight after with her own shot.

Naomi watched as the twins each reached for their shots and raised them to their lips before tipping their heads back and swallowing the fiery liquid greedily, Naomi's gaze was particularly intrigued by the slender pale neck of Emily's as she had tilted her head back... _Jesus I feel like a bloody vampire_ she thought idly before she turned her attention back to her drink in front of her not daring to look at Effy and her know it all expression.

"Im Fan-Fucking-Tastic, just landed myself a proper mint job working in this new designers shop, 40% discount and all the new fashions at first pick!" Katie sighed almost contently before resting back in her seat. Naomi watched Cooks expression, it was priceless he clearly couldn't give a fuck about fashion but never the less he made the effort to _try_ and look interested and pleased for Katie, she however was oblivious and appeared to be staring at the table as if someone had rocked up and shat all over it.

"Where the fucks our drinks Cook?" she asked glancing across the table and seeing nothing but beers and empty shot glasses. Naomi snorted and instantly regretted it as she felt it in her ribs but what she didn't notice was the way Emily had leant forward slightly in her seat and looked over to Naomi who had pressed her hand to her ribs trying to sooth the ache beneath her palm.

Cook hadn't noticed this either as he was just looking at Katie as if she were blind before pointing at the beer on the table, she however was clearly not impressed and tutted loudly before telling Emily to move and left muttering about getting a real drink.

Emily moved for her twin and chuckled as sat down she pulled one of the beers close to herself. The fire inside Naomi roared a little in response. That laugh...it was amazing and reminded her of the good times in the past and she wondered why she hadn't noticed that incredibly sexy laugh the last time she had seen her. Surely she had laughed it seemed almost impossible for there to have been nothing remotely funny the last times they had met.

Lost in her thoughts she had completely missed the conversation happening around her and she tried to pull herself back to it but in truth she was only half listening, it was only made worse when Katie arrived back with her vodka and coke in hand and told Emily to move up...moving up meant moving towards Naomi and suddenly she felt like she was going to self combust as Emily's leg brushed against her own and their shoulders touched faintly also, she gasped at the contact her fists balled tightly an involuntary reaction and Emily rounded on her instantly concern etched on her face worried that she had in some way hurt the blonde. But fortunately Naomi passed it off by flexing her fist of her right hand "Just a twinge" she added and she was graced with the most beautiful smile she had seen in a long time.

The conversation around them continued, talking of the good old days and whilst the other three were talking animatedly, Cook more so than the others Emily grabbed Naomi's cast arm and started to massage her hand gently, tracing circles across her skin, circles that felt familiar but quite where from she couldn't quite place. But it didn't seem important as she felt herself relaxing into the touch soothing the ache that her balled fist had created.

"What made you pick blue?" Emily asked and Naomi hesitated knowing that she hadn't picked it but felt that saying that Effy did sounded pretty stupid so instead she just settled on shrugging.

"Well I like it, it brings out your eyes" and once again Naomi was greeted with the most beautiful smile she felt that she could dream about for days.

"Thanks" Naomi replied feeling a bit stupid but at the same time quite overwhelmed. She made a mental note to thank Effy later

"So..." Emily continued rubbing those soothing circles and Naomi found it harder and harder to concentrate "how are you feeling?" she asked

"Better, its good to get out of the house, I was starting to go stir crazy daytime TV is not all its cut out to be you know" and once again Naomi was graced with that throaty laugh that threw petrol on the fire and it almost egged her on to do more to make Emily laugh.

"Yeah I can imagine, why don't you read?" Emily asked and it was a good question, Naomi loved to read and not just glorious 'Heat' but also classic works of fiction and even the odd crime and fantasy based novels, it was part of the reason behind why she had applied for the job in the bookstore. "I've read everything I own and this is the first real time I've been out since..." she trailed off and Emily just nodded in understanding.

"Anyway enough about this cripple, how's life treating Emily Fitch" Naomi asked with a bright smile hoping that she didn't look too much of a dick with the faint bruises still tainting her features.

"I'm good, better than good actually" she beamed back at Naomi and if it were possible the trailing of circles on her hand had gotten more than just relaxing and felt almost sensual and Naomi found herself drawn to the radiant beauty across from her, she smiled back and they fell into easy conversation Emily finally abandoning Naomi's hand which still tingled with the touch long after she had stopped her soothing action, although that could just be the alcohol that she had consumed that had left her whole body tingling.

Naomi was happy, really fucking happy she was on cloud nine, maybe even higher and it was such an odd sensation, something that she hadn't felt properly for a long time that made her stop and look at her friends around her, because that's what they all were, even Katie and Emily. How it had happened she didn't know, something had changed the night she'd been attacked, especially with Katie, and not just with her but with Effy too, they hadn't seen eye to eye since the whole rock in the forest thing but now there seemed to be a level of comradery that existed between them. Naomi wondered if maybe she should thank Mandy for bringing her friends back together..._Nah!_

Naomi was feeling that all familiar need to pee again, stupid alcohol making everyone's bladder shrink to the size of a peanut. Extracting herself from the booth she headed once again to begin another episode of the Krypton factor but she did so with a smile on her face which still remained when she returned, that was until she saw _her_ across the other side of the pub and she froze in her tracks, her heartbeat increasing as adrenaline coursed through her body and before she knew it Effy was there next to her guiding her back to her seat holding her hand tightly and staring pointedly at Katie who seemed to cotton on pretty quick as she and Effy seemed to have a silent conversation thought they could have spoken aloud for what it was worth as Naomi had completely zoned out.

Emily who was at the bar with Cook of course missed all of this and when they came back everything was almost back to Normal, Naomi was quiet yet she was at least breathing normally again though a little paler but it wasn't easy to notice in the dim light of the pub. There was a small change to the seating positions, Katie Cook and Emily on one side, and Effy and Naomi on the other but the conversation carried on as normal with the exception of a rather distracted Naomi and extra observant Effy whose gaze kept drifting to the blonde next to her every so often.

It was Katie who noticed it first, Naomi had stiffened considerably, and Effy in turn had sat a little straighter in her seat from around the booth Mandy sauntered into view.

"Emily" she singsonged what she presumed to be sweetly but it sounded more like a banshee wailing. "So good to see you, I was wondering if maybe I could interest you in a drink?"

"No thanks" Emily replied stern faced and coldly obviously not interested but apparently that wasn't the answer Mandy wanted as she pressed her hands to the table and leant forward almost aggressively. Naomi flinched, it was so slight it seemed no one but Effy noticed, at least that's what it felt like but Mandy turned her head towards Naomi "Something wrong Naomi?" she asked not waiting for an answer "Nasty accident you had there, who's girlfriend did you _fuck_ to get that" extra emphasis was placed on the word fuck and Mandy grinned almost manically enjoying playing a game with the blonde.

Across from Naomi Katie's temper had been rising, first that Mandy had completely ignored the warning she and Effy had given her and was once again trying it on with Emily and secondly that she was so blazee about what she had done to Naomi.

"You know exactly who you whorish bitch" before Katie knew it the words were out of her mouth and she watched Naomi's eyes widen as she come to realise that Katie knew who had beat the living crap out of her, she saw the way she had stiffened even more if it were even possible, coiled so tightly that her muscles must be screaming at her in protest.

"What?" Emily asked confused and Naomi closed her eyes gripping on to Effy tightly hoping and praying that Mandy would leave and Emily would forget it but she could hear the cogs turning she could hear them slipping into place as if each layer was being broken one at a time and finally it would all make sense and Emily would know. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes staring at the red head across from her, and she saw the realisation setting in she saw the exact point it hit, Emily's expression changing to pure fury and hatred in an instant.

"YOU DID THIS?" She screamed at Mandy.

**

* * *

**

DUM DUM DUM

**So I don't really know where this came from, I wrote about a third yesterday and then got a bit lost with where I was going with it and then when I sat down tonight it just sort of happened.**

**Anyway I hope you enjoy it, I have college all weekend but will try and get an update next week, I've got a day in London for work again which means another four hours or so on the train so I'll try and get another chapter out then.**

**Happy weekend and you know what to do, be a darling and hit review =)**


	14. Chapter 14

So my trip to London this week got cancelled and that meant I had to try and fit this in during my increasingly busy evenings, however 2 mock exams done in time for submission this weekend and I found myself with some time to spare, so I daren't keep you lovely people waiting any longer. Bit of a shorter one, that might be the only way I can guarentee half decent updates!

Remember I don't own skins, I just like to do mean things to them like have psychotic cavewomen go mad and beat them down! 0 =)

* * *

"YOU DID THIS?" She screamed at Mandy.

Mandy held her hands up and backed away slightly "Whoa whoa I haven't a clue what you're talking about babe" she smiled almost cockily as Katie just puffed out a large breath of air not quite able to believe that Mandy was actually stupid enough to try and play that card in front of 3 people who knew it was her and two that were undoubtedly about to find out.

"What the fucks going on?" Emily spoke calculatedly to her twin no hint of shouting as her voice was barely contained within the whirlwind of anger and emotions swirling around her. She looked at the people sat at the table trying to look for some confirmation that this was actually the case...that Mandy had been the cause of Naomi's injuries. As she looked from one person to the other they each held a different emotion but the result was unanimous.

She turned to Katie first and she was clearly not amused, if there was one thing that Emily knew it was when to leave Katie alone and not push her twin, so she did just that turned to the next person which was Cook and his expression struck a note of fear in her, she had seen Cook angry before she had seen him splash about and soak everyone around him as his temper controlled his actions. She could only presume that he didn't seem to have a clue about the truth of this either and Emily felt just a little brief helping of relief that she wasn't the only person out of the loop too stupid to look at what was happening around to find two and two and come up with the correct answer.

Moving her gaze next to Effy she wasn't surprised to find the electric blue eyes unreadable, not feigning one iota of insight into what may or may not have happened the night Naomi was hurt but her body language spoke volumes, she was protective of Naomi it was clear holding her hand tightly within her own and her posture tense like a snake waiting to strike its prey and that was almost confirmation enough but there was one person left, the one person who had remained uncharacteristically quiet the whole time, with her eyes once again downcast and her posture stiff, uncomfortably so and no longer relaxed, smiling and jokey and Emily then knew there was no doubt...it must be true.

"Come on babe, lets go get that drink yeah? You know you want to really" Mandy questioned again almost cockily, with no one at the table looking to continue the conversation she felt safe that her lie had been bought. She reached across to take Emilys hand and pull her from the booth towards the bar, but before she had an opportunity Emily had snatched her hand away as though she had been burned, a look of pure disgust on her face.

"Don't fucking touch me" she spat coldly at Mandy "how the fuck could you do this?" she gestured to Naomi who was now staring at Emily with a look of pure horror not quite able to comprehend what was happening.

Naomi's mind felt as though it were being controlled by a drunk driver careering down a busy street swerving in and out of traffic as it tried desperately to find a way out of the current situation she was in. Emily knew...she knew that Mandy was behind it and as she watched the scene before her begin to unravel she felt her hope start to slip away from her, slip from her grasp. She had lied, said she didn't know who was behind it, that she hadn't seen them and now the truth was out but Emily was here, spite aimed towards Mandy and not at her and all of a sudden she was lost. She didn't know what she had expected, having been naive in thinking it would be Bristol's best kept secret and that Emily wouldn't ever know she hadn't given it much thought, but she didn't expect Emily to believe it. She thought that maybe Emily would think it was some selfish ploy to get her back, a type of sympathy vote.

She watched as Emily stood from her chair and marched Mandy away from the table, feeling her concern grow further as she worried for Emily's safety, she had seen the darker side of that bitch she was with, experienced it first hand and her main concern was that Mandy would flip out at the closest thing to her, that currently being Emily.

She saw as Katie's gaze shift quickly from Emily and Cook who was seething next to her trying to decide what would be best, to stay and keep him pinned in the corner or to leave to go check on Emily but Effy made the decision for her, giving Naomi's hand a final squeeze and then slipping from the booth walking in the direction that Emily and Mandy had.

Katie looked at her and gave her a half smile, she had no words that she could say that would help the situation, the shit had well and truly hit the fan and right now Naomi was just sat here waiting for the dust to settle. A hand snuck across the table and grabbed her arm along with another sheepish smile before she tilted her head towards Cook who was staring straight ahead his jaw clenched tightly. She shuffled across a little further in the booth so that she was directly opposite him.

"Cook...Cook...James!" she added angrily on the third attempt to get his attention and finally he shifted his gaze to look at her though his expression was hard nothing like the usual cocky expression she was used to seeing.

"I need to go, can you get me home?" She knew it was a selfish move and she was running away but it was a solution to two problems, it was taking herself out of the situation, away from Emily she couldn't bear to even think of the repercussion of the discussion going on and secondly to get Cook away before he did something stupid.

Cook however didn't seem overly sure about leaving he was bubbling with rage and his first instinct was to act on it without any concern to the repercussion but Naomi here asking for his help was more important and begrudgingly he nodded stiffly and rose from his seat as did Katie who moved to let him past after she had mouthed to Naomi that it would be okay. Without speaking a word he helped Naomi on with her jacket and led her out the back of the pub away from prying eyes. With one final glance Naomi looked for that flash of red to make sure Emily was safe but of course she wasn't privileged with that knowledge and so was left waiting and wondering as Cook led her away.

Cook had flagged down a taxi, how she wasn't quite sure it wasn't a main route or anything, just a stroke of luck and wordlessly still he helped Naomi into the taxi before slipping in beside her himself. The journey was tense the atmosphere could be easily sliced with a knife and neither party wanted to break the silence something for which Naomi was at least grateful for as she stared aimlessly out of the window watching as the lights flashed by before whilst her mind was once again operating at lightning speed thinking up possible scenarios as it often did though she didn't have any idea on how it was going to play out.

She had two main concerns, Emily and Cook. Cook who was next to her and about ready to explode but somehow managing to control his temper though Naomi had no idea how, she had expected Cook to punch something or someone by now. The other concern was of course Emily. The one person who she had craved for so long and then practically given up on although never quite completely, no matter what she told herself only to have her seep back into her life piece by piece inch by inch and now she might just be snatched from her grasp again, like a life snuffed out way before its time.

Naomi bit her lip to stop it from quivering with the emotions coursing through her, she felt like everything was about to fall apart again, like the sticky tape she had been using to piece her life back together again with was giving way, each piece was hanging by a thread and all she could do was wait to see if each thread finally snapped as her new found relationships blew up in her face or if the thread was made of steel and would stand the test.

Cook roused Naomi from her thoughts, gently placing a hand on her knee and giving it a gentle squeeze before rubbing it slightly, of course Cook was made of steel he and Effy were the only two things she was sure she could count on no matter what life threw at them, that's why she loved them so much and would do anything for them and deep down that's why she had no worries that Cook would be okay...eventually.

Arriving home Cook threw some cash at the driver before heading straight to the front door leaving Naomi to make her way into the house on her own. She headed straight for the kitchen where she found Cook lighting up to calm his temper, despite his comforting actions in the car it was clear he was still angry. He stood leaning against the kitchen worktop his foot taping impatiently on the floor as he smoked his cigarette like his life depended on it. Naomi herself lit her own cigarette up and watched Cook, a light smile gracing her features as she took note of his habits like the way he would clench and unclench his jaw in between tokes and the way he shuffled from one foot to the other agitatedly.

Naomi saw it happen before it actually took place, she saw the rage build and build in Cooks face, more so in his eyes which grew more and more stern with each passing moment until he span around and hammered his fist into the kitchen cupboard leaving a slight imprint on the door and without doubt a bruise on his knuckles.

"Better?" Naomi questioned as she continued to puff away on her cigarette her gaze still fixated on Cook.

"Not really...why the fuck didn't you tell me it was that fucking bitch"

"This is exactly why...We...I decided it was better this way" Naomi added hesitation as she realised her mistake in mentioning 'we'.

"We being Effy?" He asked with a frown. "Fuck sake Naomikins I'm not some ticking fucking time bomb" he protested before dropping his hands in frustration and moving to sit opposite Naomi.

"That's exactly what you are...you're telling me that if you had the opportunity you wouldn't have done anything, anything at all?" She asked raised eyebrows.

He smiled his usually cocky smile "The fuck I would babes, she'd have been on the floor begging for her mummy!"

"Exactly" Naomi replied smug as she knew she was always going to win either way "and that would leave you where exactly...banged up?"

"Yeah alright I get it" he admitted with defeat "but I'm still pissed at you for holding out on me! You're always holding out on the Cookie monster come to think of it" Naomi just smiled safe in the knowledge that if Cook were back to his usual jokey self things were A-OK.

"Why did she do it?" he asked his face serious again before he added "Emily?"

Naomi nodded, of course it was Emily, what other reason could it be.

"What changed?" he asked looking for more

"I've no idea, she's was just some sort of psycho bitch raving at me about Emily being hers oh and probably a little in retaliation for when I gave her a nose bleed plus I may have said something about her being a crap shag" she added with a slight shrug as she took another cigarette out and lit it. Cook just laughed his usual bellowing laugh and beamed at Naomi which instantly brought a smile to her face also, it was weird that at the exact moment it could all fall apart again she was here laughing with Cook as though none of this happened.

"Fucking ace babes you crack me up, but maybe next time try not to pick on someone fucking nuts, because to be honest you scared the living shit out of me" Naomi nodded but didn't add anything further as she turned her attention to something interesting in the ashtray on the table.

Cook noticed the shift in her mood but before he could comment a banging at the door caught his attention, he looked to Naomi as if to ask if she knew who it was but she just shrugged and returned her attention to the table as Cook rose from his chair to answer the incessant banging "Alright alright keep your fucking pants on unless your female and hot"

Opening the door, he was met with one very flustered looking red head "Emilio man you tryin to knock the fuckin door down chillax man" Emily however seemed in no mood for Cooks usual cocky nature and stormed past him straight to the kitchen, Cook just watched her pass as he saw Katie and Effy head towards him deep in conversation.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" she shouted at Naomi as soon as she walked into the kitchen and stood across from her leaning both palms on the table.

Naomi looked up with a defeated look on her face, this was what she had been dreading ever since leaving Keith's the aftermath of Emily's revelation "What exactly was I meant to say, Oh hi Emily good to see you, you look great, oh by the way your girlfriends a real fucking nut job she thought it would be a good idea to use me to practice her ninja skills on"

"Since when did you become retarded Naomi, you're not stupid so don't try and act it" she added with frustration before sitting in the seat previously occupied by Cook who was notably absent.

"I'm not trying to act it!" Naomi protested "Seriously what the fuck was I meant to say?"

"Errr...how about the truth" Emily added sarcastically which Naomi just scoffed in response to.

"Like you would have fucking believed me, now whose retarded?"

"Fuck you Naomi, don't even try to presume what I would or wouldn't have believed, you don't fucking know me!" Emily added with full on rage now, which just spiked the same retaliation from Naomi.

"And you don't fucking know me, you have no idea! _You_ ran off with your cushty life leaving me behind and then you just waltzed back in uninvited and just presume you know everything! Well you don't know shit, you've no idea who I am anymore so why don't you just mind your own fucking business" her temper poured out of her and before she knew it she had found herself stood leaning over the table at Emily, breathing hard which just caused her ribs to ache. She quickly sat back down and turned her gaze away from Emily instead deciding to stare out of the kitchen window, she felt her eyes begin to sting with unshed tears the whole situation becoming just too much to bare.

Emily sighed across from her and replied but this time her voice calmer all trace of anger erased and instead just sadness remained, there was a significant shift in the atmosphere, instead of being tense it was now sombre.

"I can't...because it _is _my business..." she trailed off and Naomi continued to stare out the window in order to keep her emotions in check, she feared that one look at Emily would be her downfall.

"It's my fault, all of it...I never thought she would hurt you when I broke up with her, I didn't even know she was capable of something so...so...just..." she trailed off again not able to find the right words to express herself but Naomi's mind was at warp speed, the comment hadn't been missed Emily had already broke up with Mandy when she had met her in the club and suddenly it all made a little more sense but her revelation and Emily's confession had started something that she couldn't stop, she clenched her eyes together tightly in a feeble attempt to stop her tears from falling but she knew it was futile.

She felt a hand placed under her chin turning her face to look at the red head across from her, and she let her gaze be led with no resistance as a soft thumb stoked across her cheek in a comforting manner. She looked into the eyes of the woman across from her and she saw sadness in them too and guilt, guilt that in Naomi's opinion wasn't hers to carry.

Emily wiped the tears from Naomi's face with the pad of her thumb as her own eyes welled up "I'm sorry Naomes...so so sorry...if I had known...I...god...If I hadn't broken up with her none of this would have happened, you wouldnt have been in hospital and...none of this, none of it would have happened..." she trailed off as her tears began to fall.

"Don't" whispered Naomi her voice thick with emotion as she mirrored Emily's actions and wiped Emily's tears away with her thumb "Don't think that, it's not your fault, it never was and besides if it weren't for Mandy I wouldn't have gotten this sexy scar or amazing cast" she raised her arm for effect as she half smiled at Emily.

Emily smiled and stared back at her through teary eyes 'it's okay I mean I wouldn't call it _amazing_" she shrugged.

"But seriously Naomes I am so sorry...for everything..."

"Forget it, it's in the past water under the bridge and all that, and besides it wasn't your fault Ems so don't beat yourself up about it, you aren't responsible for someone else's actions, unless you told her to beat me up?" she added grinning at her to which Emily just gave a hearty chuckle in that husky voice of hers that gave Naomi goose bumps all over.

Things might not be perfect but one thing was certain, there was definitely something still there between them and even if it wasn't ever more than friendship that was at least better than nothing, however only time would tell.

* * *

I'm not sure if I'm 100% happy with this, I re-wrote it a couple of times and procrastinated enough but I couldn't seem to settle on it so I thought what the fuck stick it up there and let the readers decide!

If you don't like it just say, it feels bit like I kind of rushed them along at lightning speed but I just couldn't keep them awkward, angry and mad at one another forever as we'd still be here 10 chapters later! Plus they had to move forward at some point, this seemed like as good of time as any. Plus there's still Naomi's whole self harming issue but for that to play out I think they need to be on more regular speaking terms, it's not just something that you can bring up out of the blue and actually expect the other person to not just blow you off in an instant with a 'I tripped and fell on barbed wire' kind of retort – yes I've used that one, and no it doesn't work but at least people don't ask any more questions! Plus once you've used it once, it's a story for life people! Remember that for everything!

Anyway let me know what you thought, be it good or bad I don't mind, just if is bad try and make it constructive so I can at least attempt to improve - this is after all still my first ever story and I don't claim to be a genius!


	15. Chapter 15

Naomi had woken to the sun streaming in though the curtains, she felt refreshed well rested and almost relaxed which was bizarre, the last week had almost ended in a catastrophe but somehow it had all worked out okay...ish not quite 'alright' but certainly not car crash worthy.

She stretched gently still hesitant of her remaining injuries although it was almost more out of habit rather than for actual pain reasons and she had started to enjoy the ache the way a sports enthusiast enjoyed the burn in their muscles the day after exercise, that was of course unless she banged it, that was less enjoyable but the general ache from a cough or a little stretch was okay now.

She heaved herself out of bed and headed to the bathroom with a bounce in her step before heading downstairs to the blissful smell of coffee drifting up the stairs.

"Have I ever mentioned how much I love you in the mornings" she beamed at Effy as she sat down at the table pulling her coffee towards her and breathing in the scent appreciatively.

"Not recently" Effy added dryly before fixing Naomi with one of her trademark piercing stares that felt like they looked right through you, reading every detail about you in the process. "Doing anything interesting today?"

Naomi blushed and shrugged trying to dumb down just how excited she was about today. Today she was meeting Emily – _meeting! _Not just running into her by accident in a toilet or as she rested in park or even waking up to find her standing in her living room doing a favour for Katie. She was meeting her, purposefully going somewhere to meet her and she was ecstatic at what it could mean but on the other hand completely nervous at the prospect.

Her silence was met by a raised eyebrow from Effy who continued to stare at her waiting for an answer her elbow resting on the table supporting her chin so her gaze never strayed from the blonde across from her.

"I don't know why you're asking you already know" Naomi finally replied frustrated and not able to take the staring anymore.

"Humour me" Effy replied still in the same position.

"Fine...Emily okay! I take it back I don't love you at all."

"Bitch" Naomi joked.

"Tell me something I don't already know" Effy replied as she sent a triumphant smile at Naomi and left her blushing furiously as she stared into her half empty coffee.

"Come on you if you're going to see Emily you can't go looking like that, grease monkey"

Naomi ran a hand through her hair and grimaced she had to agree it was pretty gross, the sooner she could get back to washing her hair properly herself the better, she didn't like to bug Effy every five minutes so instead just struggled on trying to do things left handed, which she had to admit she completely sucked at, she downed the last of her coffee and followed Effy up the stairs.

* * *

Naomi wrapped her jacket a little tighter around herself as the wind whipped at her, blowing her freshly washed dried and styled hair in the wind, her excitement from this morning completely vanished and all that was left was nerves.

She was waiting for Emily outside a coffee shop they had agreed to meet at, as she stood hugging her jacket to herself she felt a little stupid waiting leaning against the window in the middle of a busy street for Emily to arrive. She pulled her sleeve back and glanced at her watch...Emily was late and suddenly she wondered if she were going to be stood up but surely no, Emily had been the one that wanted to meet still feeling guilty over the whole Mandy thing, wanting to say sorry.

Another ten minutes or so passed and Naomi was starting to contemplate waiting inside, she was freezing almost to the point of losing all feeling in her hands which were almost completely numb, she shoved her left hand into her jacket pocket and her right she tried but the angle was wrong and it just looked awkward without the ability to bend her wrist so instead just kept it close to her waist as she scanned her eyes left and right looking for a flash of red.

She heard her first, a shout of her name in that husky tone and as she turned she saw Emily running up the street her bag bouncing with each step as her sneakers slapped against the concrete.

"Sorry I'm late..." she added a little out of breath from running "Katie was having a crisis."

Naomi rolled her eyes "she didn't break a nail did she?" she asked as she beamed at Emily, more pleased that she turned up rather than anything.

Emily chucked that husky laugh of hers that caused Naomi to shudder involuntary as it felt like a jolt of electricity had been shot through her, it gave her the feeling you get when people use the expression 'someone walked over my grave' except less cold and more shuddery. Of course it would be too easy for it to go unnoticed by Emily who placed a hand on Naomi's in concern.

"Jesus you're freezing, come on" she gripped Naomi's cast hand gently and pulled her away from the glass she'd been leaning against and into the coffee shop which caused another ripple of electricity to shoot through Naomi. Once inside they proceeded to order their drinks which Emily insisted on paying for and kindly carried to an inviting looking leather sofa near the back of the shop which they slumped down on.

Naomi grabbed her drink almost instantly as she sat down and wrapped her hand around it relishing in the heat that was quickly warming her hands, her right hand she rubbed gently up and down her thigh trying to get some feeling back in it rather than the numbing cold that had taken it over.

Emily watched her amused as she slipped her jacket off and settled back into the sofa wriggling a little till she was comfortable. She then reached down and grabbed Naomi's hand and rubbed it gently between her own passing her own warmth to Naomi.

Naomi was pretty glad she hadn't dropped her coffee all over her in shock at Emily's actions it seemed so surreal to be sitting here and having someone who she had only recently met again act so comfortably with her, and for her to let it happen.

In all the time that had passed after Emily had broken up with her not once had she shared any moment of intimacy. Of course she had been with people that was a given, but it had never meant anything, it was just fucking - a means to an end, an itch that had needed scratching. Yes she had slept with the same person more than once but she didn't get close to them, not on an emotional level at least, she didn't get goose bumps from being around them and they certainly didn't make her feel the way Emily was making her feel right now.

If anyone else had tried to act this way with her she would have snatched her hand away as if she had been scorned, the only people that had been remotely close to her since Emily were Effy and Cook and they didn't count they were like the brother and sister she never had.

She watched Emily's face as she was warming her hand, the little crease that appeared in her forehead as she looked in concern at her bright blue cast and Naomi wondered just what was running through that beautiful mind and she presumed it was another wave of guilt as the crease deepened along with her frown. As much as she didn't want Emily to stop what she was doing she also didn't want her to feel guilty so she gripped Emily's hand back gently and the smiled at her as she turned to face her, her smile deepening as she saw Emily's frown vanish and a slight blush cross her cheeks at being caught.

Emily dropped her hand and reached across for her drink sitting back and sipping slowly on it.

"So..." Naomi started "what was Katie's crisis all about then" deciding on a safe topic to discuss, Emily made her nervous in the sense that she was struggling to find a topic of conversation, the other night in the pub had been easier, alcohol always had the ability to loosen your tongue.

"Oh you know Katie, the normal romance troubles, apparently men are all wankers!" Naomi choked a little on her drink.

"Preaching to the choir here Ems" She didn't know where it come from, the way she had abbreviated Emily's like an old habit she hadn't ever shook. If Emily had been shocked by the casual use of her name she hadn't let on and Naomi was grateful for that fact.

"I know that's pretty much what I said, I almost suggested she tried some lady action but I'm not sure that she would have seen the funny side of it" Naomi scoffed in response just imagining the look on Katie's face.

"Anyway enough about Katie, what's been going on in the life of Naomi Campbell?"

"Well last time I heard it was something about a lawsuit" Emily interrupted her by punching her gently in the arm "ha ha very funny, smart arse you know what I meant" Naomi rubbed her arm in mock offense.

"She's okay ridiculously bored and tired of sitting around doing nothing to be honest."

"Diddums" Emily mocked adding a little pouty face for impact to which Naomi flipped her off in return, although secretly she found it stupidly adorable, the way that her bottom lip jutted out.

"And what about the Oh wonderful Miss Fitch, what's she up to these days" Naomi asked adding a little drama to the statement.

"Working at dad's new gym, it's pretty good actually I get to help a little in the gym and have been watching some of the fitness instructors classes and stuff, plus he needed a hand and I couldn't really say no" she shrugged. "Plus there's some pretty fit ladies that go there" she added with a wink well aware of the double meaning behind her comment.

Naomi half smiled in response, feeling more than a bit jealous of the idea of those 'fit girls' flirting with Emily and wondering if she flirted back.

"Cool...so what does the future hold...career wise? I mean we never really talked about uni or stuff well, you know, we just talked about Goa not really what was after it..."she trailed off wondering if she overstepped the mark a little not really sure if it was right to bring up Goa but at the same time curious as to what Emily's plans for the future had been. It seemed weird that they hadn't really discussed it, at any point come to think of it. She didn't have a clue what Emily had wanted to be, they had always been so busy fighting getting together and then fighting the forces around them once they were together that it had just seemed irrelevant especially after the decision to go travelling was made.

Emily completely dismissed the Goa comment which was weird, she was such a different person to what Naomi remembered, before Emily would have picked up on it, called her out on the comment but this Emily was so calm and cool it was a little unsettling. It was almost like the spirit had been beaten out of her and that spark was gone. But maybe on second thoughts that wasn't necessarily a bad thing – it's not like Naomi wanted to argue with her or anything.

"That's a good question you know, I really like it at the gym not that I'd tell my dad, but yeah I'm thinking of going to study physiotherapy at uni or some form of sports science."

Naomi nodded enthusiastically "maybe you can rehabilitate me" she waved her cast to which Emily let out another throaty chuckle which brought an instant smile to Naomi, she loved hearing Emily laugh, it was like jumping back in time, something forgotten towards the end of their relationship with all the hurt.

"I'd be a bit scared to rehabilitate you, not quite sure what you'd get up to" Emily replied with a devilish smile.

"What exactly are you implying by that" Naomi tried to act offended didn't quite manage to pull it off.

"Nothing what so ever!"

"Cheeky bitch, anyway I thought all the people that worked in gyms were meant to be fit" she retorted sarcastically as she prodded Emily in the belly expecting it to be soft but was a little shocked when her finger met resistance immediately, Emily certainly had buffed up since she last remembered.

"I'll have you know I'm a fit Fitch, the fittest Fitch there is!"

Naomi scoffed she hadn't ever heard anything quite so ridiculous come from the redhead and couldn't help herself "If that's what you tell yourself so you can sleep at night."

"It does, I sleep brilliantly thank you, anyway I'm fitter than you" and before Emily really thought about what she was doing she jabbed Naomi in the belly but didn't quite get her aim right due to Naomi being slumped on the soft and instead of being met with a firm abdomen or any abdomen for that matter she was instead met with a grimace and hiss of pain from the blonde.

"Shit...sorry..._fuck...fuck_...are you okay?" Emily asked hesitantly as she shifted so she was sitting sideways facing Naomi, she nodded to confirm she was okay but had her eyes closed in order to breathe through the spike of pain.

"God I'm so sorry I forgot... _fuck... _I'm such an idiot" Emily berated herself.

When Naomi finally opened her eyes she was met with a very concerned and guilty looking Emily, it wasn't an expression she liked seeing on her, and one that she was seeing more and more often - her forehead once again showing the same crease caused by her frown.

"I'm okay, just maybe no more prodding" Naomi replied smiling to try to alleviate Emily's expression.

"Check, no more prodding got it" she nodded.

They fell into an uneasy silence after that for a moment, the incident making conversation awkward to pick back up and Naomi was almost sad that the playful nature had disappeared. She coughed lightly and tried her best to hide the pain it caused her but not quite sure she succeeded, so instead she decided to distract Emily instead.

"Did you want to get out of here maybe? I think that waitress is going to throw us out of here if we don't buy something else" she motioned her head over Emily's shoulder to where a member of staff was currently glaring daggers at them.

Emily just looked back towards her and rolled her eyes "sure" as she jumped up and slipped her jacket on. Naomi was at this point grateful for having not taken her jacket off as it meant she didn't have to struggle putting it on with her ribs aching the way they did.

Rising from her seat gingerly she stood and then walked out into the fresh British weather that for once was dry and bright although rather nippy.

Wrapping her jacket around herself and zipping it up she stood with Emily looking up and down the street at the many people bustling up and down.

"So where to?" Emily asked and Naomi now noticed a rather fatal flaw in her plan, she hadn't really thought of where they would go she had just wanted to get things away from the awkwardness.

"Errr...I guess we could go to mine?" Naomi almost grimaced, she hated the way it sounded, almost sleazy but she had no idea where they could go and it was bloody cold outside so home seemed like a suitable idea, plus she was cursing herself for being stubborn and not bringing any painkillers with her.

"Sure lets go" and Emily started walking down the street not looking back to check if Naomi was following. She rummaged a hand in her bag looking for something and Naomi wondered just what that was until they turned the corner and saw Emily's moped parked there which instantly brought a smile to Naomi's face.

"You've still got it?" She asked which in hindsight was pretty stupid because it was right there in front of her clearly not a figment of her imagination with its faded orange paint and blue and purple tassels that were flapping about in the breeze.

"Yeah I passed my driving test ages ago, but I couldn't bring myself to get rid of it, plus you know how much it drives my mum nuts" she added with smile before passing a helmet across to Naomi who took it hesitantly.

The bike meant sitting upright feeling every bump in the road, every bump that was going to aggravate her already sore ribs, but on the other hand it meant that she got to wrap her arms around Emily's waist...the decision was made, she could live with a little pain, and it wasn't that far back to hers so she pulled the helmet on and sat on the back of the bike as Emily sat in front and she instantly wrapped her arms around her waist.

She shuffled forward a little more so she was pressed firmly against Emily. "You don't mind do you? it's just its a little harder to hold on with this" and she waved her cast in front of Emily's vision to which she just shook her head to imply it wasn't a problem and so Naomi resumed her place pressed firmly to Emily's back.

So maybe it was a _little_ bit of a lie, she could have probably held on just fine for the short journey, but she wasn't about to pass up a perfect opportunity to feel Emily's body against her again.

Naomi was glad the journey was short and she was also glad to be pressed so closely to Emily, not only for the obvious reasons but also for the fact that she had forgotten just how bloody cold it was on a bike. Plus there was also the poor conditions of British roads, it was like riding on cobbled streets with square wheels, she felt almost every single bump in the road, and the result was unanimous her ribs screamed at her in protest clearly not amused with Emily's poking or the trip on the moped.

She climbed gingerly from the bike and reached up to take her helmet off passing it to Emily, who stored it away in the compartment under the seat before she followed Naomi who had headed to the front door slipping inside to the warmth of her home.

"Eff...you home?" she called out but received no reply so presumed that she was out.

She turned back to Emily who was hesitating sheepishly in the hallway not really sure if it was right to just invite herself fully into the house.

"Fancy a drink?" Naomi asked to which Emily nodded "What do you fancy hot? Cold? Water? Squash? Fizzy? Alcoholic?" Naomi was babbling and she knew it she felt nervous for some reason like having Emily in her house was completely foreign but really it was like stepping in a time machine and jumping back a year.

Emily however seemed to just ignore the babbling and was considering her options, as she watched Naomi pull a beer from the fridge and open it up taking a long swig straight away "Got another one of those?" she asked to which Naomi nodded and produced one from the fridge passing it across.

Naomi then headed upstairs with 2 intensions, one some painkillers she knew it was a bad idea to mix them with alcohol but then she never was one to follow the rules or do anything remotely sensible and secondly she wanted to lay down flat, no slouching just a nice firm bed to lay on which just happened to be upstairs.

Emily however appeared to be having another one of those moments where she wasn't sure if it was right to follow or not that was until Naomi called and asked her if she was coming or not making her decision for her.

Once upstairs Emily wandered around Naomi's bedroom taking in her surroundings whilst Naomi was in the bathroom, there were subtle differences from how she remembered it. Mostly in the decor, ornaments and photos that littered her room but also just in the layout. Gone were the green and activist posters and in their place stood a collage of memories, photos of her friends and just general points from her life were strategically placed on the wall along with certain objects that provided reminders, it was beautiful, almost like a hundred snapshots of Naomi's life being thrown at you all at once and she couldn't help but stare at it, a few particular photos sparking their own memories in her, like the time they had gone back to the lake and taken a camera to capture the beauty of it, and then many random photos of the gang from college and a few she presumed were from Manchester, she was sure she had seen the pub in one of the photos on queer as folk.

She was still looking at it when Naomi came back in and settled down on the bed after taking another sip of her beer. Naomi watched her with curiosity for a moment before she cleared her throat hoping to gain Emily's attention without actually having to call out to her.

Fortunately her ploy worked and Emily wandered over to join her on the bed, she inclined her head to the collage "must have taken you ages?" she asked.

Naomi nodded "yeah I haven't really had much to do, it's been a good distraction"

"You're really good at it you know" she added as she took another sip and laid down properly on the bed resting her head on her elbow as she watched Naomi's face.

"Not really but thanks, it was just something to pass the time you know?"

"No seriously, they're really good, maybe you should take some art classes" and Naomi considered it for a moment as Emily drank her beer next to her, she hadn't really thought about what she was going to do, she loved literature but on the other hand she had secretly loved creating the collage, she decided to just nod not really sure how to reply to Emily about it right that moment.

They laid in the bed in silence, Naomi staring at the ceiling deep in thought, and Emily glancing around the room and finally settling her gaze on Naomi, the disadvantage to this was that Naomi could feel the need to cough building and she wasn't sure how much longer she could hold it off knowing that she wouldn't be able to hide the grimace from Emily a second time.

Deciding to try and clear her throat to try and clear the building irritation she realised it wouldn't work and finally couldn't hold it anymore. As she suspected Emily had indeed noticed the flash of pain cross her face.

She almost flinched as she felt a very gentle weight press against her midsection, rubbing up and down gently trying to sooth the ache beneath. Naomi let a long breath out as Emily's touch sent fire through her body warming her in an instant.

"Can I see?" Emily asked hesitatingly, still keeping her gentle rubbing up. Naomi however wasn't really thinking she just nodded almost blindly and her breath hitched just a little as Emily shifted her weight and pulled her top up gently a little to expose her abdomen and midsection.

Fortunately for Naomi, Emily mistook the hitch as one of pain rather than the truth which was that Emily's hand had brushed against her skin and sent more waves of heat shooting through her body. Naomi watched Emily as her expression darkened and her frown line returned. She was well aware of the bruising that still lingered and although it had faded it was still there and it didn't look exactly pretty.

"Hey" she said to Emily as she raised her hand to press it against her cheek.

"I know what you're thinking and it's not your fault okay?"

Emily nodded she didn't believe that, she did still feel responsible but she couldn't argue with Naomi and so instead she pulled her top back down to cover the bruising and continued to rub her careful to now avoid where she knew the worst bruising was.

Naomi hadn't been tired when she had laid on the bed, she had only been up about half the day but nonetheless she felt herself getting sleepier and sleepier under Emily's touch and not long after she drifted off still with Emily next to her.

* * *

So yeah some progress for our duo – I'm not sure about Naomi falling asleep next to Emily, I mean yeah she trusts her but I can't decide if it's really all that realistic. But it seemed to write itself that way and to be honest I'm not sure how else I would have ended it.

Thanks by the way for your reviews for the last chapter - and all those who story alert etc =)

As always I love your kind words and even if they aren't kind I still would appreciate feedback so you know what to do – hit that review button and give me a piece of your mind!


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